My Husband's So Bad In Bed, It Makes Me Want To Cheat

This doesn't sound like a "bad" husband though. Preserving your own sanity sounds like a very sound and healthy thing to do.

 

That's exactly what I meant.
He is still there, with all the crap she hurts him with!
He is quite obviously a good husband!

 

Good post up until that last sentence, where we are back to it has to be his fault

 

What I was trying to say is that I think I handled he situation very well but it still made him shut down. I think he really feels the need to be perfect in everything he does in life. I'm sure there are things that I am doing wrong and that this is not all his fault. I am not above listening to people and adjusting when I'm wrong. I definitely don't claim that I am perfect. I'm far from that. Obviously, I'm struggling and stumbling along here. I'm young and I'm most likely not handling everything with a completely level head. Hopefully we get to the point where we can actually have a conversation and he can tell me how I can talk to him in a way that won't make him shut down. Right now, it feels like there is no way I could talk to him that wouldn't make him shut down but there has to be. I wish he would talk to me and let me know. Even if it hurts my feelings, at least we're getting somewhere.

 

You could also try the "It's not you, it's me" approach. He may have pleased other women, or believed that he pleased other women. You could take it easy on his ego and tell him that your clit is probably just weird.

 

I did hehe! And who knows, it might be weird. Every body is definitely different.

 

All genitals are weird, that's why we use them.

I think you sound hot and should find what you truly want. I'm sure it's not me but good luck!

 

I highly doubt she told him the things she told us. Also, it doesn't sound that bad. I still think she should show him the thread. Because she is just telling the truth, or at least her truth. Yes, in a nutshell she is basically saying that she is attractive, more so than her husband, she thinks her husband is bad in bed, and that she has had sexual fantasies with other people to the point she has considered cheating. See, that sound bad. When I summarize it like that. But, the way she put it didn't sound bad, if you read all her posts in its entirety. Sure, she blamed her husband for her unhappiness. Sure, she sounded cocky when she talked about how attractive she is. Sure, she sounded selfish when she talked about cheating and all these sexual fantasies that she has that she thinks she will never fulfill. Sure. Sure. Sure. That's all true. We are all about judging people negatively. But, if you go beyond that, she sound more like a woman that is unhappy with her marriage.

 

This is what I wonder as well. I think age and lack of experience/maturity had a lot to do with it. 23 is WAY too young to get married. I honestly believe few women even know what they want in a partner at that age.

 

Speak for yourself.

 

Please, leave me alone. I told you many times to leave me alone.

 

Yeah, leave her alone ya big meanie





Edit: sorry, her, not him

 

Anyhoo, AnonymousGS,

There are more important things than any of this.

You should have worked your behind off to put yourself through college, and then nowadays post grad

So you are never financially reliant on anyone, male or female

 

On the other hand, some people are just not good in bed.

If that's big on your list, cut your losses and move on while you're young.

 

Ok the thing is,no one is ever going to satisfy your every need 100% right?Whether that be sexually,intellectually,whatever!You did find your husband very attractive,and ok he's put on weight,have you asked him why?Is he bored?Stressed?Now married,thinks its ok that he can let "himself go"?I think if it were me,firstly I would address the weight issue.Not for you,for him!Putting on the pounds is'nt good for anyone's health.Perhaps join a new gym together?The guy at your old gym?Ok he keeps looking at you?He's attractive.He too could be lousy in bed!He could be crap at managing his money,he could be a mean person,so forget that guy.You said your husband is a kind man.There's alot to be said about a kind man tbh! My husband is the kindest guy I've met.Nope he's not the sexiest,but you know what?I don't give that too much attention.There is more to a marriage than sex.Do you want kids in the future?If yes,then they will be lucky you married someone who is kind,and who will be kind to them too.And hopefully they'll grow up to be kind people.
re the painful sex?Can you suggest you be on top so you can control the penetration more?I'd put it in a way that makes it sound like its one of your sexy thoughts,not because you dislike it when he's on top of you,so turn it into a positive.Maybe suggest different positions when you're actually having sex,so it sounds more natural and not like you complaining.Most of all though,when tough times hit,remember why you fell inlove with him.

 

I suggest you end the marriage sweetheart. Don't pursue something that isn't making you happy. I'm married and a mother of three kids from my husband but I have affairs searching for happier moments. Don't be like me and have kids and then decide you don't want him. Leave now. There are men who will adore your small waist and large breasts and make you happy in every aspect of life.

 

Its like trying to draw blood from a stone ever getting you gals to admit the truth

Doesnt matter what the hubby does or doesnt do, you are just going to end up bored anyway

Or hookup with a safe dependable guy you knew the whole time was never going to rock your world in the bedroom.

Some of you no idea yourselves that jump in libido that will occur 20 years later, even though you should, I mean it was all around you, just that 20 years ago you didnt really pay attention, or care, and older women never told you the truth. Bizarre

 

kinda seems like a fake post.

 

Just call me.
I'll put a smile back on your face

 

True, it happens of course. On the other hand: when 2 people are in love and one is lacking in the bedroom they are often willing and able to improve.

She said she has a hard time speaking about this stuff to him or at counseling: uhmm this is part of the issue naturally.