A question for married bisexual men

KD23:

Indeed, my block had its own "EWS" ("Early Warning System"), regarding the neighbors calling up each other to put them "on alert", when the "Gee-Hovas" were out and about.

Unless we knew we had company coming, we DID NOT respond to either the doorbell or knocks at the door.....a FOOLPROOF system.....worked EVERY time!

Long ago, when we lived in an apartment building (several blocks away from my present address) the same "EWS" went into effect (via the tenants we knew), keeping the phone lines buzzing.........

 

Honestly, I'd be surprised if she'd be willing to partake in the experience when you know she isn't into you being with a man. But this is the bane of the existence of many a bisexual man who is married. It pays to remember that bisexuality isn't all about what you do and who you do it with; it's also about how you feel and what you think.

 

One particular "burn in hell" moment for me was having a quartet of Witnesses sitting in my living room when one of them said something about and against homosexuality specifically in men and... uncharacteristically of me, I saw red and went off on them.

"I have slept with more men than most women have," I said. "I've sucked their cocks and swallowed their sperm; they've happily fucked me and inseminated me and I've done the same to them but you see me here with my wife - and we've been married for a long time and have been a couple since I was 15 and you have the audacity to come into my home and bash something that you have no clue about and in the presence of a bisexual man at that?"

"See, if you had asked a generic question about my views on homosexuality, we could have had a civil conversation about it but, no - you came out your face with some shit that I knew was bullshit before you were born and, likely, before your parents were born," I continued. My wife just sat there between wanting to start laughing and being shocked at me ripping them a new one. "I'll bet you have no fucking idea why God supposedly said that homosexuality was bad and evil and therefore a sin, do you? Huh? Not so smug and sure in your belief now, are you?"

"I'd bet that you believe that masturbation is a sin, too, huh?" I had pushed. Man, I was in rare form as I stomped all over their beliefs and beat them in the head with some real life, real world shit.

"I think we should be on our way," their lead spokeswoman said. The whole time I'm ranting and raving about having sex, she is looking very uncomfortable, and I still do not believe it was because I was talking about taboo subjects; my wife said later, "I think you made her cum..."

So they grab bibles, pamphlets and Watchtowers and beat feet to the front door and as my wife showed them out, I was still fuming at their gross ignorance of how the world really works. Ten minutes later, one of the guys comes back and asks if I saw his wallet and, sure enough, it was lodged between the sofa cushions... and I became immediately suspicious since I was sure that you'd have to put your wallet there and it just wasn't going to fall out of your pocket and get stuck - and I knew that because I spent a lot of time on that sofa.

"Were you telling the truth about sucking a man's penis?" he asked very quietly.

"I most certainly was," I said. "Why are you asking? Do you want to suck my dick?"

He did. We had a nice long talk before he was on his knees and sucking me like he was an old pro at it. He didn't flinch when I came in his mouth. I watched him for a moment as he swallowed, looked thoughtful for a second or two, then said, "Thank you. It's true that the truth will set you free."

And he left. My wife declared that I was really going to burn in hell for letting that young man blow me and against his faith and I said, "I didn't do anything; I asked a question - a bunch of them, actually, and he made an adult decision. He said that he wanted to know the truth and I showed him the truth."

Then I took her to bed.

 

KD23:

Why is it that the "outCUM" of this story does NOT surprise me in the LEAST?

Anyone else related this story I'd be like, "Yeah, you wish!"

But, with YOU, I've long since been accustomed to hearing "tales stranger than fiction"!

About 40 years ago, I knew a guy at work who was a big-time, die-hard JH; I generally steered clear of him, EXCEPT when I when I wanted to "cruise" his big, beefy, meaty, round, juicy ass!

He was a big barrel-chested guy, and that huge linebacker ass of his fueled too many intense jackoff fantasies to count!

I used to look at him and say to myself, "Give me 20 minutes, big man, and I'll REALLY make you a BELIEVER!"

