A question for bi husbands......

EXCELLENT "thesis"-------you-indeed-should be teaching a college course: "BI-ology 101"

 

Hey KDaddy23,
I have read a few of your posts and very much appreciate your take on things. Your clear and concise writing is refreshing to read.

I am brand new to this forum and would be interested in your take on my personal experiences.

Many years ago (almost 27 now) I found myself sitting naked in a hot tub with one of my best friends. Up to this moment I honestly never had a sexual thought involving men. I was 32 years old.

The hot tub was very isolated which is probably why we didn't have our suits on.

Not long after we got in I was certain he had an erection but couldn't tell for sure. The jets were on and it was difficult to see under the water. The more I thought about it the more I wanted to find out for sure and, as a result, the more turned on I became.

My heart was seriously pounding in my chest when I finally got up the nerve to ask him if he was hard.

His response sealed the deal. He said he wasn't but if I kept talking about it he would be.

I have absolutely no idea why I did this but I asked if he would have a problem with masturbating right then and there. He said he didn't and wanted to know if he could join me. It was an incredibly surreal (and hot) moment.

We ended up masturbating in front of each other and even gathered up the nerve to touch each other (and for a very quick moment...and suck on each other ... We both enjoyed the feeling) before we went back to jerking off. We both agreed to finish ourselves off. I think we didn't want to go too far past the line. We were both newly married and still are.

Yeah...it was hot!

When I joined my wife in bed that night I laid there and couldn't stop reliving that moment. My wife was awake, and to keep a very long story short so I can get on with my questions, I told her what happened.

She was so incredibly turned on and for the next half hour or so I brought her to orgasm after orgasm. It was an incredible night.

My wonderful and beautiful and amazing wife was, and still is, ok with what happened.

Since that day neither my friend or I have ever had any other experience outside of our marriages. It doesn't interest us.

There are many aspects to this story that would take a long time to explain but basically since then my friend and I have continued on with a relationship that involves emails in the beginning and then texts and the occasional "hook up" where we would jerk off ourselves and/or each other and just explore. We have had several showers together over the years but have never taken it further. He enjoys having me in his mouth and I enjoy bum play.

The four of us are very good friends and my friend and I don't always "do things" when we do get together. He and his wife are among our best friends. She knows what we have done and and is good with it. In fact several years ago we had a few experiences with a threesome (nothing serious) where I actually video taped them getting it on

Once again...very hot.

And now getting to my question or questions for you or anyone else who cares to comment on.

Looking at the spectrum of sexual preferences I consider myself mostly heterosexual but have had these wonderful experiences with my friend. We have no intention of ever stopping and we both agree that neither of us are attracted to other men.

To be honest I'm not even really "attracted" to him but thoroughly enjoy what we do. He feels the same. We are still the best of friends. We have no interest in doing this with any other men. I love him as a friend but have no romantic feelings for him.

We have a plan to go to the next level soon as we both agree that it is about time. I very much want to feel what it would be like to be on the receiving end of anal sex and he wants to finally perform oral sex on me and finish it "properly". His words ...
Not mine..He wants to swallow.

I feel strongly that a blowjob is a blowjob regardless of where I finish. It was almost 30 years before my wife finally swallowed and it was absolutely amazing but she only does it when she feels like it.

Every time she takes me in her mouth I love it and appreciate it. Whether or not I finish in her mouth or not doesn't change how awesome it was. She plays with my anus alot but never penetrate me. I am actually good with it since all of the nerve endings are on the outside

My friend and are in agreement that if our wives ever said we can't do this anymore we would and could stop. My wife and I have a pretty good sex life but an amazing intimate life and I never want to ruin that.

So as a human with our need to constantly label things does this make us bisexual or is there some other label that we can apply to ourselves?

We are both very comfortable with both aspects of our relationship. Physical and non physical.

We have discussed it over the years and we both feel strongly that we aren't alone. There are most likely too many frustrated people out there that are locked into a way of life and the only way to experience these things is to lie to themselves and their partners.

Admittedly we most likely are unique in that our partners continue to be understanding but I also feel that truly being open and honest can solve a lot of the problems in this world but that is an entirely different discussion for a different forum

Any thoughts or comments or questions would be appreciated

 

I have devoted my life to learning everything I can about being bisexual and I've learned some stuff and still learning stuff. I had a gazillion questions about this kind of sex and every time I answered one question, another question would appear, oh, like, why is Mr. Earl married to Miss. Grace... but I'm sucking his dick every other day and last week he stuffed his dick in my ass and fucked me which was fine... but he's married, Miss Grace is a nice-looking woman so why isn't he fucking her? And I would eventually ask enough questions and find enough answers and... this shit is seriously deep but not that hard to understand. Or why does Mr. Jimmy like sucking my dick and wants me to fuck him? Is he one of those pedophiles other adults were talking about? Well, no - but like so many other married adults, they're not beyond taking advantage of a situation and especially when many of the adult males I grew up around knew that they could have sex with me... and I wanted to know why, not that I was complaining about it. I learned so much about men and the things they'll do when they can't have sex and young boys, historically, were always a favorite - and learning that our "civilized asses" act all prudish and like none of that happened or we assume that if I'm sucking Mr. Earl's dick, he not only made me to do but now I'm traumatized for life.

