A pissed off fed up rant

RE: i don't think it's an insult to refer to someone as gay either, if they are. the insult i was referring to was when you said "did you fail hooked on Phonics?"

Well, er, if he had physical ailments they'd manifest no matter what he was doing.... the truth is he's in VERY DEEP DENIAL.

RE: and as i said before, if you really care for someone you don't jump to conclusions and kick them to the curb. the words 'with a woman' you keep emphasizing may not even have been his exact words.

Well, let's ask the OP.

RE: even if they were, you may be reading too much into it. imho IF she has no other 'evidence' that he may be gay, and IF she really cares about him as she stated, and IF the pain he is talking about is physical, she will encourage him to get checked out by a urologist to rule out physical causes of pain.

If he says it only happens with women, then that's a major clue. At the very least "but not with you" but more probably he's swimming for the other team.

RE: unless your value system is that a lover who doesn't get you off everytime you want should be kicked to the curb immediately and/or that one should always

If she is a female and he's gay, what hope is there for the relationship?

RE: immediately suspect someone of being gay when they say they experience physical pain during intercourse that is.

I'd say if the guy talks of pain ONLY WHEN it's with a WOMAN, this is a VERY BIG CLUE.

RE: meanwhile, you might want to consider a debate class where they will teach you to make rational arguments without throwing mud.

Maybe you need to learn to pick up on GIGANTIC CLUES the guy is tossing her way.

 

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I really don't think he's gay because he has loads of gay mates,girls and guys and he's totally comfortable with it.I actually did ask him once but he told me that thinking about guys in an erotic way did nothing for him.Thank you for the health advice as well, I've tried to encourage him to at least get an exam for it and he refuses because he's scared. It's not even that I need the sex,I've been celibate almost as long as he has,I just really wanted to share that experience with him.Thanks for your help you guys,I don't want to break up with him,it's killing me but he's given me no other alternative.

 

Marquise:

Er, then none of this adds up.

He's either lying to you or to himself about something.

Believe me, if I was having that kind of problem I'd be down the quack's faster than you can say "fix this I have a date Friday night".

 

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im no homophobe, i mean, we own a coffe shop for god sake, and gay people come in ALL the time. But i will tell you this... since ure all into protecting him skeeter, and saying we mite be gay ourselves... its probably the inner you tryin to come out

 

Let's assume, for the sake of this discussion, that the dude is, at the very least, bisexual. Has the thought ever entered your brain that he could be having pain while having intercourse with a guy as well as with a girl?


Unless you know for sure that he's not suffering some kind of physical condition that makes sexual intercourse painful for him, THERE'S NO WAY YOU CAN KNOW FOR CERTAIN THAT THE DUDE IS EITHER GAY OR BISEXUAL UNTIL HE COMES OUT OF THE CLOSET, got it?

I've been out of the closet myself for almost 30 years -- the last 12 years as bisexual. Yet even after all these years, my own, VERY well-honed "gaydar" can still sometimes be fooled.

And so can yours -- assuming that you have one.

-- Skeeter

 

I doubt he's gay. Having sex with men,is not the only alternative to having sex with women. Maybe the guy masturbates?! He has pain during sex with women...but not when he masturbates.

I'm not saying he can't be gay,but that's not the only conclusion to jump on by far.