All kidding aside, if I had a dollar for every discarded "Watchtower" I encountered on the bus or the subway, I'd be pretty damn wealthy today!

One thing that the "Gee-Hovas" have in common with the other "holy roller" fanatics is that you KNOW that most of them are nothing but hypocrites, and are NOT as "holy" as you might first think.

I also recall several born-again Christians where I worked, and it seemed that you could not have a "normal" conversation with any of them, as it seemed they could not go more than three or four sentences without them "switching gears" and launching into full "Jesus" mode.

After awhile, you just KNEW when "early warning signs" were detected, and you got the vibes telling to to give these characters a wide berth..........

 

I have the most luck with men when... I'm not trying or even thinking about having sex with a man. At this moment in my life, I had my wife, a poly wife, and a girlfriend who'd joined us as a poly wife later and between the three of them, I was being sexed fifteen ways to Sunday and between them and my job, I really didn't have a lot of time to have sex with a guy except for the "odd" blowjob here and there... like in this situation. The Witnesses really pissed me off and I had no qualms about "corrupting" one of their number who wanted to know the truth and, really, if you want to suck my dick, give me a reason to tell you not to. After sex with my wife, she did ask, "How do you get guys to give you a blowjob?" and I said, "I wasn't trying to get him to give me one; he came back for his wallet and asked if I was telling the truth and since I figured that he stuffed his wallet in the sofa on purpose, it was an excuse for him to come back... to find out if I was really telling the truth. Do you think I should have turned him down?" but

"No, not really - you just have a knack for getting a blowjob from a guy when it's the last thing you're thinking of," she said. She did ask how he compared to other new guys and I told her that, honestly, I didn't think he was really all that new, like, maybe it was on his mind being a Witness probably made him push such thoughts to the back of his mind until I went off on his partner.

"Maybe he'd been looking for a guy he could suck," I said with a shrug. "Right place, right time and all that."

Most religions and in some way call for followers to forth and spread the word, i.e., convert as many people to our way of believing things as you can and while we enjoy the right to freedom of religion, it's considered bad taste to "beat people over the head" with your religion and, really, don't come a-knocking on my door and wanting to preach some gospel when, um, chances are I might be doing something that definitely ain't according to scripture. As a youth I spent "too much time" going to church services and in Sunday school classes that made me aware that I was hearing the same things over and over - just with someone's different wording. And I never have liked anyone who uses partial bible verses when trying to make a point that, if you read the whole passage, well, it tells a different story than the one verse or two tends to do,
Then these folks like to come to my home to tell me that everything I learned in church wasn't the same thing that they were learning in their church and, yeah, I've heard it all before. You don't have to leave but you can't stay here. And you might want to get in the wind before my other wife gets home because, um, she likes to come home and get fucked, take a shower, and get fucked again and I'm thinking you might not want to be sitting here. Trust me, you really don't but if you do...

Which is why my wife gave me da bizness about messing with the Witnesses and, really, my mother taught me better... but I've seen her take them apart at the seams, too, so...

 

KD23:

EXCELLENT and COMPREHENSIVE response, my "no holes barred" friend, indeed, you have just about done it all (and gave done it WELL, I might add!)

 

I wish I could say that I've just about done it all because I haven't - but I have done a lot being bisexual. The main thing that I had realized a long time ago was that no matter what, I was going to be bisexual until the end and I learned two lessons. The first was if you can do it, then do it and don't regret doing it. The second was just because you can doesn't mean you always have to. I don't know how many sexual opportunities with men and women I've let go past me and have thought, for only a moment, "Yeah... I should have gone with them..." but even when you have a great love of sexual intimacy, being an adult has other priorities that should be taken care of first.

I just don't let too many opportunities get past me. If I can do it, I'm gonna do it because it doesn't make sense not to. I've been lucky to have been involved with more women who didn't give me a raft of shit about my sexuality and related activities than I have those who I had to walk away from even though I loved them or had really deep feelings for them because if you can't accept me as I am - and you expect and demand that I accept you as you are - then something's very wrong and there's no need to take this any further than it's gone already.

