A word of advice

put brain into gear before engaging mouth... i could do with listening to that advise sometimes, myself...

 

if your pants are worn in the crotch and you want to wear them more


be sure to wear same colored underwears

 

If it smells of cologne, leave it alone.....;-)

 

if you have a wife and kids that you love....DO NOT PISS OFF THE SINGLE GUY NEXT DOOR WHO HAS NOTHING TO LOSE!!!!!

 

Always remember, lips and assholes are all the same....;-0

 

it teks a lang spoon to sup wi' a fyffer....

 

Don't yell to your buddy Jack on the airplane.....HI Jack!....;-0

 

If riding or driving in a short cab pickup truck be sure the headrest clears your head. If you get rear-ended your head will hit an upholstered cushion instead of a pane of glass.

 

never lend money to friends you want to keep

 

Never run out of money and not be able to pay a stripper...the bodyguards will make you pay

 

The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

 

too much cheese is a bad thing

 

Push lever to D to go forward, and R for Race fast......;-)

 

It will all work out in the end, if it hasn't worked out, it must not be the end.

 

If it smells, tastes, and looks like shit. Guess what, it's probably shit.

 

Don't put yer auto in park while traveling down the interstate @ 75mph!....;-)

 

Don't fuck a mysterious black lady you met on a bus in an ally against the dumpster.

 

Never trust an Irishman.

 

standing on one milk crate to do a little bit of carpentry work is fine


...but dont stack them...theyre way less stable that way :frown:

 

pronounce your words very clearly when asking the shopkeeper for four candles and check that you don't walk out of there with fork handles by mistake...