Kids Overhearing Parents Sexual Activity.

I didn't like hearing my parents have sex. I'm so conscious about it now, that I think my daughter can hear my wife when we have sex, and my wife doesn't care. Makes me uncomfortable most of the time because our daughter has walked in on us at a real young age. I'm very sexual, but really enjoy being discreet, and when your kids are around, there should be boundaries. They'll go to school and talk about that shit.

 

You could always put a lock on the door, and turn on some music so you can relax and enjoy alone time with your wife. Our kids walked in on us once, and learned to knock and wait for an answer after it happened. I walked in on my parents (EW!), once, and learned to knock and wait. I think it is a pretty normal occurrence, and you shouldn't let it stop you from enjoying sex with your wife. Boundaries are a wonderful thing. I used to just tell the kids "Dad and I are going to spend some time together," and they got the hint not to bother us. We didn't always have sex, but it was really nice to watch a movie without kids interrupting every few minutes. Or, we used that time to just talk and unwind. It was just a nice break once in a while.

Oh, and If you do get caught in the act, don't make a big deal about it, and it won't be a big deal. When my son walked in on us (many years ago) I told him "The door is closed for a reason." and it never happened again. Same thing with our daughter. The older they got, the more they understood privacy, because they started wanting it for themselves. It also helped that we did not make sex into some dark, dirty secret in our home, and that it was normal and natural for mom and dad to enjoy their alone time.

 

Thank you, I really like what you wrote. My wife and I just need to have better control of the environment and make it more pleasant. I think me being a little uptight too doesn't help. Working on it.

 

My wife and I didn't realize we had been caught by our oldest son. He was about about four at the time. My parents had come to dinner at our house and our son starting talkingca crazy story of having a monkey in the house. We played along trying to find out where the story was coming from. He proceeded to tell us all that it slept in mom and dads bed and he saw it jumping up and down on his mom. We realized that we must have gotten caught when he was supposedly sleeping a couple nights before.

 

My kids do occasionally hear us having sex. I'd never intentionally want to make them feel awkward but its an intimate act that is obvious when done for pleasure. My children are all in high school and they aren't ignorant. They know exactly when my husband and i are having sex.

 

Good that you're working on it. Keep it up, so to speak

It is important for parents to remember that they are also a couple, and not just parents. It's not unreasonable or abusive to tell the kids "We need some alone time" once in a while. It's good for you and your wife, and helps keep the intimacy intact. Keep the romance alive now, or pay for it later.

 

Or have a partner who works strange hours so that he is at home a lot when the children are at school. Clearly my offsping fledged the nest many moons ago and I do sympathise with those of you who are struggling with noise and also children who just barge in without a by your leave! It is what it is and the main thing is - they do eventually take the hint and leave home

 

When I lived at home I could hear my mum and dad having sex

 

I put a lock on the door after it became clear that our kids weren't going to respect a closed one. The wife seemed to have a problem with this issue from early on, telling me "Not now...the kids are up!", to which I replied "Of course they're up. You've been letting them get up as soon as I go to bed every night!". This later changed to "Not now...the kids are home!" and my response to that was "Of course they're home! They live here!"

I eventually got tired of the endless list of reasons. After a while, you begin to realize they're just excuses. We've been divorced for 13 years now. Amazingly, right after our divorce, she got her libido back and hooked up with some guy down south. Turns out all that was wrong with her was that she wanted a new man. Now she's told me she's doing the same thing to him that she did to me, and they're not even married. I told her that nobody needs her to practice celibacy, and to look around and tell me if she's ever known anyone who shacked up or got married so they could practice celibacy. She says she never thought of that. She'll keep destroying her relationships until she stops that, but it's no longer my problem.

Like someone else here pointed out: Take care of your intimacy now, or pay for it later.

 

I am so sorry Captain... It sounds like he wasnt that good to you or her

 

at this point, it could be done on purpose to hopefully encourage them to spread their wings and move out.

 

I will never forget the day that our cat tried to catch the mouse.

 

My wife and I had always been paranoid about the kids catching us or hearing us. They finally caught us the other day, and it was a total non-issue. The kids didn't care at all. They know that sex is for both making babies and pleasure. Nothing was awkward. They know we have sex often. And it was such a non-issue that my wife and I kicked ourselves for worrying about it for so many years. And our kids are at the awkward preteen/teen ages to boot!

 

My family is open and sex is not a big deal. There's a time and place for discretion and everyone knows where to draw the line. But if anyone hears me having sex with my husband it's not a catastrophe. It's just sex and everyone in the house knows it's just a natural part of life.

 

Our house is big enough but it has happened that my daughter has heard us... and it happens that we hear her. Not a big deal and nothing to be ashamed of.

 

Dear letters to penthouse

 

I shared a wall with my parents when I was a teenager and heard their unmistakable heavy breathing from time to time. Naturally I thought it was gross but it didn't bother me that much. Nice to know they're happily married for 44 years now.

 

I believe it is healthy for children to know that their parents are having sex. But too much detail (sounds/visual/etc) could be disturbing.

 

Our children learn about relationships from us, how a marriage should be. We try to be a good example so they are happy in their future. Being open about things is best I feel if they are old enough to ask questions they are old enough for answers. I suppose they have heard stuff, but we don’t want them to think sex is something dirty, and they don’t think that, anyway, how do they think they got here ?