Bisexuality opened my eyes to a great many things, and I got to understand sex in ways that, eh, maybe a lot of people don't or don't care to be bothered with understanding past their immediate need and I managed to "be around people" who understood it as well and the sky's the limit so, yeah, if I have the chance to sleep with two other guys and I can do it - and barring those adult priorities - move over, guys - this is about to get interesting! Sleep with a man and a woman? With a husband and wife? Sleeping, living and loving three women at the same time and in that insane but beautiful polyamorous way?

Yep. Been there. Done that. Some things I've done so many times that I've lost count. A lot of things I haven't done, not because I couldn't but usually because (a) I didn't need to, (b) I didn't want to or, (c) no fucking way in hell that I'm doing that. I'm not the "perfect bisexual man" but I don't need to be perfect: I just need to be myself and, importantly to me, not to let anyone stop me from... being me.

 

KD23:

.........................to say that no grass has ever grown under YOUR feet is, indeed, the understatement of the century.........(!!)

 

If grass grows under your feet, you ain't getting laid. He who hesitates is lost... and ain't getting laid. He who procrastinates... ain't getting laid. I don't know about the other guys here, but I have always wanted - needed - to get laid and was bold and daring enough to do whatever had to be done toward that end. Ya might say no to drugs... but ya should say yes to sex; otherwise, you ain't getting laid. If you're relying on a woman to fuck you when you need it, you ain't getting laid and you're gonna get cussed out - is that all you ever think about?

You're damned right it is. Social norms seek to curtail sexual proclivities and shoeboxes sex into the disastrous realm of relationships only and... that shit doesn't work for everyone. I'm not a prude. I have zero shame and zero inhibitions and if you're dealing with these things, you ain't getting laid. Horny but never stupid. Pull your dick out so I can suck it. Baby girl, lift that skirt, take those panties off, and let me eat you for the next hour or more. What's that? You're married? So am I... and aren't married people allowed and supposed to have sex?

If you study long, you ain't getting laid. Opportunity knocks more than once but if you don't answer the door, you ain't getting laid.

 

KD23:

I'm now recalling a (straight) co-worker who couldn't get enough sex; he talked about "getting laid" more than he talked about anything else.

One day, he was REALLY pissing and moaning (I think one of his girlfriends stood him up) "Shit, I wanna get laid!"

So, I just looked at him and said, "Ya wanna get laid so bad, crawl up a chicken's ass and wait!"

BIG explosion of laughter from several of my other co-workers who were on hand!

 

I would have laughed, too - then gone on a head to see about getting laid. I learned that there is such a thing as too much sex when I essentially had three wives who expected me to see to their sexual needs anytime, anywhere, and give no excuses for not being able to perform. Talking about getting laid is one thing; actually getting laid is something else and doesn't need a whole lot of talking about before the fact. A co-worker who knew of my relationship status asked, "Your nights must be a wet dream that other guys have, aren't they?" and I didn't even smile when I replied, "You have no idea; it's my nights and my days and .my weekends and I think they're trying to kill me, to be honest, but, yeah, it is one hell of a way to go."

At lunch that same day, I was in the somewhat posh hotel up the street from the office locked in a 69 with a guy I'd been talking to for a week or so. My co-worker buddy knew about this "date" and asked if it was really necessary and I said, "Sure, because pussy isn't the only thing I need to be sexually happy and, by the way, if you were bisexual, you'd really understand that."
I pulled over so I could give her pussy a good licking because she thought I was kidding when she asked if I'd do such a thing and I told her if she wanted to be eaten, I'd be happy to pull over and eat her.

