I haven't read the revisions of this (sorry). But the final draft is very solid and well versed! You do a fine job weaving the descriptions with...
I loved all of this, the message, the delivery, the word choice. Thanks for sharing. :)
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On a public bus I was heading back to my cave, where I could bolt shut the door, burn idle fire in my electric hearth, huddle and cower in...
Wow red, I'm flattered, you made me squeee. :D Thanks for the plug!! I got two different vibes upon reading this at separate times. At...
A 17 year old calling a 48 year old a lightweight? Ironic. It is all over the place but not impenetrable. At least some themes can be drawn out,...
Wow! This I love a lot. The juxtaposition of "asunder" and "no wonder" was amazing. This one's got teeth!
I know we can go on as separate atoms, as seafaring wreckage rejecting to settle as sediment at the bottom of bottles, rejecting to crash at any...
You repeat this line "Love is like an onion" so much, it gets a bit too repetitive and doesn't add much to the overall feel of the poem other...
Short, visual, and easy to connect to, no extra fluff is a plus.
I liked this one, I got a very Amazonian feel from it.
There are a lot of loose ends and scattered images, but it's hard to find a concrete theme, a topic, a message in this...unless it's just to...
Oh age gaps...great commentary.
It has a thick folklore vibe to it. I liked it, it's very solid.
Eep..strong war vibes. Kind of scary.
For a 15 year old this was very profound and really well written! I'd love to see more from you.
Okay lemme try.. Assured, I grew(or became) complacent, and teeth began to stain. I payed her less attention causing the first pain. I tried...
Wow very..wise and serene. It really made me at peace and made me think that the storm's eye could also extend to every day life where we whirl in...
This sounds almost more like a journal entry then a poem.
I loved this part.
Separate names with a comma.
