???

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by stephanie8188421, Jun 24, 2006.

  1. ok just got out of a relationship of 5yrs, he needs he space, but wont talk to me, why is he saving my messages then???? please i need answers!!!
     
  2. Alternative_Thinker

    Alternative_Thinker Darth Mysterious

    Umm... Before anything, I personally think a bit of elaboration wouldn't hurt..

    Like, so far we know your relationship is over now. We also know he needs his space. The part that confuses me is the following:

    Could you be a little more clear on that?

    Cheers!
     
  3. ihmurria

    ihmurria fini

    he needs space from your physical person to get over the relationship
    when he's over ya'll, he can delete your email's etc
    (or else he just hasn't gotten to deleting/throwing out everything)

    How do you know he's saving your messages? Unless he's specifically told you, it's no wonder that he's telling you he needs more space
     
  4. TheMechanic

    TheMechanic The chicken LUVER!

    I had a problem like this with an ex... she thought because I told her I needed space that meant I was breaking up with her, it didnt.

    Maybe he means the same thing? If not, then as was said by ihmurria maybe he needs the space to get over you...

    can/will you elaborate?
     
  5. kissya

    kissya Head Mistress

    yes, we need more info...please.
     
  6. ok, we broke up because his needed space and wanted to see what else is out there before he settles down...which hurts but were both going out and doing our thing, but for some reason he doesnt want to talk to me or see me ,he doesnt think its a good idea right now...why!!!!! ok so i get drunk, and drunk dile him late at night, and leave him messages telling him i miss him,etc. i have his password to his voicemail.. he has mine too. so one day i listened , and he had 2 saved messages on there from me?? why is he saving my messages if he wont talk to me???? i miss him like crazy!!!! its like i go out there and talk to other guys, and they arent no where better than him, now i gota wait for him to realize it!!!:(
     
  7. i think you should just give him time. he'll come around if he misses you, and he knows that you miss him, so there's nothing you can say that will make him change his mind. he just needs to figure things out on his own as well. he probably doesn't think it's a good idea to see you because he wants to see how things would be like without you. i know that sounds harsh but that's what i think he's doing.
     
  8. Alternative_Thinker

    Alternative_Thinker Darth Mysterious

    Well, he doesn't think it isn't a good idea to see you or talk to you BECAUSE he needs some space. When somebody says she/he needs some space, that's often what it's all about: to take a break from you.

    As for his saving messages from you... Here's a question for you; why can he NOT save them? Maybe he wants to save them so he could listen to them at a later time and know exactly what to say when he IS actually ready to talk to you.

    That's my take on it, anyway. Be patient. ;)

    All the best ~
     
  9. i hate the fact that he can play it off that he doesnt care or it doesnt bother him!! its so much easier for him to keep busy!! i hate that he can play hard to get!! urr that makes me so mad, but i love him more than anything, so i let him go for now..maybe thats why he let me go too??? i duno anymore! he wont talk to me, that hurts the most, i can understand not seeing me, but going from being with eachother everyday to nothing, it kills me.. i would talk to him in a heartbeat! but he wont talk to me tho??? im so hurt:(
     
  10. Alternative_Thinker

    Alternative_Thinker Darth Mysterious

    Yes, it DOES hurt, doesn't it? But one thing I've learned is that, sometimes such hiatus is necessary in order to determine whether or not the relationship is really, REALLY worth it. You have to be patient.
     
  11. dawn_sky

    dawn_sky Senior Member

    Two possibilities spring to mind:

    1. He is saving them in case he needs evidence to get a restraining order against you. The fact that you're breaking into his voicemail should add to the validity of that.

    2. On my phone, if I listen to a message, but don't actively erase the message before I hang up (which I do amazingly often), my voicemail automatically saves the message. It doesn't mean that I care about that message. It just means that, while I was listening, a friend walked up, so I just hung up since the vmail wasn't important.

    Seriously, he wants space, give him space. That is generally male-speak for "I want to break up with you but I don't have the balls to tell you that, so just saying I need space sounds less harsh". That whole, "it's not you, it's me" -- yeah, it's me not liking you anymore!

    I may sound like a bitch, but I've had ex-bfs act like you. They fucking scared me. It's not cool. It's not going to get him back. If anything, it's going to kill any chance you have left with him.

    Erase him from your phonebook, block your phone from being able to call him, whatever you have to do, stop calling until he calls you.
     
  12. actually he saved the message, i know what u mean when u say if u dont delete the message it just stays on ur voicemail, but he actually saved it. but anyways that doesnt matter, the point that im tryin to get to is, why would he save it if he doesnt want to even talk to me?? like everyone said, i got to be patient and wait..so far its been 3 months of hell!~
     
  13. Alternative_Thinker

    Alternative_Thinker Darth Mysterious

    That's generalizing TOO much..... But I'll let it slide....
     
  14. Alternative_Thinker

    Alternative_Thinker Darth Mysterious

    So that brings us back to the question of, "why can he NOT save them??" He's perfectly free to do so. Let him be in the meantime.
     

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