Sorry if this is the wrong place to put this, but I figured it might as well fit in here. This girl I know has turned into the biggest mooch and buzzkill on the planet. Every timer she texts me, she wants a ride to work. I'm fine with that but she rarely gives me any sort of compensation, or even a thank you. In addition, she is ALWAYS talking about her problems. Seriously, I don't care one single fucking bit. It's me me me 24/7. Last night, as she was again talking about herself, I jokingly offered her friend some coke, and she was immediately like "Can I have some?" After I told her I was joking, she loudly and seriously proclaims "You shouldn't mess with me when I'm so upset!" Any talk that night of one of roommates was immediately met with an annoying "Don't talk about him, it makes me upset." Everytime we have alcohol or any drug, she helps herself to it. One time she took my friend's favorite glass he was drinking from and helped herself to some wine. When he bbrought it up, she was a bitch about it, and didn't give it back. Then one time we came and visited her at her fucking shitty Skyline Chili job, and she was again a complete bitch. Her reason? "I was mad because you (me) told me my ass was just OK. Bitch cellulite ain't attractive. Plus, she is at most a 6, but thinks she's very attractive. No, just no. For another example, one time she got hammered and tried to fuck one of my roommates. He turned her down probably 6 or 7 times. After that, we are smoking in my bathroom(weird place, I know) and she starts CRYING over how he wont fuck her, and proceeds to tell me all of her fucked up mental issues. Bitch I don't CARE! She was pretty cool at first, but is annoying as hell now. Plus she always mooches food. Last night she cooked nearly a pound of pasta and ate MAYBE a fifth of it. Did you pay for that food bitch!? I'm all for sharing my shit, but she just treats it like everything is for granted. She just texted me now, obviously to secure her ride to work today. Never does she text me for any other reason than to get something she needs. I almost guarantee she will not give me any gas money, even though she said she would. If she does, it will be less than I should actually get. I'm sick and tired of it. I try to be nice to her, and all I get is shit. Some of the unfortunate guys she fucks around with have started ignoring her, and for good reason. Sorry for the huge ass rant, but no one is here and I'm just fuming. Thanks for at least letting me vent and sort-of get it all out.
she is a toxic person. eliminate toxic people from your life. you enable her behavior. you are also a toxic and judgmental person. cellulite might not be attractive to you, but your attitude is far more unattractive, because your attitude is a choice.
Maybe it's best you don't associate with her? Or maybe it's best that you do... Stop and think. What reason did this person come into my life? What reason did I come into theirs? Maybe you were meant to show her how to be appreciative...or at the very least start the process? Have you tried calmly talk to her about it? Even if you no longer wish to be her "friend", it may do both of you some good. Plus then at least you can say you tried.
I am very angry and riled up, so I am being really mean and offensive when I should not be. She is still a person after all. Sorry that I am coming off so strongly. Usually I am very mild and friendly, and this not the average me. It's just I can only take so much. It honestly hurts my feeling that I treated her like a dear friend and I get treated like meat. You are right, we are both a bit toxic. She lives a floor above me, so it is kinda hard to get her out of my life because she always stops by and visits. In her defense, when she isn't being a mooch and is not all depressed and defensive, she is fun to be around. She is then really nice and thoughtful. It's just when she becomes all upset ove complete bullshit that she uses that as an excuse for her actions. I could get rid of her, but my roommates and I are probably her only friends, and though she is more hassle than she is worth at times, I can't just give her the boot. I'm going to try to set some boundaries and be more outspoken about how I feel when she does certain things, and see if that helps. I know I am overreacting in my current angry state so I will try a reasonable approach instead of being a mean asshole. I feel if I do that then most of these current issues will be resolved.
she probably does not even see how she behaves anymore. keep a cool head, it will serve you well. wear the pants. when she misbehaves, tell her to get out. its your space. if you are giving her a ride, and she bitches and bitches, and you ask her to stop more than once, just pull over, and tell her to get out. tough to be her. you can show her what she cant see, that there is a reason she has few friends. you can help her grow, or crush her spirit. no sense being mean, especially if you live close. the way we react to life is an important indicator of what is going on within ourselves. try to be thought-full, full of thought.
I am trying to be nice. I snapped today, and ranted online like a real cool cat, but whenever I see her I try to be nice and compassionate. I'm sure you are right in that she doesn't even see how her actions look or affect people. I don't feel she does it out of malicious desires, but that she is just a self centered person at times and is just her personality. She probably just needs someone to care, but she drives off the people who do try to care. I'll give her more patience while being firm in certain situations. If she continues to be rude and mooches ungratefully we will go from there. I don't mind helping friends, but there is a difference. Hopefully her behavior changes, because as I said, when she is not being rude she really is nice and fun to be around.
what a fucking whiner......you cant blame other people because you don't have the nads to stick up and speak up for yourself..... she's a goddamned mooch because you are enabling her by not speaking up......don't lead up to it....don't beat around the bush next time she calls you say right off ''I need money for gas from now on''. .or just say no
I have told her that recently. Sorry if I am whining. I often don't ask for gas money or things like tthat just because that is my personality. It is a point of pride in a sense because I try to do it out of kindness. This works fine for the occasional basis. However, when things are becoming almost expected of me and on a constant basis, then I have to say something. I have said something about gas money, and I will say something about the rest of my issues if things don't improve.
She knows your a nice person and is taking advantage. Most people will understand this and not always be asking you for things. Once you set limits with people like this they usually get board and are not interested in friendship anymore. The relationship is one way and that was how they liked it.
is there a chance she wants to bang you but is terrible at the signals? or is it you that is terrible at picking up on blatant signals
The only thing you need to do is set boundaries. I think it's really nice you are helping her out often, you do not sound that toxic to me. But even though you perhaps have it clear already how it should work, she won't know until you tell her clearly. You sound very reasonable. I'm sure you can bring a good point to her :cheers2:
We have a winner! She is used to getting by in life by putting up a front to gain friends and then milks the fuck out of them. See how often she comes around when you suddenly cant drive her and never have drugs when you're with her. My parents raised me to be conscious of who is providing for me. I used to be generous with everyone I became aquainted with. Now, I know better and only pay for more than my share of something if it is for a friend I know A) Has money to pay it back/return the favor B) Values my friendship enough to pay me back in a timely manner Everyone else can suck a fucking dick. I will not give you even one dollar unless you have something of considerable value that I can hold for collateral.
