29 & Never Dated

I am 29 & never dated. I have always wanted GF but fail every time. Does anyone have any advice or can offer insight? It hurts. Today I feel like crying.

Thx

 

Be yourself. Make girls laugh.
That attracts many and breaks down barriers.

 

I try that. It doesnt work

 

How many times have you tried?

 

I can never generate a spark

 

^ I just figured out why you fail everytime.

Wish you the best of luck

 

The dating game is difficult! The only real advice to give, aside from the usual 'be yourself' quotes (which is very good advice btw), is don't try too hard. Sometimes, when we overthink things and try to over compensate (in things like trying to be charming, trying to be friendly, trying to be funny, confident etc) we just come across as trying too hard (or maybe desperate! Sorry, just speaking the truth!).

Ignore everything else and if you can make someone feel comfortable in your company then you are half way there.

Good luck!

 

Thanks for the nice reply. Unfortunately I've been stuck working from home due to the pandemic since March & will go to at least March 2021. There were a couple girls in another department I wanted to try to get to know but the pandemic blocked that.

I went to MeetUp groups a few times over the summer. They were meeting outside thankfully. Unfortunately the Groups I went to (a couple just a talk till you drop) were male-dominated, (8-9 guys to 2-3 girls per group) & the 2 or 3 girls at each group were queer or in relationships. I stopped going. Thinking of trying different groups & maybe my luck will change, but not sure how they'll be meeting here in the winter & things closed.

Dating sites are all but useless for me. Rarely get responses & when I do it, it doesn't last more then a couple messages.

My friends are of little help & just offer the same - sorry in advance, Candy - 'just make them laugh' advice that proves easier said then done.

 

I will teach you how to make girls laugh.
Later. X

 

I don't have an issue with that... I just drop my pants and they usually crease up laughing!

 

Must be those beef patties you hide in them. Lol

 

Well seems to be a joke. Not surprised. It's never taken serious. Even shrinks I go to just laugh it off & say 'come back when you're 50.'

 

Oh stop the nonsense.
You are going to be fine. X
Just don't read any of Grandeur thread. Lol

 

Yea.

Make a profile on a dating site. There's a million of them! Pick your favorite, and take some pics - nothing nasty, just your headshots and maybe some that show your figure - from the waist up, or possibly standing fully clothed.

Once you have the pictures, it's pretty easy. You add them/upload them, and create your description/fill in your interests. The rest is cut and dried - you can reach out, or wait for someone to pick you out of the line-up. I think that's how it works anyway...

There's a fee for the good ones I'm pretty sure, but it puts you in the dating pool.

Obviously you have to be careful. There are catfish, or worse, thieves and rampant identity theft. But I think you'll do ok if put a little effort behind it!

 

My bad. Of course we take this thread seriously, I just though I'd lighten the mood a bit (misjudgingly, is that even a word?) by showing a bit of self deprecating humour. Don't take things so seriously!

 

You are fine.
I understand. I am sure we all did. X

 

It's okay people. I've just had situations in the past where it's not taken serious or I'm laughed at so just got concerned it was a repeat.

It was 'oh don't worry in middle school you'll get one.' Then it became 'oh don't worry in high school you'll get one.' Then it became 'oh don't worry in college you'll get one.' Then it became 'oh don't worry in your career you'll get one.' I'm doubting.

Grandeur thread?

I try that & nothing

 

It's a proactive process.

Do you mean people are just ghosting you when you ask, or... Just nothing? What happens, literally?

What if you adjusted your approach? Like for example, what are you wearing in your photos? If you're too casual in a photo, for example, it might suggest that you would not be willing to dress up for a date; or even know what to do...

I think it's a technicality more than anything. You'll find a date, you just have to try. It doesn't want to fall into your lap? That's ok... that's not everybody's bag. Just make an effort. You'll start to feel good about it.


I think another mistake people often make is thinking it's going to be about kissing or anything beyond just idle banter... It's really just about getting to know someone. And if it goes somewhere, cool! If not, bah... LOL. At least you tried.