Acceptance

Discussion in 'Gay' started by rain_in_summer, May 11, 2004.

  1. It sometimes seems to me that it's easier for a lot of people to accept two women loving each other than two men.
    Do you have noticed that too?
    If yes, do you have any idea why?
     
  2. veinglory

    veinglory Member

    I suspect because what women do is simply not seen as very important. Not that being lesbian is exactly a walk in the park in most communities.
     
  3. Mui

    Mui Senior Member

    because men look at two women having sex and "loving eachother" and they get turned on by it... but when they think of two men they shrivel in fear, or drown in their lake of homophobia.
     
  4. veinglory

    veinglory Member

    Yep. Of course I think two guys together is very hot, as many women do -- strange but true.

    So maybe the difference is that man are more threatened by gay men than women are by lesbians? Making lesbianism less of an overal 'issue'.
     
  5. HappyHaHaGirl

    HappyHaHaGirl *HipForums Princess*

    Women are just far more beautiful than men, so it's easier to accept the idea of them loving each other. Men are gross and no one wants to think about that shit, so they get all freaked out. :)
     
  6. lovelyweapon

    lovelyweapon Member

    The only time I have noticed it in my life is around straight men. I've talked to them about it and part of what they explained to me is they can't understand why a man would want to have a relationship with another man, whereas with lesbians, they at least have in common the fact that they are attracted to women, and can somewhat identify with that.

    But that's just my experience.
     
  7. daysye

    daysye dumb as a box of hammers

    i have noticed that a lot...in my opinion i think it is because men get turned on by the idea of 2 woman together, whereas they are turned off by 2 men together....the world today is highly charged with sexual tension, completly powered by the ultimate male fantasy of seeing 2 woman together.....
     
  8. Mui

    Mui Senior Member

    I agree, except men are beautiful too.. just in different ways... i still like women the best, but guys turn me on too... women have breasts and things like that... its an unfair advantage.

    yea and I know a lot of women that love to watch gay guys go at it
     
  9. HappyHaHaGirl

    HappyHaHaGirl *HipForums Princess*

    Yeah, I guess men can be beautiful, but why you get their asses involved, it just doesn't seem quite as sexy to me. :)
     
  10. Mui

    Mui Senior Member

    because it feels tighter than a vagina ever will haha
    i think you would need a penis to understand that
     
  11. HappyHaHaGirl

    HappyHaHaGirl *HipForums Princess*

    Well, then.....what am I good for? :(
     
  12. Mui

    Mui Senior Member

    everything :)
     
  13. HappyHaHaGirl

    HappyHaHaGirl *HipForums Princess*

    Awww....garsh... :)
     
  14. jungee

    jungee Member

    i noticed that too, and there are so many reasons to explain it. a couple ;)

    one is men have a strict standard of masculinity to live up to in society, which means men have to be in control, and not find themselves in equivocal positions of "submission" to another individual. and in many ways, men consider that gay sex is a loss of masculinity. it's not being a man. it's "losing face", and be stripped of one's "dignity as a male" (but it's ok if women are submissive). so straight men take it very personally when they witness gay sex or kissing, cause they feel it reflects badly on them.

    the other reason is a bit more complex and hard to acknowlegde...but i think boys/men have a very bad "self image"...the culture constantly vehiculates images of men who are unfeeling, uncaring, unclean, unrefined, arrogant. so it's hard for men to understand how anyone can actually "love" a man. men are the ones who are supposed to be attracted to females. they watch and are not supposed to be lusted upon in return ...hence why women are the sole keepers of seduction and beauty : centuries of homosexual repression have destroyed all art celebrating the male physique....it's changing a bit now, but it's going to take generations more before men change their perception of themselves and make peace with their own "seduction" power.

    ok that was long, but i hope it made some sense :D
     
  15. autumn_jewels

    autumn_jewels Member

    hi all :)

    i would say people are more 'shocked by' and therefore opiniated and responsive about gay men than gay women because...

