Virgin help

Discussion in 'Love and Sex' started by Viper17, May 8, 2018.

  1. Alternative_Thinker

    Alternative_Thinker Darth Mysterious

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    I've played a devil's advocate on various situations myself, plus we all have different perceptions of what should, or should not be. I think in an ideal situation, a couple doesn't really need to worry about these anxiety issues. But sadly, obstacles have a way of making their existence known without much prior warning. Also, big part of the problem is that there are people who don't understand that marriage should be one of the last steps to take in a relationship. I say this is a problem because it let's those who are otherwise unready/unfit to marry. Then these people would proceed have serious compatibility issues later on in life, forcing them to either staying in their unhappy marriages or divorce. That is not how a marriage should be about.

    Now, here's why:

    This kind of "it's all work" type outlook, in my opinion, gives a wrong impression of what a healthy relationship is. One can NOT make a relationship with anyone if two parties are not compatible with each other, hence soul mates exist. Soul mates are those who share very high compatibility with one another, and this allows for communication to occur easily. I have seen couples try to make their relationships work where they just didn't have that compatibility part down, only to result in some even being physically threatened/assaulted all because they wanted to "try to be as unselfish as possible" in their relationships. Relationships do require efforts made by both parties involved, but compatibility is what makes things as stress-free as possible. We need this in any relationship if we want it to be as stress-free as possible, because things are going to get stressful at times, anyway. And the way I see it, somewhere along the way, ancient humans gave it a term, and that's "soul mates".

    At any rate, I do feel like the OP is a bit irresponsible/immature from reading some of the things he has said. That "wine to loosen her up at bit" comment just doesn't sound right to me. It doesn't give the impression that he respects his wife, her situation, or himself for that matter, as much as he may like to think he's letting on.
     
  2. Alternative_Thinker

    Alternative_Thinker Darth Mysterious

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    Exactly, and in my book if you're in a loving, happy relationship, where both parties can communicate well with each other and the love shared makes you whole, then you and your partner are meant to be together. There's a level of psychic connection that plays a part in this type of pairing, and if you find it completely misleading then you've never experienced it. I'm sorry if that were the case. Conversely, if a relationship did not work out, ultimately that relationship was not meant to work. But you can also say that, ultimately, it was also meant to be in a sense where it was meant to fail.

    The way I perceive "soul mates" is that there can be more than one soul mate for each person. Some believe there can only be one soul mate, but I don't believe that. I also believe the ones you've felt a strange connection to but couldn't develop a relationship with due to various circumstantial obstacles, you either might have been with in the past life, or if not then perhaps you are meant to be united again in another life. One must be in touch with one's spirituality at least a little bit in order to be able to perceive love and pairing of two souls in this way. And I'm speaking from a completely non-religious perspective here because I'm not religious, but I am speaking as someone who feels spiritual connections with other spiritually compatible individuals.

    If a marriage sucks a lot strictly based on how two people directly involved interact and treat each other then, to me, there's no point in staying that marriage. That suggests there's a problem, and usually multiple problems. If the two parties still love each other, still have deep and solid bond, and are happy with each other, then they most likely wouldn't say it "sucks a lot" in regard to their marriage, because whatever negative element that is causing that marriage to suck is coming from the outside. This is the only instance where I can see putting an effort, effort to rectify their situations together, will save the marriage. But if two people are not compatible with each other, but proceed to get married anyway(this happen way too often, and we've all seen it), only to realize their marriage sucks big time, then they would just be wasting their time trying for extended periods of time to make it all work.
     
  3. Oldiebutgoodie

    Oldiebutgoodie Members

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    On somewhat of a shallow viewpoint, this could also be a control issue. "You at gettin none till you do what I say". Years ago it was called being "Pussy whipped". Calling you a pussy hound or whatever and you are yet to get it just once would have me packing my bags.

    I am in the get-it-on at some point during the honeymoon group. Don't try to over analyze the sex act. You don't have to pull a Bill Crosby but put your proverbial foot down or get the marriage annulled, or expect a lifetime of heartache. Most likely you are dealing with a spoiled, selfish controling person. Every time you step out of line expect more of the same.

    .
     
    Last edited: May 15, 2018

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