I could have said, "No, we should wait until we get to the hotel..." but she smiled at me and said, "Pull over..." and I did and I ate her on the side of the road and once we were back on the road again, she said, "You weren't talking shit..." and I said, "Baby, I never do. You wanted to be eaten, and you know I love to eat you and, what, I'm going to tell you no? Not very damned likely..."is

Her mom said to me one time, "You must be hitting her thing good because I haven't seen her this happy in a long-assed time..." and I just smiled and said, "I do my best."

Because at the end of any day, it's all I can do. I like to have sex. Everyone is subject to my three requirements: Be of legal age to have sex; be healthy enough to be having sex; don't be my idea of an asshole or a ****. Meet all three and we can see how much fun we can have together. It's also why I don't have any fantasies; anything I could have fantasized about I either did or I was with a person or persons who said, "Hey, let's try it!" and I'd say, "Okay!" Guilty as fuck of the "crime" of being promiscuous because... it's how you get laid.

A girl once told me, "Don't talk shit about it; do it or get the fuck out of my face!" However, it's not talking shit when you can do it and, you betcha, sweetheart: I do eat pussy.

I'm going to steal that joke, though; I know some guys who need to hear it...

 

KD23:

Am QUITE flattered; let me know how that old joke of mine goes over!

 

Just for a laugh.....

You GOTTA feel sorry for an egg......it only gets laid ONCE, and then, the show's over.......

 

Another question for bisexual married men:

Did you ever think of "coming out" BEFORE the knot was tied, OR, did you believe that you could just "play the field" (discreetly) without the wife being any the wiser?

 

Well if they go out of their way to come to you they deserve what they got coming to them! If anyone's going to hell it's them.

 

I had told my then girlfriend that I was bisexual; I told her that I'd been fucked by guys, I've fucked them and, of course, I sucked dick and guys sucked my dick. So, when we got married, it wasn't like she didn't know she was marrying a bisexual and, besides, I had suspected that she was bisexual despite repeated attempts to deny it and it really came out when she was cheating on me... with a woman I actually went to high school with... and had had sex with. Hmm.

Having said that, I know a lot of guys who thought about telling her before they jumped over the broom... and after careful consideration, decided not to tell her. I know a lot of guys who, after broom jumping and knot tying, told their little woman his secret and... she went nuclear and this is the situation that gives birth to all of the horror stories among married bisexuals and, yeah, this includes bisexual women, too, lest we forget the shit they have to go through because they like girls, too. The choices are: Suppress yourself. Cheat. Try to get permission.

The coming out thing, of course, isn't the "sole property and problem" of married bisexuals: It's the existential bane for anyone who isn't heterosexual. Is honesty the best policy? Does the truth really set you free?

 

KD23:

In such a volatile situation, I think it would br more like:

".....the truth will set all hell free......."

 

That might begin to cover and describe it. I'd had a number of "girlfriends" who excelled at reading me the riot act and verbally castrating me for being a queer, fairy, and fudge-packing faggot and totally - or conveniently - forgetting how I lunched on their pussies and fucked them with unabashed glee. It's also about the time I learned about that goddamned double standard; one of my early girlfriends was openly bisexual and I'd come out to her but she not only bitched me out about it but told me that I couldn't get her in case about sleeping with other girls... because she was allowed to.

Talk about learning about the horrific reality of emotional pain? Having your feelings and heart crushed into paste then put in a blender on puree? And all because I was open as far as having sex was concerned and, yeah, I wasn't supposed to be but the reality of my orientation kinda spoke for itself. I've seen boyfriends/girlfriends get into fights over one of the coming out; I've seen families and marriage badly fall out because of this. And the fucked-up part is that you could explain yourself to someone and the logic of what you're saying makes sense - and they know that it does but will say it doesn't make sense against the emotional response that you wind up getting... and logic, I learned, does not fare well against emotions like the ones that can be demonstrated.

Then having to stay true to myself while knowing how those I cared about felt about my sexuality. Being told that I can't be bisexual if I wanted to be with them when, um, do you know that I can't just turn this off, that I will be this way until the day I die? And how dare you try to tell me that I can't be who I am! That fucking double standard insulted my intelligence.

