YOU ARE SO LUCKY! I give people coconuts to help them on their journey to the moon, so I can give you one.
It's ok! Crisis over! I found my coconut! It was sitting on the couch watching There's Something About Miriam. .... dubious coconut.... Thanks for the support and words of advice. It was very possibly the toughest fifteen minutes of my life to date...
and think of all the amazing things you can do with coconuts, a la gilligan's island. the most obvious once i know are bowling ball and weapon...