Learning to love my body and it's imperfections

I'm cheating...... don't judge it's happening and I'm not feeling guilty.
Known each other 20 years but 10 years ago something clicked. He's a semi well known person. I'm not.
Thousands if not tens of thousands of messages and hundreds of voice calls later we found we were in the same city without our partners. Sex happened over a few hours. Months later we had an overnighter. Another is in the planning soon.
I'm so turned on by this guy. His voice, touch, smell, messages, looks..... just everything.
He tells me I'm sexy and have a great body but I just can't love myself. All I see are flaws, stretch marks, cellulite, flabby bits, small tits, scars etc. So the sex is in complete darkness which makes me comfortable and adventurous beyond my wildest dreams.
So I suppose my question is... do guys really see beauty in plain Janes like me with my faults? I'm 5'8" and 170 lbs.
I'd really like to release my mind as well as body to enable me to have an orgasm with him which has been my long time fantasy.
I can orgasm by myself but never have with a man although I get turned on in the act of sex and foreplay.

 

You aren't a magazine model and your bedmates don't look at you like one.

That scar isn't looked at like a flaw. It's looked at like its a feature of your body. "Oh, this is different. Its your scar. It makes your body different, special. Cute."

Bedmates look at your body and its unique features and see those unique features as what makes it your body, rather than a generic "ideal of western woman." (BTW, If most men were in bed with a magazine ideal of beauty, their nervousness and fears if inadiquacy would cause impotence. Your so called flaws make the erection bigger.)

 

First and foremost, You have to love yourself first,before you can truly love someone else. That said, respectfully, Vanity is getting in your way. My wife and I are a senior couple and we are "not" what some would call beautiful people. But, we are very sexual with each other. We accept each other as we are.
Aging will happen, but I can tell you, our relationship is better now than twenty years ago. My wife has a very sexy attitude and one sexy woman and I don't see imperfections.
The better question you should ask yourself is where is this new relationship going? Good luck with that. Don't get in too deep.

 

Is the guy your having sex with perfect? Does he have flaws?
I think it’s normal for all women to see their flaws, but you have to get over some of them.
I think we see more flaws then what others see. Also, he wouldn’t want to have sex with you if he didn’t like what you have to offer! I read that most men don’t usually see our little flaws until we point them out!

 

I'm not sure why the first five lines of this post are part of this post.

 

theoretically, i wouldn't think he would be having sex with you if he didn't find you attractive. there's that whole erection thing; guys physically can't have sex with someone without something arousing them.

especially if he's cheating. why would he go to that trouble and take that risk if he's not even into it?

 

Thanks for your reply, it means a lot to me to read the opinion of another man, especially someone I don't know. My man says similar, I just gotta believe it.

 

i actually think stretch marks are hot. my sister has them, and it looks like a tiger gashed her belly. and im jealous.

 

That erection thing you speak of, it doesn't lie does it, stirred 10 years ago, just took us a while to try it and it didn't disappoint

 

Nice, I'm going to be a tigress in the bedroom

 

that's the spirit!

I dunno, personally I feel if you want to experience what life has to offer in that department, you have to be confident in your own skin. Sure, I don't have the biggest boobs, but I still slap those bad boys around. I am at constant battles with my weight. I'm either looking kinda good, or too thin, which I know is pretty lame ass when other folks are in the opposite but ay, being thin ain't healthy either. I work on my mid section build muscle, but I tend to also only work out when I'm being healthy, so the end result is when I reach for sky my ribs are quite pronounced and I don't like it. So I start drinking and eating MacNuggets to put weight on, which always hits my face first, so I'm back on the diet again. In the right outfit, those ribs are damn good ribs. And in the right hair do, that face is pretty darn cute.

Hell, buy yourself a body stocking. Been there done that. Don't want a new lover to see your body, wear a body stocking. Hide it, dude body stocking are great on cuddly chicks.

 

I think he's perfect and many women do, I just have to learn to grow my confidence. We waited so long and we are both 50+ so we will make the best of it when we can

 

Yes, I can speak for myself, I love plain Janes! Most of the ones I've been with have an inner beauty about themselves that I appreciate so much. That inner beauty of confidence, humbleness, compassion, sensuality, etc., goes a long way with me. Yes, the outside beauty is what's captured first and foremost, but if you are a gorgeous yet snobby, inconsiderate, selfish,etc., that beautiful image becomes flawed and less attractive to me. I'm with plain Jane all day.

Learn to accept yourself, or make efforts to seek improvements on the things that make you feel insecure about yourself.

 

PJ, I've been reading this forum a while and am impressed with your outlook and openness. This relationship is only sexual, however we have supported each other emotionally through very tough and complicated times. I'm already in too deep...

 

I knew a woman who referred to hers as "tiger stripes."

 

That's a sexy way to put it. Like that!