I'm thinking, GG57, that you know something about this, too. There are other men here who also have some experience with this. It does make you wonder why you decided to get married or when that cute hottie you met - and fucked - says that they'd feel better about having sex with you being in a relationship and, as such, demanding truth and honesty from you when you know what that's likely to get you:

You'll find yourself all by yourself.

 

KD23:

In all honesty, though I (of course) KNEW of masculine bisexual men (most married) when I was still working, I could never equate them with any of the guys I knew on the job; it just never occurred to me that ANY of these "family men" could also be into guys (as there were MORE than a few homophobes where I worked, it's no wonder I thought like this)

Especially when you'd hear a straight guy suggest to his pals on a Friday afternoon, "Let's go up to the Village and bash some fags!" (tell me THAT doesn't make you flinch inside!)

Thankfully, the guys I was "close to" were "open-minded", meaning they could care less that I was a masculine gay man.

To be totally honest with you, it was not until AFTER I had retired (21 years ago) that I DID start to wonder that a few of the "family men" I knew MIGHT have either been bi or bi-curious.

How I REALLY became aware of bi men was when a mini sex magazin hit the stands, "OPTIONS" ("The Only BI-monthly)

This magazine indeed was an eye-opener for me; however, being severely bashed back in 1986 (as you know), I had NO desire to "put out feelers" to see if I could "buddy up" with a like-minded guy.

I just came to the conclusion that it was safer to "stay solo" and not risk a repeat of that horrible day back in '86.

For me, the cons more than outweighed the pros, which is one of the reasons I long ago decided to remain within the "safety zone" that comes with remaining celibate.............

 

Does that make me flinch? No, it doesn't because I tuned out stupid shit like that and I have called the idiots out on saying shit like that - and reminding them that a gay man is still a man so, okay, go fuck with them at your own peril.

Family men, I opined, were more likely to want to have sex with another man than a single guy would - unless the poor guy couldn't even buy some pussy and his only recourse was to be a sub bottom for a power top. Otherwise, well, if you've ever been married and having sex with the same woman year after year, you may start to wonder if there's more to sex than just having it with her and... who doesn't know that guys are world-class cocksuckers? Let's say, to keep from being censored, that I know some stuff about family men and them wanting sex with a guy.

Sitting around shooting the shit with a fellow married man and he says, "Man, wouldn't it be something if a guy wanted to give you a blowjob? I wonder if it's true if guys really do it better than women?" Two things: Is he clumsily trying to hint that he wants us to blow each other or is he genuinely curious? I have said, on such occasions, "Would you like to find out?" and then when they get over being shocked but now they have a tent in their pants, I explain to them that it's not about being gay - it's about sex and getting a blowjob and either you really want one right about now or you don't because, right about now, I wouldn't mind blowing you because since you asked the question, now I'm horny!"

Some have said, "Thanks, but no, thanks..." and that's fine. Some have asked, "Are you serious?" and I have replied, "I never play around when it comes to sucking dick so, yeah, I'm serious. You wanna find out how serious I am? Pull your dick out." Some had been hiding their bisexuality from everyone; some hadn't experienced something like this since they "fooled around" with their best friend and neighbor while some admit that, um, there was this time in college when me and my roommate got buzzed on weed and beer and I wanted to suck his cock and I think he wanted to suck mine... but nothing happped.

Or selling it to the guy who asked, "What if my wife finds out?"

"Well, "Chuck," who's gonna tell her? I'm not going to tell her and the only way she'd find out would be if she walked into my bedroom and caught us in the act - or you go home and ask, "Hey, hon - guess what I did today?" and then you tell her what we did."

What would my wife say? Nothing other than asking me if I had fun.

When you're single, you can find out about cock-loving family men; when you're a cock-loving family man, you can find solace with other family men and there will be single guys looking for a family man "daddy" to have sex with... and this particular cycle of life continues.