My Dear Friend: The Irs

Cuz see, the IRS and I have become close pals over the past couple of years, see?

Reason being: I have had to file for Currently Not Collectible for three tax years now.

Most folks don't even know wtf I am talking about when I say "Currently Not Collectible."

Cuz see: This is something the IRS does not want to advertise.

Most folks would never find this until they hired a tax attorney.

It is a well-hidden secret of the IRS.

I discovered this tho, while googling information on tax desperation subjects. And it has been my salvation.

Bottom line is: If you can prove to the IRS that you do not have the financial means to pay your tax debt, the IRS will stop bugging you about it. Well, for a year or two, at least.

If you can prove that you are unable to pay your tax debt for any particular year, the IRS has to stop harassing you about it...and then has 10 years to try to collect that debt from you.

They will ask for an update of your financial status every couple of years tho.

They will, however, impose a lien on your credit record for every year in which you are Currently Not Collectible.

This is not overly important to me. I have one major credit card at this point, which I use for convenience, and pretty much pay off every month.

I used to fear the IRS greatly. Now that I am in tax-debt probationary status, I understand that if I do not pay my full tax assessment by April 15th, the IRS will NOT, in fact, destroy my life.

In point of fact, I could put the IRS off for five months past the April 15th deadline, and still not face any real penalties, other than normal late-payment penalties and interest.

When I was younger, I never could have imagined doing shit like this. I was in mortal fear of the IRS.

Now I am experienced in the art of playing the system...by way of necessity...and I know that I can actually get away with a helluva lot more than I ever thought I could.

And by and large, the agents of the IRS are pretty decent, normal folks who are just trying to do their jobs, and are not interested much in making your life hell, if they don't need to.

All my phone conversations with IRS staff have been quite pleasant, for the most part.

You just need to know what you are doing when you phone them. So research is important.

And even if you don't have the research behind you, the IRS staff tend to be mostly pretty helpful, in my experience.

I would way rather be able to just pay my damned taxes, rather than go through all this shit year after year. But in my situation, I can't...so I'm grateful that there are reasonable rules and procedures in place for folks in my situation.

And also: The IRS call-hold music is so sweet and soothing!!! I wish I had a recording of it myself. I was singing and dancing to it sometimes, while waiting for my call to be answered.



So, yeah, the point is: If you have tax problems, the important thing is to just be sure to TALK to the IRS and not ignore the problem. As long as the IRS perceives that you are trying to work with them to do what's right, they tend to be very easy to work with, in my experience.