29 & Never Dated

By all means, correct me if I am wrong but from the sounds of things, you have been worrying and stressing about this issue for a very long time (at least since middle school). You gotta get that out of your system. The more you stress and the more you worry, the harder it will be to relax about being with someone (and being around someone).

 

On dating sites? Literally nothing. Sometimes a response or 2, then nothing.

Yes you are right. I feel like I have to worry about it b/c if I don't, well, it's just not going to happen so I have to put effort into it.

 

Well, depending on how much money you're willing to spend on it, I'd say let's try a couple at a time.

You'll get there, man. There is hope!

 

Cliché alert but something's you can't force and you just have to let things come naturally. Don't overthink and over compensate. Don't think dating someone. Just think about getting to know someone first. If you get to do that, then things may progress... Then you think of the next step...

I'll tell you a story not relating to dating...

I used to work for large car sales firm and I was one of the senior sales consultants there. They hired a new guy straight out of college and straight through the door he was instantly disliked. Why? Not because he was a bad kid, only he was over compensating. Everyone he saw, he would be fist pumping, shaking hands, weird hugging, "Hey Bro"s and winks. Every. Time. Customers hated him too because is so much desperation to make his mark, he would be hard selling and in their faces and he sold nothing. This went on a while until I took him aside and told him what no-one else would (at this point most were just avoiding him). The truth. Once this hit home, the change was remarkable. He chilled out a bit, watched (and learned) and slowly he grew.

He ended up a decent salesperson and a liked member of the team. It also gave him more confidence in his every day life also. Sometimes you just need to step back to move forward.

 

When do you guys think I should start worrying?

 

Don't you have many years yet. xxxx

 

About 12 years ago

 

"Super inspirational" is a guy with no legs having to crawl 10 miles each day for his cancer treatment......someone on an internet messageboard trying to claim credit for a co-worker gaining experience over time, not so much

 

I messaged a bunch of women on dating sites yesterday & nothing

 

Yeah, sometimes they don't have their phone alert enabled, or they're on assignment with work and can't pick up the phone. You're on the right path; I can almost guarantee it. That's how you do it.

Happy hunting.

 

Give them a chance. X

 

They rarely respond. When they do, it lasts a couple messages & then nothing.

You would think stable career helps, I was always told it would, but it doesn't seem to. Living in a highly developed country, guys w/ career stability are just a dime a dozen.

 

Oh I am sure all will turn out well. xxx

 

It's demoralizing. I feel I'm wasting my life

 

Sorry that you're going through this @DragonFox91

Dating and relationships don't have to be at the core of your life. Beyond that, the kind of worry and stress that you are experiencing aren't really helping you.

You may want to try focusing on your health. This link has some info about some ways to improve health

Self-Treatment Methods for Physical and Mental Health

A lot of men these days ejaculate very frequently through masturbating to porn. From the perspective of traditional Chinese medicine, this is very bad for a man's health. A man in good health should only ejaculate no more than once every three days. In some cases, waiting a week is even better.

If your health is strong, your libido will tend to be strong, and if your libido is strong it will tend to magnetize you toward women, and magnetize them to you.

I think there are some books on flirting. You may want to try reading one and honing your skills.

Having any form of social connections may help you to find a partner. Once you get to know one person, they can help you to connect to other people.

Most places are closed due to C19, but you might want to try getting a massage from a woman, just for the experience of it.

If you go to a strip club (during daytime hours), you might be able to gain some experience and comfort with talking to women (you need to be careful in how you handle some strippers though).

Like I said though, romantic relationships don't have to be at the core of your life. I'd advise trying to find a relationship if you really want one, but ultimately being able to accept whatever the outcome is.

Wishing you good things

 

What's wrong?

 

I agree. X

 

Today is awful. I hate this so much. Nothing changes. Every time I meet someone, go to social events, meet friends of friends, it's always a dead-end & ends up feeling like a total waste of time & like I'm spinning my wheels. How can it be this hopeless? I frankly get sick of people saying I don't try or don't meet people b/c I do. I'm 29, college degree, great resume, fine job, good friendships, meet people, talk to people, take the initiative, have met w/ shrinks, to say I don't try or do anything about it is insulting.

I meet women. There's never a spark. It never goes anywhere. Basic intro-type conversations when you're first meeting someone I have w/ them, it just ends. Not sure where the disconnect is? I can get sparks w/ guys pretty easy, have good conversations, etc. Getting friendships w/ guys is pretty easy! I know I don't make great first impressions, but not sure why guys can overlook my short-comings when first meeting why girls are just done w/ me after? Why one can't give me an exception? & then another guy swoops in & can generate a spark & then it's over! Just like that. & then you see them again & they're a couple overnight! Again & again. & it's not just an attraction thing either. It's the same w/ women I'm not even attracted to.

This really shouldn't be that challenging.

Same crap different day.