Father issues

back 2 topic but i hate my father.

 

I do believe in most cases there is a natural bond that exists between a mother and a child that is much deeper than the one that exists between a child and father. However, if the mother is emotionally and mentally unhealthy, she wouldn't necessarily be the better parent for the child to be with. Each case is different. I believe that on average, men are unfairly treated and biased against by the social system that is in place. Each situation is completely different and should be treated, viewed and considered as such.

My ex wife (an alcoholic and bi-polar) wanted to be a there one day, gone the next mom on her own terms and completely hurt and damaged my son emotionally and mentally. My wife and I had to spend years watching this poor kid go out to the mail box for weeks on end after his mom promised to send him a birthday gift in the mail which would never arrive. We had to take her to court not only to force her to contribute to child support but to be more accountable to her son as well.

It definitely worked out well and is a prime example that the mother may not always be the better parent for the child.


Go pour yourself a latte and come on over and browse at: Children's Bedroom Furniture

 

my dad really dislikes me =\

 

Actually, I have one question. My relationship with my parents is perfectly ok. We're not vary close, but have never had any serious comunication problems. I met my bf this summer, and I felt that this time it is different, we spent lots of time together, we built a really strong relationship that is still fonctioning even though I'm studying abroad.
I think my Dad don't like the idea of me being in a relationship... I know it's not the problem with my bf, he's nice and smart, and my father didn't really know him, but he's just too... I don't know, he doesn't like talking about him, he said nothing when my bf came here to visit me and stayed 3 weeks, but I knew he didnt liked it too much... Im almost 20, is it normal to reacti lilke this? A friend of mine told me that probably he would do the same thing for his daughter when she's older, but I'm 20.. But I still feel like I should talk to him or ask him what is the problem. Anyone here has a sugestion?

 

I had to step up and take full custody of my son when he was 10. He had lived out in Phoenix, AZ with his mom for 5 years and he was a mess.

She's an alcoholic and refuses to admit it. She's constantly being evicted from different places and cheats on her husband repeatedly. The idiot continues to go back with her. It makes me sick to think that my son had to survive in this emotional roller coaster for 5 years.

My current wife has been a gem during this whole time. She has really been there for my son where his mother isn't. We finally had to finally take the bitch to court to force her to contribute financially for my son's support.

My son's mother is one of those people who constantly spin the truth out of control with a whirlwind of lies to keep the focus off of herself and the issue at hand (which she's usually the contributor of).

My son is now 18 and doing well in college. He finally see's his mother for what she is...

It's been a tough road, but well worth it...

Thanks for letting me share.

Relax and pour yourself a latte and come on over to:
Children's Bedroom Furniture

 

Am I blessed? I grew up in a typical dysfunctional family, drugs/alcohol/abuse. Years of finding myself led me to deciding no child would spring from my activities. Mother Nature and Father Time saw something in me that I could not fathom. At age 36 I became a father to a beautiful little girl. I wish I were able to describe the pure joy that overwhelmed me when she was born. Circumstances forced her mother and me apart when she was six months old (my stupidity). I cried every night she was away, often sleeping with her blankie to smell her, to remind me. At her first year celebration, we were re-joined. The problems between her mother and I still exsist but are mostly due to her bipolar disorder. From age 2 to 5, I was her primary caregiver and they were the most wonderful years of my life. She is beautiful inside and out. Her first grade teacher commented that she was the most empathetic child she had ever encountered. She is a teen now and it is interesting. We are best friends and discuss everything about her life and I share the traumas of my childhood. Dad's rock!!!!

 

Beautiful^^^^

 

Anytime a parent dies a person goes through a great deal of loss.
I think it depends on the type of relationship the child had with their father and the amount of time that they had to spend with him before he died.
It also depends with the type of child that lost the father. Some children are very secure and more positive so they would probably be able to cope with the loss and reflect on the good times without feeling like they lost out on having a father.Some children are insecure and have had negative thoughts and feelings about their life and they might be more inclined to feel like the loss of their father was a greater loss so they might feel the issue for a long time.When a person gets older though they gradually start to realize that everything is okay and so they become happier and less discontent rules their life.Orexis

 

I wrote a bit about this here, I started to write a message for the forum but it got too long. Anyone who wants to read it, please do.

http://www.hipforums.com/modules/Journal/viewentry.php?journalid=2572

 

Hi there

I am afer a bit of advice I am a father of two girls but my first daughter moved away with her mother whne she was very young abroad and my access has been limited (I love her noe less than if I spent every day with her ) the problem I have just found out that her mother has passed on but the courts wont grant me automatic custody instead she will live with her gran . What can i do to get her back without dragging it through the courts?

 

http://www.biblegateway.com/blog/2011/06/fathers-day-what-makes-a-good-father/ All the truth one needs on what a father needs to be

 

The bible is an outdated set of superstitions. A good father puts his family first by making sure that their needs are met.

 

I love my dad. He is a old hippie from the 60's.We get high and talk about life when we hang out about 3 times a week.

 

Yes this is true daughters are more close to their dad but issue is mothers can brought up girls with more ease then men. you have to teach lots of things to your daughter and It is really difficult to talk about her feeling at many places.

 

So, how'd it work out?

 

I am about to be a first time father next month! I'm 25, in school, full time union worker and I would like to reach out to all the older experienced fathers who raised daughters and get info to prepare myself for raising a well rounded woman.so my questions are
1. Is there anything you wish you could've done differently as far as raising the child and shaping their character what would it be?