    ...women are generally more affectionate/sensitive/girlie (obv;) ) and us girls grow up walking arm in arm with mates, holdin hands etc etc

    ...men (as a stereotype and therefore in general) are taught to be hard/macho/not cry etc etc....and so seeing a guy behave in an affectionate friendly way to another man is more often that not seen in that way, regardless of whether it actually is or not. I think because its seen less, I guess and then so is more shocking or surprising to people.

    ah just my two cents
    daisylou:)
     
  16. tourmaline

    tourmaline Member

    bottom line is, we can't base acceptence on what we personally are attracted too... i cannot even imagine being attracted to the female body, i look at it and it just doesn't even make sense! but that doesn't mean i look at men kissing women like freaks or women kissing women as freaks! its ignorance and a stupid double standard, whatever ignorance always previels
     
  17. autumn_jewels

    autumn_jewels Member

    hehe see i cant imagine anyone not fancying the female body lol....my female friend just said to me that gay blokes prolly say they cant imagine likin girls which you just said....ah who we all fancy is a bizarre thing....girls are just yum tho:) hehe

    sorry just my ramblings, dont expect them to make sense, i dont hehe :)
     
  18. Everyone made excellent points about the influence of gender roles, masculine expectations, domination, the straight man's fantasy, etc.

    A feminist perspective: it's easier to be a lesbian -- they're rarely "considered" as a controverial issue -- because women are rarely considered at all. So it's easier to ignore lesbianism, persay.

    It's easier to be a lesbian because women accept it in much more stride than do straight men of gay men. Straight women are, in my experiences, beautiful in their responses when they realize someone they love is a lesbian. I've even found that my straight friends who are really comfortable kind of "enjoy" that I'm gay, like they'll want me to snuggle them on the couch after a really bad day...they know I value them so deeply, I guess. It's interesting.
     
  19. Fierce_Flawless

    Fierce_Flawless Hip Forums Supporter HipForums Supporter

    i think people in love and having sex, in general, is beautiful. equally. women and women, women and men, men and men... it's all the same.

    i don't think it's fair that lesbians are approached more easily than gay men. that's wrong. and for the whole gay sex is ishy thing- how many straight couples engage in anal sex behind closed doors? you know? it's not wrong. when it comes to sex, if it feels good, why not?

    i admire those who are strong enough to come out about who they're in love with, regardless of gender. love and sex are beautiful, both requiring us to render each other flawless, experiencing each beyond all pre-formed social expectation.

    huzzah!
     
  20. SkeeterVT

    SkeeterVT Member

    I've noticed this for over 30 years. And the reason for it is simple: The intolerance of male-to-male sexuality is part and parcel of the overall double standard about gender roles.


    It's no accident that the people most uncomfortable with male-to-male sexuality are men. Why is this? Two reasons:


    1) Deep insecurity among many ostensibly "straight" men about their own sexuality. Psychological studies by the Kinsey Institute recently found that the men who are the most rabidly anti-gay are paranoid about being "found out" that they themselves have homoerotic feelings (which, contrary to popular belief, is the true definition of homophobia). Yet many of those same men have no problem with lesbian sexuality -- and are even turned on by it. Others have an extreme fear of gay men doing to them what many straight men do to women -- namely, anal intercourse. So intense is this paranoia that many straight men won't even allow their wives or girlfriends to play with their anal cavities. Being anally penetrated is, to these men, a loss of their masculinity to be avoided at any cost. This in spite of the fact that many gay and bi men -- including myself -- don't like to be anally penetrated, either, albeit for completely different reasons.


    2) We live a patriarchal (male-dominated) society in which male-on-male sexuality is viewed as a direct threat to the patriarchal social order. To many men who feel this way, male-to-male sexuality is equated with effeminacy. This particular form of anti-gay bias is a natural extension of a misogynistic bias against women, manifested by the persistent stereotype that all gay men are "effeminate sissies."

    Not surprisingly, these men reserve a particularly virulent hatred toward drag queens and male-to-female transgenders.

    -- Skeeter
     

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