Taking last name in marriage

i love my last name so much and what it means.... i'm either not getting married or my husband is taking my lastname

 

^This.

Hope your house is okay, friend.

 

I dont worry about it, its just a name. In my culture woman dont take the husband last name, they keep their own, but the children are named after the father.

 

I doubt it -- it seems to be on fire every five minutes.

It's his way of trying to be witty.

 

We both agreed that it's too much of a hassle to change my wife's surname in her passport and other legal documents.

As for our son, he has two passports. In the Japan passport he uses his mother's surname (again, it is too much paperwork for him to take on my surname in Japan). In the Philippine passport, he uses my surname.

Complicated stuff, but that's bureaucracy for you. Try marrying another nationality and having a child and that bureaucracy increases.

 

I think it is up to the individual. Personally I am with a partner and we do not even plan to be married . Don't understand why it has to be legal in anyway. We did a ceremony with our own vows and did in in front of earthmother and a few loved ones. To me I didn't want to change my last name because I had my last name my whole life and I felt my identity would change. I love my last name. I do understand why some would want to change it . I am pro choice, with this and most things

 

I don't think a woman should have to take a mans name by any means. This is a tradition that irks me beyond belief. I think you should retain your names, and what they mean or create a new last name for the both of you to represent your new life together.

 

This is about having a choice. I chose to take my husband's name, because I had a CHOICE to do so, or not do so.

I am still me. If my life decisions that do not affect others "irk" people, that is just too fucking bad, get a life.

It seems that some people can't pick one thing without shitting on the other to make their choice seem better...

I wholeheartedly support women who choose to keep their name, AND women who choose change theirs.

 

i still think it's silly

 

I see that this thread is rather old, but...oh well...it deserves to be brought up again. My husband and I have been married since 1993. I kept my real name, which seems to confuse and perplex many otherwise sensible people. My name is my name and I saw no reason to change it unless I found it objectionable for some reason. Yes, it is also my father's name and his father (and his father, etc...). But it had to stop somewhere, so I decided that it stops with me. I would be insulted to be addressed as Mrs. HisName. To me, that is just silly and suggests that a woman's identity depends upon marital status. When we married, my husband agreed that if we ever had children, girls would get my last name and boys would get his. That seemed fair. Until we had children - three of them...all (you guessed it!) BOYS! I feel like I should have considered this possibility, but then again, if all had been girls, I would have just told my hubby "too bad...you lost out on the name thing..." Before we got married, we both considered hyphenating our names, but it would have caused me to have initials that spelled a curse word. I am just curious if anyone else has had a similar situation, and if so, how did you handle it?

 

when two people get married they should make a new name together that they both can agree on

 

keep your own name

 

I don't want to marry anyway, but if I ever did I would not drop my name for his.

 

I know a few who have botht their parents' names, i.e Mary Smith marries Bob Richards, and have a kid, Sue Smith-Richards
I don't know about taking on last name...the feminist inside me says no, but I also think long names are cool...
We'll see..

But, I like OhSoDreaful's idea! We should make our own name out of love <3
Or moosh them together... :3

 

I think hyphenated names are ridiculous. Just think of what would happen if two hyphenated people married and also hyphenated -- the name would be like a law firm.

I don't like my girlfriend's name; or else I wouldn't be opposed to trading names when we wed -- but she has no qualms with taking mine, anyways.

I feel like making a new name would be somewhat insulting to my dead ancestors..

 

Right. My friend had a hyphenated maiden name. I won't post her real name because it's so unique I wouldn't be surprised if she was the only one world wide. But imagine her maiden name being Burnard-Eugene. She then married a Smith and her name became Burnardeugene-Smith. Mental.

That said, I used to think I wouldn't change my surname when/if I married. I wanted to keep it because it's mine and I feel sentimental towards it. Now I'm not so sure. I want to have the same name as my husband and also my children if I can. I'd consider a hyphenated name for myself as a compromise but I wouldn't do that to my children. They could have their father's name.

 

The legal requirement thing is just jaw-dropping ridiculous. I can understand a "well, she should" but not a "EVERY WOMAN WILL FOLLOW THE LAW OF SURNAMES!!".

Personally I'm taking my husband's name but it's a choice we came to after much discussion. We were actually going to have him change his last name to mine, but if he did that he'd have the same name as my brother who's kind of the black sheep of the family (drugs, jailtime, etc.) and we didn't like the association.

 

He isn't marrying your brother, he's marrying you. It's YOUR name he'd be taking on. I wouldn't not take my fiancees name because I didn't like his brother. That's silly.

 

I didn't realise how much having someone else's surname imposed on me made me feel less like myself until I got divorced and got my old name back. Now, I'm not giving it up for anyone. I don't see the point. Me and my boyfriend are separate people, and if people don't see our union as significant enough that's their bother. We know we're in love and want to stay as partners forever. We don't need certificates and a team name to prove it.

 

It's probably because her brother and her fiance have the same first name, I can understand if that was the case.

I hate my last name and mostly just want to change it to his last name...because I hate mine. Haha. I don't hate my family or anything like that, just the way it sounds. It's ugly. And it's my only real reason to care to change it. I just don't know how to go about that if we're not ever going to get legally married...