Searching for a third party opinion.

Maybe you need to tell her this.

If it really bothers you, I don't think you should take "I don't want to answer" as an answer.

 

Thanks for the advice guys, everyone.

 

Well, if she is attracted to another guy it doesn't necessarily mean that she is *more* attracted to him than to you. I guess it's never fun to hear that someone you are with likes someone else to any degree. I guess for me the issue would be if she had made up her mind that she is going to be with me or someone else. If she is just waiting for her chance to hop on another train, I see where that would be a problem.

But if she is only part joking about the idea of marrying you, then it sounds like she may be over this other guy?

No, no, really. It may be rare for a young, unmarried couple to go to counciling, but that doesn't mean it would be a bad idea. I think the problem is that people think that couple counciling is only for married couples who are thinking about getting a divorce.

One of the problems with couple counciling is that the people who go to it often have relationships that are so screwed that they are beyond repair by the time they get to it. The time to go is probably before things get out of control.

Not trying to force this down your throat here. But not necessarily a bad idea.

If you are both in college now, sometimes schools have free counciling available to students. It might not be couple counciling, but the councilors would probably handle relationship issues.

Oooo, serious stereotype reversal here. The guys are supposed to be the ones who don't communicate. Hmmm... so you are crazy about her, where is she at? I assumed that she's into you just because of the jokes about marriage. Her not communicating could just be a sign that she is in general not a communicative person. Or it could be that she doesn't take the relationship seriously enough to put any effort into it.

Lack of communication is a big problem, pretty tough to fix things when they go wrong.

So that makes me think that trying to take her to couples counciling might not be such a good idea after all. If she's not communicative, she could be reluctant. If she's not that into you, she could freak out because she thinks you're being too serious. But if she's not that into you (and is just waiting to jump this other guy) getting rid of her might not be such a bad idea.

Still, seeing a councilor on your own might still be a good idea.

I guess I made a stereotype mistake. Chick in 2 year relationship = wants to communicate about the relationship and put effort into making it work

 

It's not that she's not serious about the relationship, I'm beginning to think that she's even more serious than I am and she does put effort into this relationship. When we get into fights, both of us are unimaginably stubborn, but she does tend to let down and apologize rather often (Either way, I do more apologizing..).

About being not communicative, I guess that that could be the case. For example, she's really closed when it comes to meeting new people, she takes things VERY slowly and from the other perspective looks rather cold. Even when she met my parents, she did seem cold to them, but not until after a year did they find out that she's someone they'd love to communicate with.

I'm not quite sure whether she's just waiting to hop on the other train, but I guess that the guy getting into a serious relationship with another girl and falling head over heels for her turned her off. But that doesn't make me feel any less off a back-up plan making me think that I want to end it.

 

trust me you want someone who loves and wants only you. that's not too common, but trust me you don't want to be an obvious second or competing for the love of someone you feel everything for. it will be hard to take this advice, but i suspect its the best option, if only in the long run.

 

I don't subscribe to the "only wants you" point of view. Lots of people have a thing for someone famous, for example, but still really love who they are with. I think it depends on where she is at. If she is a train jumper, then you have a reason to dump her. If she had an interest in another guy that is in the past, I don't think that's a big deal. The main issue, I think, is whether or not she is committed to you now.

So I think you really need an answer from her. Maybe you should ask, "I know that you had an interest in another guy while we've been together. I really love you, but if I'm just your back up plan, it's not going to work."

 

she's testing your boundaries to see how much she can get away with. that is not a mutual relationship. there should be repect and admiration for one another, and you've become her bitch. sorry to be so harsh, but you can do way better.

 

uhh, no it's not. Being dishonest is sometimes a negative thing- but other times it's sparing another's feelings, agreeing to make someone happy or simply trying to avoid an argument.

Man tells a women he likes the colour of the new curtains when he secretly does not. Woman finds out about this little fib. Woman kicks man out of the house, and insists he might as well of cheated on her??

 

Thanks for the harsh but honest answer. Well, she's been being a bitch lately, even when it comes to our second anniversary, so I guess I already know where this is going. Had quite enough of this.

Thanks again guys