What Causes A Guy To Not Be Able To Get Hard

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by Lvlygrl, Jan 16, 2017.

  1. Lvlygrl

    Lvlygrl Member

    I'm not sure if he had others before. He was older than me and I usually don't ask about past relationships.

    So it very well coulda been clumsy.
     
  2. pensfan13

    pensfan13 Senior Member

    Heart medicine would do it. I also was on some stuff that was for helping my kidney stones pass. Only got it up one time over those two months and barely. Also nothing came out and the orgasm was pretty much non existent. Just a feeling of not being horny anymore.
     
  3. nympho man

    nympho man Member

    I know one of the guys we share with will have trouble in threesomes we've had with him. Typically my wife sucking on his cock will eventually bring him around. I think it's nerves to be honest though. I have stepped out to let them have some alone time and he will be hard as I come back in.

    Then he seems to be just fine.
     
  4. Mr_Self_Destruct

    Mr_Self_Destruct New Member

    Hmmm, I'm guessing if its a virgin first time thing then alcohol might have been involved...
    Brewers droop perhaps?

    PS: If you're married now why does it even matter?
     
  5. Lvlygrl

    Lvlygrl Member

    because my husband (now separated) was having issues too and I wanted to know if it was me
     
  6. Mr_Self_Destruct

    Mr_Self_Destruct New Member

    Ah ok, got it.

    Maybe they're feeling pressure to perform? Have you tried "taking control of the situation"? Telling them they're not allowed to do anything or (basically) move? This takes all the pressure off them and they can relax and enjoy. They might even find they struggle with this and have to take-over the action.

    Alternatively, you could look at options such as Viagra, Stendra, Sildenafil. These can often help. Just a suggestion.
     
  7. Lvlygrl

    Lvlygrl Member

    Ya I've tried everything, just not the pills though. He's young enough and healthy that he shouldn't have this problem. Aww well, not my concern anymore
     
  8. pensfan13

    pensfan13 Senior Member

    the simple answer is "not enough blood in the penis"
     
  9. Beutsecks

    Beutsecks Large Rooster

    If it's not happening consistently, you're worrying about nothing. I personally find bad hygeine to be very deflating, I just can't hang with stank or skank. Back or knee pain can cause a stiffy to vanish quickly, so if you just finished having him move furniture or he's been under the Buick all afternoon, you might want to be the one on top.

    But another factor that can really douse the flame is ridicule/bitching. Seriously, if you tend to get critical of your mate during sex, don't expect peak performance unless he happens to prefer grudge fucking you for running your mouth. There are only a few REAL issues that can limit erectile performance, the rest are mental. Age is only a marginal factor, en Franklin fathered children into his 80s.

    By the way, wtf is this "I didn't give it up for 3 months" business? Can you possibly make sex seem less romantic than phrasing it like it's some kind of commodity? As if it's SO valuable it should have a stock ticker symbol? I'm not suggesting that anyone should have sex before they are ready, but this sounds like a series of qualifying stages or landmarks must be met before you, the owner of sex, can allow such contact. It sounds so cold and calculating and I have to say that itself is a serious turn-off once a guy realizes he has been manipulated for so long. Unless, of course, you are VERY talented and 3 months is worth the wait.

    So much about this is a matter of perception. Making a guy jump through hoops is not how a lasting, loving relationship happens. It's no better than keeping score, as if it's all a game to you. Good luck with that.
     
  10. funforlife

    funforlife Member

    anxiety I would say.
     
  11. neonspectraltoast

    neonspectraltoast Senior Member

    Maybe they felt you were too special...perhaps they blew you out of proportion and couldn't figure out how to relate to you any longer. Feelings of inadequacy, basically. So you might take their flaccid dicks as a compliment rather than as an insult.
     
  12. theposk

    theposk New Member

    they could of been on drugs .. blow, molly .. evil trick in that makes you horny AF but unable to follow through
     
  13. Taramafor

    Taramafor Member

    I'm going to answer regarding the topic of the thread alone. If someone is just wiggling their titties in my face it's not going to do it for me. ACTIONS is what sells it. Why someone might be doing what they do. Do they make the effort to be there and do things for me? Are they using me for their pleasure? If so is it for THEIR pleasure ALONE or is it shared? Can it be both at once?

    I have to care about someone and feel something for them to "feel it". So what causes me to not be hard? Treating me like a one night stand and focusing on "just" the ex alone with nothing else. I need the emotional connection.

    Also bonue answer. Here I gave you MY answer. Ask another guy and you'll likely get a DIFFERENT answer. It depends on the guy you ask. Some people get aroused at nerdy conversations. Other peple might "flop" when the wrong kink is brought in.

    When in doubt ask the guys you're engaging with. We're not them. We don't know what turns them on and off.
     
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    Real depression is serious your not feeling like sex anyway but big pharma pushed these drugs on the "worried well" and the results
     
  15. ahsorandy

    ahsorandy Member

    What Causes A Guy To Not Be Able To Get Hard? An ugly woman. LOL
     
  16. The Imaginary Being

    The Imaginary Being PAIN IN ASS Lifetime Supporter

    many reasons

    physical unattractiveness
    anxiety
    alcohol and drugs
    really entertaining television
    overuse
    beyond the pale sexual desires
    sudden death
    being emotionally unattractive (bragging about shagging everyone etc.)
     
    1 person likes this.
  17. JoeyM51

    JoeyM51 Currently locked in chastity for the last 4 years.

    For the younger guys it is anxiety. Sort of like getting to the plate and knowing you need to hit a homerun. There are many other factors that can cause this to happen. Many medications will prevent you from getting erect. Some will make you anorgasmic (not able to orgasm). I have had all of those kinds of pills. I have diabetes and it causes Erectile Dysfunction. There are many medical and mental reasons for it and it has nothing to do with the girl he is with. However, most women equate an erection as a sign that you find them sexy and desirable. No erection and they think it is their fault.
     

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