100 word description. Opinions, feedback, impressions appreciated...

Discussion in 'Writers Forum' started by Driftrue, Jun 19, 2019.

  1. Driftrue

    Driftrue Banned

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    I'm about to self-publish my book, and part of that is supplying a description of no more than 100 words, which will be used, for example, on the Amazon listing. I've made an attempt. I find describing this book painfully difficult and in a word limit, borderline impossible, so i'm trying to write something which makes people read the book, gets across the vibe, even if it turns out to be not what they imagined...

    Part of me wants to say "but please don't judge my story by this shitty description!"... but they are going to. So. That said. I just want some kind of feedback, and I'd prefer it to be honest. Criticism doesn't bother me in regards to my writing.. I don't want a biased positivity because you know me. it's just important I understand a truthful impression of what other people feel when they read this. Thank you.

     
  2. I really like the first three sentences of your description.
    I would give it a try just because I want to know more about this restore point.
     
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  3. Asmodean

    Asmodean Slo motion rider

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    Could be good. An intriguing premise for sure :)
     
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  4. Meliai

    Meliai Banned

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    I hope you dont think I'm just being dishonestly positive here :p but I like it and don't have any criticism to offer. It concisely explains the premise of the book and does so in an intriguing way that makes me want to read it

    10/10 would read
     
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  5. guerillabedlam

    guerillabedlam _|=|-|=|_

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    Only part I might quibble over is this...

    Transistor, gate or something seems more appropriate to the similie.
     
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  6. I wondered about cog.

    I had to google that.
     
  7. I was cog curious
     
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  8. Driftrue

    Driftrue Banned

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    Very much appreciated, all of you.
    Gb, you may be right about "cog".
    Thank you.
     
  9. Rots in hell

    Rots in hell Senior Member

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    The Earth could be a resistor or capacitor But Cog sounds well nicer
    [​IMG]
     
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  10. Rots in hell

    Rots in hell Senior Member

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  11. guerillabedlam

    guerillabedlam _|=|-|=|_

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    I agree it sounds nicer but like your video, it made me not think of computers. I suppose you could drop computer and just go with machine but I think that could potentially be alienating a large demographic.

    I dunno, seems tricky. I think I'm finally getting a glimpse of some of the frustration an author must face. :smile:
     
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2019
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  12. wooleeheron

    wooleeheron Brain Damaged Lifetime Supporter

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    Reality, what a concept! Mork from Ork
     
  13. MeAgain

    MeAgain Dazed & Confused Lifetime Supporter Super Moderator

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    Mechanical computers use gears and cogs.
    Here's a picture of a working reproduction of Charles Babbage's Difference Engine, circa 1823, which was never completed.
    [​IMG]
    Here are some of the gears, or cogs.
    [​IMG]
    I like the use of the word cog as it invokes the planet's motion around the sun...as in planetary gears.

    [​IMG]
    Perhaps the metaphor could be expanded upon in the rest of the book.
     
  14. McFuddy

    McFuddy Visitor

    Why do you say that? I’m curious.

    I really needed to state I was curious.
    After asking a question.
     
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  15. guerillabedlam

    guerillabedlam _|=|-|=|_

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    A) Computers are such a prevalent part of life for younger generations that I think the term computers has much more familiarity to it than just machines.

    B) The Simulation hypothesis formulated by Nick Bostrom, as well as discussed by others, is usually framed in the context of simulation being a Computer Simulation.
     
  16. McFuddy

    McFuddy Visitor

    Ah gotcha. This makes a lot more sense than what I was thinking.
    For some reason my mind went to, “I wonder if there are people who are against machines or something that I hadn't heard about.”
    That’s a silly starting point but that’s where I am in life.
     
  17. wooleeheron

    wooleeheron Brain Damaged Lifetime Supporter

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    Westerners always treat time like either a machine, an imaginary concept, or some sort of absolute, using things like gears for analogies because the idea of time being organic and growing like a garden in a variety of different ways is anathema in dualistic western cultures. For me, time can literally fall out of the sky like a cold front settling in and can behave in countless other ways that are alien to most people.

    Classical logic and analogies to causality inevitably become grossly inefficient and incapable of describing the world around us, because they are too limited and I would suggest something more organic for a metaphor than gears. Time being part of our mind, begs the question of reality and the dream. Ursula Le Guin's "Lathe of Heaven" is a good example.
     
  18. I don't think you need to worry about some asshole who comes around and says there aren't any cogs in computers not reading your book. Some people are just really insecure, so they spend all of their time pointing out other people's flaws. It's nothing to worry about. If you get one of them reading your book, I guarantee you they're going to think it's trash no matter what you've written. But cogs works fine for all of the non-nitwits out there.
     
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  19. Bicaptain My Captain

    Bicaptain My Captain Members

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    That was a first!
     
  20. All I'm saying is that some criticism isn't helpful. It all depends where it comes from. Some people are just harpies that spend their whole lives deconstructing others' work, due to their own vast insecurities. She shouldn't listen to all criticism. I think your criticism was like that, though of course you aren't one of the harpies I'm talking about. That was just a coincidence.
     

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