2 line poem challenge

Sorry Mr. Claus, the Mayans have fucked you over
The end of the world is nearer than we know it

But just in case, still fill up your sleigh...

 

But just in case, still fill up your sleigh
with loadsa cool stuff for us to play

and tell the mayans to find another game to play

 

and tell the mayans to find another game to play
and another elf to mess with any way

cause to paraphrase the Duke 'ya best not mess with this fat old elf'

 

cause to paraphrase the Duke'ya best not mess with this fat old elf'
so ye better all behave ye'reselves

and rudolf throws a great two left hooks

 

and rudolf throws a great two left hooks
They were actually pretty shit cos all he does is read books

That's the main reason the others took the piss out of him so

 

That's the main reason the others took the piss out of him so
a helicopter for santa is lookin pretty good

along comes mrs clause and boy is she mad

 

along comes mrs clause and boy is she mad
santa why the fuck do you want to do something so bad?

you know that flying scares the fuck out of you

 

you know that flying scares the fuck out of you
and why a christmas present to our neighbor the jew?

the threads almost gone and i couldnt be happier
it just keeps getting sappier and sappier

cant wait to drink all of my sisters beer

 

cant wait to drink all of my sisters beer
and wish all and sundry lots of good cheer

it's such a shame that it won't be reciprocated

 

it's such a shame that it won't be reciprocated
but we'll keep it simple and not complicate it

santas coming very soon

 

santas coming very soon
bring to all good girls and boys a boon

in just a day or three gifts gayly wrapped under the tree

 

in just a day or three gifts gayly wrapped under a tree
and rudolf has gave up his strike

so he's happy ta pull the sleigh

 

so he's happy ta pull the sleigh
load in the presents and up and away

an early run to distribute the first load...

 

an early run to distribute the first load
and millions more along the road

i wonder what santa will get for christmas

 

i wonder what santa will get for christmas
i'm certain it'll be grand for mrs santa is a canny knowin' lass

or so the elves all say

 

or so the elves all say
when they go out to play

hip hip hurrah! santas on the way.:window:

 

hip hip hurrah! santas on the way.
all the reindeer have lifted the sleigh

and santa's merry ho ho ho rings clear....

 

and santa's merry ho ho ho rings clear
and loud from all around


hope he don't get stuck up the chimney

 

hope he don't get stuck up the chimney
just have to hope he ain't caught trying doin' b&e usin a jimmny

them new apartment things got no hearth

 

them new apartment things got no hearth
and big fat santa with a 60 inch girth

mall santa mall santa...with breath so bad