Yeah, no, I wasn't, and no one forced me to have sex with them, well, um, except Glenda Jackson, who threatened to beat me up if I didn't do it to her - but I digress. I was "too mature for my age" and too smart for my own good and adults would admonish me not to grow up too fast but once you get exposed to sex, you can't help but to grow up fast and I had questions that needed to be answered. I read everything I could get my hands on; I talked to boys/men everywhere I'd go and a lot of them were just like me - bisexual - but they didn't know why; they just knew that they liked having sex with men and, sometimes, more than they did with women... and I wanted to know why and they did, too.

I probably could teach a college-level class in this...

 

Hmm... would I say that you're heterosexual? I wouldn't because I learned that it's not what you do or how infrequently you do it; if you do it more than once or twice, almost everyone would say that you were bi. You're lucky that you guys have wives who are understanding and they know that what the two of you have been doing has nothing to do with how you feel about them and all that good stuff - you're just boys being boys. Having said this, no - if you don't feel or believe that you're bisexual, then you don't have to apply the label to yourself if it makes you uncomfortable. Are there other labels? Yes, like hetero- or homoflexible or phrases like "bi with the right person" or "socially bi" and people who feel that "bisexual" doesn't apply to them even though, as I like to say, they quack like a duck but try to convince people that they're not that duck.

If the shoe fits, wear it and do so without any shame, guilt, or misgivings. Sadly, there are so many people in relationships/marriages to people who don't believe that men should have sex with each other and, besides, the rules of monogamy and being married says that all you will ever need is the person you're with... and it's been proven to be 100% unrealistic because if this were true, infidelity would never happen and the US wouldn't lead the world in divorces. I'd say that you and your friend have a good thing going so revel in it; if your wives say it has to stop, and you guys are okay with stopping, it's all good but it doesn't sound like to me that they're going to make you stop.

At the end of the day, it's really just sex, isn't it? A blowjob is a blowjob and no matter who's doing it and guys are very much into prostate massage, which is being said to be good for a healthy prostate and, um, a hard dick works toward such a goal, too. It all means... whatever the two of you says it means. Are you guys bi? I'd say you are. I will never say that I'm anything other than bisexual but, then again, I have no reason to be squeamish or fearful of the word because I embody the definition because I do have a physical and/or emotional affinity for both men and women; both sexes and never, ever gender because gender is irrelevant to sexuality.

You keep your own council on your sexuality. If you think you're still straight, then you are and what you and your friend have been up to all this time... is really just sex.

 

We have said that countless times. It's just sex.

My wife trusts me and our friends implicitly and so we know we are in a safe place both physically and emotionally.

And yes ... You are correct. It is easy to say that we would stop if either of our wives said we had to knowing full well that they won't but part of why we are so comfortable with our special relationship is knowing that they know.

I am now at the age where I really don't care what people think but also fully understand that we could possibly make some people in our lives very uncomfortable if they ever found out so we are comfortably quiet about it. No one else needs to know. Forums like these help to be able to talk without judgement.

One of my outlets is I enjoy writing erotic stories on Literotica. The process helps me relive past experiences and plan for future ones.

I am sure someone could come up with a pronoun for us but in the end it really doesn't matter. I just wanted to let you know that your comments are appreciated and maybe find out how many others are like us. In a healthy and happy (married) relationship with a partner who is also my number one best friend and in a relationship with a best friend who I occasionally have fun with.

Thanks again for your comments and if anyone else has similar experiences I would love to hear about them.

 

KDaddy23 has been indeed a true font of knowledge and experiences here regarding the bi lifestyle; he "tells it like it is" and has no shortage of sharing with us "food for thought"; yours truly has little doubt his posts not only educate-but also-entertain! "Experience" has surely educated this interesting fellow in QUITE a few different ways! Thanks KDaddy23

 

Recall-years ago-a certain Lorena Bobbett------and a new use she found for a knife (or course-this was NO laughing situation-for certain; but-had her hubby been bisexual----and she then retaliated with said kitchen utensil----it would stand to reason that it would echo a classic Broadway show and flick-"BI BI BIRDIE!" Seriously speaking-one cannot help but wonder just how a wife wouldwill react-if she finds out that her husband is bisexual----------these days-----you cannot be sure how ANYONE will react----------and that is NO joke--------------

 

Being a bisexual guy with a wife and kids is a HUGE issue to all; husband/wife/kids------the potential is there for pretty toxic fallout if the wife and kids cannot accept hubby's/dad's sexuality The bi guy with an understanding wife and kids is indeed one of the lucky ones-------

 

Quick question: When bi guys are watching either straight or bi porn-and you are already feeling "frisky" towards getting it on with another guy-do you find yourself putting your attention on the GUYS in the flick and not really focusing on the ladies?

 

Oh yes! I find myself focused on the guys all the time

 

I hear ya guy!

 

I'd watch everyone in the porno... because I am bisexual, after all.

 

In this case-your eyes are on ALL players "out on the field"!

 

Again, I'm bisexual - why wouldn't my eyes be on all the players? Like, I know a lot of guys who'll tell you that they're paying attention to the woman when they're really watching that big dick in her pussy and they keep watching so they can see him give up the money shot and cumming all over her...

 

Totally Agree

 

I like it

 

both .. being bi

 

My undies are gettin wet

 

I was with one guy for three years who became a friend and a lover. We developed an emotional attachment. We not only had hot sex, but talk. We actually fell in love. He was the only one I even considered leaving my wife for. We even talked about where and how we would live together. Unfortunately it ended. I still miss him