but you can get to the essence of an addict by showing something an addict does or something that happens to an addict. thats far more powerful,...
glorify that which shall not be glorified means you are glorifying something that isnt being glorified, its a contradiction
also just because it makes sense doesn't make it a good poem, it has potential to be a real real good poem. i hope you work on it
instead of telling us what an addict is, try showing us what an addict is through an action a particular addict does. it will make the poem...
im just offering constructive criticism, take it or leave it, but the fact remains that your poem could be better with a little work
well, i like it. i do find personal meaning in it. this is how i read it though The truth finally comes out, your hopes and wantings of me are...
also a period at the end of every line makes it a string of blips. try playing around with the punctuation. a few comma's maybe get rid of some of...
Glorify that which shall not be glorified that line makes no sense.....shouldnt be glorified would make sense
what does it mean?
i like it alot, you could try messing around with the syllable count in each line and get some kinda form in there
i smoke weed while tripping, i dont do cigs.....my friends do and i agree on the whole smoke dealy
i agree with the last part.also mushrooms in small doses helps your eye sight tremendously
oh man, deffinatly the verbzilla from line 6, you can get some insane tones from that shit
tri[[ing alone can be eye opening if you remember to keep your head
i like the ending myslef
getting colder by corey plankey underneath a tree you sat with me tears welled up in your eyes. not wanting to cry, crying anyway. with...
feels like it could be song lyrics, which is not meant to be a bad thing. you should come up with a melody for it
^also alduos huxley loved lsd and peyote. never did H
do you guys think thom yorke's done h?
40 here in western MA
Separate names with a comma.
