Who says hell is bad? Yeah, the priests and moralist pole-up-the-assers say that, but they also say bars, brothels, and casinos are evil and bad....
^got a bit of a Fight Club fetish, do we? :H
I might scrap the whole thing but the first stanza, or maybe write a fourth stanza. but here's what I got. The New Dawn The lashes of dawn...
shit, i have tons, here's a few though: Take someone who doesn't keep score, who's not looking to be richer, or afraid of losing, who has not...
I don't tend to take things too seriously, so what would really irritate, depress, or otherwise burden someone doesn't do that for me. Not that...
Wow, I totally misread it. For somereason I read "spikes" as "rays" or something... looking back I can see it's the mountains. I retract my first...
I like it, great images, but it's not finished. Who's this king? Why is the sun giving him a seat? Even if I might assume it's God, to throw in a...
a hungry predator like, oh I don't know, a bird? ;)
:D
i didn't mind the hairless, but it made me think of a naked bird, lik a plucked chicken or something. I know feathers aren't hair, but that's the...
oh man, this strikes me as wonderful. I'm going to read it a few mor times to soak it up, but I truly dig it.
well, I like it. You certainly have a strong sense of creating images, you paint with words, and I'm liking your poetry in general. However, your...
The stanza about atlas is good, but i don't see how it ties in at all. I know it connects to the fact that "the azure orb is the gift" but it...
forgot the peace pilgrim link, http://www.peacepilgrim.com/
see how well that works when it's actually YOU coming face to face with your mortality. I'm the same way, and actually agree with you. But then,...
You can live with nothing. Look up a woman who goes by Peace Pilgrim (she's dead now but had an amazing life/message well worth reading, has a...
I liked it too, though the extended, multi-line alliteration near the end (calls of a crude creed...) was distracting, maybe a bit much. But...
Good stuff maruta, i like the contrast between you (the speaker anyways) and the boy. Also the images and general word usage were very nicely done. :)
thank you, good sir :)
Connections I touch the earth And the earth touches me, And my inbreath is the outbreath of the world. As I stand upon the shore and touch the...
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