What Makes Marriages End?

Money

 

I've heard money is the #1 thing couples fight about

 

Marriage isn't natural. Living with someone not being married, means the choice is made daily rather than just once, when a marriage cert is signed.

Also, there is no need for marriage. I believe it's an 'institution' fundamentally about control of women as if they are property. The whole of western society frowns on women flirting or more but guys are 'allowed'. That's based on control.

I also wonder how much better the gene pool would be if we pro-created per the apparent reason to exist. Another unfairness to women. One woman may not actually want 4 children. Some women want children but their man can't. Nature's way should prevail. If it did, the best men would procreate thus improving the gene pool.

Living as co-habitants is one thing. Locking people into it with one person is another. Having a system to unlock (divorce) seems to me, absurd when locking shouldn't happen in the first place.

My 2c.

 

Marriage benefits society and allows for a higher standard of living for all. If a male can not be reasonably sure that the children in his house are his own, then he will have little incentive to care for them, work to provide for them, or even have a house in the first place. Look at the societies where “whoever fits her usually gits her,” and see what level of development those are in. Some of them are positively Malthusian.

Yes, one can easily agree that many individuals are not suited to marriage.
Analogously, some are not suited to education either. But it benefits most folks, and certainly society as a whole.

 

Its not marriage that benefits society. Marriage has little to do with a guy knowing whether the children in the house are his. It's the selection by the habitees, of their partner.

I agree in principle with the construction that education, benefits the majority and imv it's much better than home-schooling. However, there's many children for whom it fails in practice whether through their personal needs not being catered for or being streamed incorrectly. There's also to much focus on academia with it being considered of more value than vocational learning.

I'm not readily able to identify a country or society where ,'whoever fits her gets her'. I can see it in some sections of us and UK society though.

 

The colloquialism I used was to refer to societies where there is little to no parental involvement from the male. These are more primitive societies where the females live like other primates or herd animals and the mature males only bother with them for copulation. Yes, I’ve pointed to something at the extreme end of the spectrum of societies. This is in contrast to say a strictly enforced, monogamous pair-bonding society, which I would argue is just as rare as the other extreme. Please don’t think I’m presenting a strictly dichotomous choice. As I said, there is a spectrum.

I would further contend that a society’s place on such a spectrum would also be strongly correlated with, and even causal of, their civilizational/technological achievement.

 

For an actual education, college / university teaches a person to be more adaptable, with a much broader range of subjects, professors, controversial theories and ideas. For me, the roughest part of my junior and senior years in college was realizing how many professors were borderline nut-cases (and worse). Two of them off'ed themselves, others were more like a robot than a human. To my knowledge there is no "coursework" that teaches dealing with extremely difficult people. Learning to adjust is one of the benefits of the degree. Sometimes. I was tempted more than once to tell the professor to _____ (NSFW)

 

Honestly and comprise is the secret

 

I never married but was in a relationship that I thought it was on the cards. Two things happened which crashed and burned that possibility.
I was taking her for granted and spending more time with the lads than with her ( football matches, pubs and general partying)
She gave me warning when she suggested I only spent time with her when I was bored of hanging out with my mates. ( she was right) I didnt do enough to alter her opinion and then I found out she was in a relationship with another guy.
I think 'take it for grantedness' and perhaps staleness in long term marriages/relationships can weaken the bond. I have known many people whom if it wasnt for young children may have split up sooner rather than later.

 

Neglect or lack of effort

 

Agree! Hello dear lady! ;-)

 

The marriage was just not meant to be, but you only realized this later.

I still view my divorce as my biggest personal failure, but we weren't a good match for each other. I wish we had been or that we could have worked things out. My marriage meant a lot to me and it wrecked me for years when it failed. I became so cynical for so long.

 

People dont seem to wanna resolve anything anymore,they split up for no reason basically...

 

So sorry:-( Hope you’ve worked through this!

 

LMAO! Tyrson always had that brutally honest wit about his responses to posts. I’m just now coming across this and reflecting on the good old HF days when he was with us. RIP my good brother, you are dearly missed by those of us that know you…..

 

Yes! My deepest condolences to family, friends and all HF friends:-(

 

If it doesn’t work out, the worst thing you can do is “stick together” for reasons that are superficial and totally unjustified. That’s a waste of time.

 

Cheating

 

I hope you are feeling better now and hopefully your next partner will be more understanding or hold the same views as your self. My wife wasn't a nudist but did understand my feelings and didn't mind me being naked, even when we had a nice drive in the UK countryside, or walk.