A question for bi husbands......

Too bad you lost this guy; appears you really had a "tight" relationship going-one that really bonded you both----hope one day you encounter better luck!

 

I've only been with one guy who loved, cared, and respected me for the person I am; anyone else has been about the sex and I've never had a problem with that since, ums, I'm about the sex more than I am romance. Having said that, I've had nothing but sex with guys who were friends and we respected each other but I wouldn't say that we "cared" for each other and in that emotional, relationship sense. Let's not complicate this any more than it already is and enjoy each other's company and should we have sex, well, nothing wrong with a blowjob, is there?

How would they view me? I dunno; they'd know that I'm genuine and for-real and that I love the sex; I think they'd respect me but not sure about them caring about me - and not that I care about them caring; if they do, they do and if not, I'm not trying to be their boyfriend or be in a relationship that's going to be more than being friends and who have a passing interest in sucking each other's dicks.

I'd be an idiot if I depended on my wife for emotional support and a single source at that. I have too many people I consider to be just as close to me that if I needed support, they'd gladly give it where my wife wouldn't give a fuck how I was doing emotionally. My male friends... gives me good head and I give them equally (or better) good head and we understand each other and, well, we're just very good friends.

 

Papa: Yet another sad scenario-courtesy of a steadfastly bigoted society; why can't people just be what they ARE-without fear of backlash-outing-or worse--------dang pathetic-good friend-----------

 

Since the first day! Yes.

 

Your desires (lusts?) are to be fullfilled and ENJOYED----that is-------if "clear signals" are ahead and you need not fear any sort of backlash or reprucussions----------ENJOY what YOU enjoy!

 

I think for an awful lot of us this part of our lives will always be complicated. I have always had an attraction towards men sexually. Even as a young married man who was getting regular sex with his wife I still had a desire to suck a man off. Fast forward, my wife is no longer interested in sex and has stated “I don’t want to know how you solve this.” I’m a certain she either thinks it’s through masturbation or I see a woman on the side. She has no idea I would ever entertain let alone follow through with the notion of having sex with a man. And I also know she would not be able to accept it. It would destroy our marriage.
I value our marriage, I love her, not because she was once very good in the sack, but as a person she is wonderful. It’s not her fault biology has dealt her this hand. Not anymore than it’s not my fault I still have a very active sex drive.
I won’t let this be the thing that destroys our marriage. So I am very discreet and private about my sexuality and how I practice it.
I still crave sex when I haven’t t had any in a while. For years I would resent her for not providing it. I didn’t like caring that resentment around. But I didn’t know how to deal with it. She wasn’t going to miraculously start wanting sex. It’s not going to happen.
I find in seeing men for uncomplicated sex I get the sexual release I need and I don’t carry resentment around for her. The rest of our marriage is unaffected by it. Is it a perfect solution? No, far from it. But my options are very limited. It’s simply the best I can come up with.

 

Well said!

 

I totally get this, and I would really like to find that person to fulfill my urge. Happily married, check. And I wouldn't do anything to risk that. I am looking at this point in my life for a guy to hang out with, I do think my wife would be okay with it, as long as I was safe. She is aware of my history and my desires, although not frequently talked about. I do find myself attracted to some men, not many, my attraction lies mostly in the sex and a good looking unit. Porn for me has always, since a young man been more focused on the guys, than the gals. Not sure why, just the way it was and is.

 

I indeed would say that those guys you enjoy watching in those porn flicks went to "great lengths" to really get you turned on!