It's a bit hard to type while tears begin to stain my keyboard.

you know this has me thinking... there is only one entrance/exit to where i live and im not on the first floor.

ive been meaning to get one of those ladder things... that you can attach to your windowsill in case of a fire.... i think ill put that on my priority list.

 

I am in a similar situation, top floor one exit. I have a balcony but in panic I don't think it would help me.

 

i dont even have a balcony. have you ever seen those ladder things im talking about, emily? they're only like 30 bucks.. i think they are a really good idea for people with one entrance and not on the first floor.....

 

Yeah... when I lived in Cali we had one. I should invest as well. Not that a balcony would do much good but yeah you don't have one....

 

I've been thinking lawsuit myself.

 

well yeah i would too. if you dont all ready know, find out how many exits and stuff like that are required by law and if the place wasnt up to what it should have been, defiantly.... like i said, i defiantly would.

 

Stacy would have wanted it that way...

 

very sorry to hear that logan

surely losing a loved one is one of the hardest things to go through

my best wishes for you

 

Dude that sucks...and here I was thinking that I had problems...

 

oh wow....i dont know how i would handle that. i have lost many people too but never a mate ....
i wish you all the peace you can be given in these moments....
wow helps to put things in perspective for me a bit...

 

(((((Lodog)))))

 

I just got back from the wake and funeral. I've cried more in the last 2 days than I ever have in my life. I'm starting to cry now with the thought that Stacy's smile and beautiful eyes will never again grace my presence unless in dreams.

Fuck this sucks!

I woulda never thought something like this would happen.

 

She lives in the hearts of many now, Logan.

 

Then why do I feel so hollow inside?

 

It's not hollow, Logan. It feels hollow. It's a space, but it's not empty. It's filled.

I don't like death. Death is not my friend. I never learned to deal with it. I lost my mother, niece and nephew all in a 48 hour period. Lung cancer got Mom. The kids went the same way your Stacy did. Before that it was my best sister Karen, classmate David, GF Cinda, and my Dad.

You cannot reason it, you cannot explain it, you cannot question it. You can, in time, accept it. You can in time let go of the dead feeling you have inside and she will fill that space too. Hold those moments you two shared in your heart and eventually share them with those around you whom you love. And you will live again.

 

Thank you.

 

I know that feeling. It's sort of like getting the wind knocked out of you, huh.

I guess all you can do is breath through it.

 

You're welcome.

 

The shock is starting to wear off and acceptance is starting to rear it's ugly head. It's very hard for me to express myself like this to you people, but it helps. I'm very emotional right now. Some of her best friends there blamed it on me for some reason too, which didn't help matters for me. I've become more close with her mom and sister more these last few days though than we ever had which is a good thing. I got to play with the neice Stacy never got to.

It's so hard to hold back tears while I type man.

 

Why hold them back?