Case in point: Cal: friends since 2001. Knew everything about each other. Had memories. Africans. Someone to talk to all the time. Had anger issues. Sexualized all his friendships with women, therefore no friendship if the possibility of sex is off the table. Hypersensitive, especially about racism, despite being an immigrant (maybe because he grew up in the ghetto). Very blunt. Violent. Beat up three girls, almost beating one to death when she had barely grazed him. Tried to pressure me to have anal sex. Wasn't comfortable: not attracted to him at all, not my thing, and he's too big. Pestered me several times over the course of four hours. Last words before saying goodnight "we're gonna do anal." Sees every little thing as racist, which is annoying: Me: I just interviewed at a Jewish center. It went well. Cal: Oh really? What did they ask you? Me: They asked me [blah blah blah] and if I have a problem ideologically with working with Jews. I told them I don't, that I've been to bar mitzvahs and bat mitzvahs, that I've volunteered at nonpartisan Israel/Palestine non-profits [etc] Cal: I think that's racist what they asked you. I think they would give you a hard time because you're black. Told him I talked smack about my race three years ago on a website. Told him that a year ago. He still hasn't gotten over it: Cal: I think Em's racist. He said 'yeah I was talking to this black guy and he said he's gonna take off for Nigger Day.' Me: Yeah that is racist. He sounds ignorant. Cal: I hate how I'm the token. They say I'm not like the rest. Me: Oh like you're their pet monkey or something? Cal: What the fuck did you say to me bitch?! Me: What? I said like you're their pet monkey or something. Cal: Oh I just heard monkey and snapped. If you were in the same room, I would have smacked the shit out of you. It reminds of that website you went to. Me: Why do you dwell on things? It's the Internet. Who cares? It's free speech. Look at YouTube. Everyone talks trash about everyone else. You know what? I'm upset about sexism like rap music and the double standard, but I deal with it. I once went to a comedy club ad the comedian said that women are stupid cunts who need to fix him a sandwich and STFU. If he said that about black men, it would be all over MSNBC, it would go viral on YouTube, he would lose his reputation [etc] Cal: That's just jokes. Me: So you're okay with white people telling racist jokes? Cal: Lisa Lampinelli is racist and I like her. Me: Oh please. Lisa Lampinelli is not racist. She says she loves black men. I've seen her act. [After three hours of arguing] Cal: You need to get in touch with your blackness. You need to put aside these non-existent issues, and line yourself up with your people. Fuck him.