2. How were you able to teach the child values and make it clear to them without screaming and becoming aggressive and/or frustrated with them?

All advice will be helpful..I just want to do this right and without regrets also any books or good links to new parent related info would be greatly appreciated

 

This is so sad. This is what feminism has done to society. Men usually have no rights to their children even if it can be proven that the mother is unfit and the children would be better off with their father. Even if the woman is bat shit crazy doing drugs, relying on the government, and raising the children in the ghetto there is nothing that can be done because men are viewed as disposable. Where is the justice here? The government won't do anything because they make money off of women like her. CAS just like CPS will take the children away from any parent whether for good reasons or not because they make money off of every child they bring in. CAS and CPS make money off of how many they can get, how many they can put on psych drugs, and not to mention the many paedophile rings that get swept under the rug by the media. I'm afraid there is not much you can do because as a man you have less rights. I wish there was a way, and I mourn for your sorrows.
I would suggest going to either fact.on.ca or dadscanada.com. They may be able to help you. I wish you luck.

 

that was back in 2008, since then we went to court in 2010 the first time around I foolishly gave her everything she asked for much of especially financially I could not handle, she had custody of all three kids, though after court was over I ended up having them 80% of the time then she gave my son to me full time, she then took him back and then gave him back again, then took him back at that point I had already lost my house I had my son since 2011 in april ( just after his birthday so he was no longer a child day care credit breadwinner for her) I lost my house in the summer of 2012, I was still paying support for all three kids and she was collecting the child tax for them,

she had claimed seperated on our taxes for several years during our marriage to maximise the child tax portion of her credit.

I took her back to court after collecting for years evidence of her drug trafficking, she had covered 50% of her body in tattoos during that time and started having sexual relations with street kids ( she was in her 30s)
during the next stage of our court I held no punches, I was repeatedly accused of non existant abuse c.a.s would investgate and find no abuse had occured yet she would contine her assault on me, her friends who I have not even known started to send me threats I would use them as evidence against her, at one time wile dropping off my son to her fro the weekend her and her mother had pretended that elias had been kidnapped or missing, yet called me to come find him, he was not missing, she wanted to go out on a date and having her son did not fit her schedual, th epolice were called they scorned her but nothing more I collected the incident number for the report an dused that in evidence, she kept on her stance of abuse repeatedly with out ever having any, it turns out that P.A.S parential alienation syndrom is used by many women who allege false abuse and the courts are now aware of this as a tactic, the first time around as well as the second in both cases I was winning despite it all... I had not known the first time and was filled with anxiety and did not make it to trial rather settled before hand, the second time around I was winning again and did not back down, though she offered me a settlement that was fair, full custody for myself of my son elias and she kept the girls, the reality is that they had spent so much time with there mom and had grown accustomed to her lifestyle that taking them from her would not have been good for my kids, I only know my youngest daughter now 5 as a weekend child... it sucks,,, but after years of agonizing pain, depression, suicicde attempts ... I had to accept it was what it was. my wife is a horribve person bent on hurting me. plain and simple, on these forums her mother started to write attacking posts to me and was banned, her mother would creep around my farm and video tape my house at night and when I went outside to chase her away she would present me yelling at her to get off her propert as evidence against. me.... truthfully a despicable shit show was waged.... and yet.... in november 2013 I won my son, eliminated all court ordered child support, I know provide for my daughters directly buying them clotehs and paying into person bank accounts for there future there mom is not aware of the bank accounts as i am sure she would attempot to accsess the funds)

it was a hell of a ride.... it was not fun... I do not wish it on anyone... though the more you know about the court system, the more you dive head first in it and wait it out...cause it will take years the more you know... my suggestion to anyone in this scenerio is get the kids!!!! take HER to court first as you have difacto custody and judges rarely will change that. record everything. call the police if orders are not follwoed and record them... even if this annoys the police even if it makes you look like an idiot... people like that do not stop... they just change their attacks.

I am still attacked by her and her scheming. self justifying behaviour my kids suffer... and it is what it is... I may be half the man I was when this had started and very much in debt. I am now a single working father living with my mom, and though I can not trust my son to see his mom as new years 2014 she decided when he was having a temper tantrum to put him outside in -20 weather without shoes until I picked him up...

.... hell doesnt stop.... but I guess, things do get better......

 

"Ivy is my daughter; she is 6 months and 14 days." in accordance with this post. i agree with vegas. but does is this man sick? is he struggling with alcoholism, or addiction to drugs or something along these lines, because i cant imagine a grown man who calls once or twice a week like that and just doesnt move over to his family, what could possibly be so important to stick where he is at away from his family? Is he just selfish ? or retarded ? if that were the case i think that would be considered some type of illness, it doesnt make sense, unless of course he is sick. Maybe out of extreme guilt or shame he keeps that distance because of a terrible intoxication addiction . and if thats the case. Everyone involved needs address the problem. and ultimately he needs to clean him self up (and that means going to rehab, counseling, whatever it take) so he can have a proper perspective. And even then, its a matter of walking a straight line. Other than that this just might be a completely dysfunctional couple of adults. and the only sane one could possibly be the baby.

 

Never had one. There was a father somewhere, I met him now and then. there was no male role model in my life. grandfather was a nice guy but never spoke. Mom's boyfriends came and went often so no one to want to be like or to show me what men did. Mom was young and knew very little about life. the part of this I really feel bad about is that I did not know how to be a male role model for my children. I just worked hard thinking I was doing what I was suppose to do. I see the lack of my influence on my daughters lives and wish they had better relational skills with men.