Hey Guys! I've been a peruser of these forums for a year or so and felt the need to join up and express myself in a safe place. I would love some advice or even just to hear from anyone who may be able to relate to my situation. Basically, I'm 24, still a virgin, and go through phases of being positive that I'm into women and then phases of denial. Any phase can last for as little as a week or long as a year. I'm an actress/comedian and I'd consider myself an extrovert. I love to socialise and I'm confident. I'm also attractive and I get male attention that I have never reciprocated. I'm not sure what I'd consider myself... definitely not femme but definitely not butch. I guess I'm kind of athletic body type wise. Put it this way, I'm definitely not 'clearly' a lesbian. This frustrates me, but I know that's a problem of my own. I need to conjure the confidence to approach a girl myself, without taking the backseat and waiting for it to happen to me.... although it's a lovely thought to entertain. I know I am definitely not comfortable with my sexuality. A girlfriend of mine actually said to me recently that she's never heard me say a single thing about a guy. I brushed it off. I remember being intrigued by my female teacher when I was about 6 and I always thought about her. The same happened with my grade 6 teacher. Then when I was 14 I had a friend from school over for a sleepover and much to my surprise, she started to feel me up and we ended up fingering each other (she was simply exploring, she has only had male partners to this day). I stayed at her place on another occasion and the same happened again. That was 10 years ago and the first and only experience I've had with a girl. The only 'sexual' experience I've had with a male was about 2 years ago after going on a 'date' and this guy dropped me off at home and kissed me. I wasn't interested and did not enjoy the kiss. The confusing part is the shame which comes with all of this. I think that's why I go back and fourth with my perception of my sexuality. I'm sure the shame comes from childhood abuse, which I can hardly bare to allow into my conscious thoughts. I feel anxiety creeping up simply at the thought of clicking post on this thread. I want nothing more than to be comfortable with myself and be able to go to a bar and flirt with a girl and feel a real emotional connection. I am actually just now realizing that I block out sexuality entirely. I think this is to spare my sanity. Truthfully, sometimes when I think about sex with either a woman or man, I feel physically ill. This, I can not think of a reason for... Can anyone relate to these feelings? I fear that staying this way will result in deep depression. I am comfortable with myself in every other aspect of my life. Thanks for listening, ladies. Looking forward to hearing your thoughts Clare.