I have a problem. I think. I'm straight. When I go out, I want to pick up girls. I love the smell and taste and look and feel of girls. All the time. But I fantasize about getting fucked and look at gay porn, etc etc My fantasies turned to reality and I found two gay men who are married and love to fuck me. I like it, in a way. But I'm continuously scared and hesitant about going to their place. Am I just being weird about it, or am I letting fantasies be in control making me do something I'm not really into? I'm very confused about this.
Oh, I know. I have no illusions that I'm 100% straight. Obviously. I've had sex with men. My issue is that I'm attracted to women and that attraction keeps me from being comfortable with the gay side of me. I really DO like having sex with these men. But I always resist it because some part of me stops me from going over there. Also, drugs really help me get in the mood and I'm wondering what's up with that. Why do I need to sniff coke to want to do something that excites me anyway?
So your Bi or straight with bi tendencies if you prefer that. Honestly I think the use of drugs, is a way for you to throw away the responsabillity of you having sex with men, so that when you question yourself about it or if someone you know and you don't want to know about this side of you finds out, you can always blame it on the drugs.....Hope that made sense
