Do not home school your kid!

Discussion in 'Home Schooling' started by ToFunToDie, May 22, 2009.

  1. ToFunToDie

    ToFunToDie Senior Member

    I have been homeschooled for 10 years, and it is now my senior year(If i were to be in high school that is) And I realize that i have missed so much in life and I am so depressed about it. Being homeschooled kept me from doing a lot, and putting your child through it, might sound good. But its really not, with being homeschooled, you have no friends, no social life, nothing. And If i could change everything i would of went to school for the past 10 years. I had reasons why I couldn't go to school, I would have panic attacks at school and I couldn't stay in the class room, without my parents. Happened for years and years, Panic attacks at school, Anxiety at school, freaking out at school, just so much stuff and after 2 months of each year i would end up being homeschooled and i may have needed it, but i wish i would of forced myself to go and atleast had some kind of life, and friends. Now turning 18 in like a month i have about 2 friends, who i can call friends. This all could happen to your kid and if you homeschool them through highschool and everything, when they get to graduate, there will be a lot of stress/depression going on with them and they are gonna hate the fact that they didn't get to have what others have. I am going through it and it sucks, and i just wanted you parents to know that homeschooling isn't good for your kids, in the end will cause them to hurt.
  2. Zorba The Grape

    Zorba The Grape Gavagai?

    Depends on the kid, really. I wouldn't assume that everyone else is going to react in the same way as you have.

    Besides, if you have two good friends, it doesn't sound like you're that bad off. I only have two very close friends, and I'm in high school and graduating this year. Going to school does not automatically get you friends.

    That being said, I am glad that I went to high school, because I did meet some great people there.
  3. Tsurugi_Oni

    Tsurugi_Oni Member

    I only have a handful of good friends post-high school. I had a ton of friends in high school, but only because I was in the fishbowl that they call high school. When you reach the real world where your life isn't dictated by the gvt and you can do whatever you want, you'll see how many people friends you really have.

    Don't feel too bad about it man. Although I do miss those school dances, I miss a good ol' bump n grind fest.
  4. ponyiq

    ponyiq Member

    I have two half Nieces that were home schooled. One of them just graduated from college in architecture as number 1 in her class and received a grant that has never been awarded to a woman before.. She is right now in India working on low income housing for the poorest of the poor.. after doing the same in Africa.. She was very involved in her church and there were always a ton of teenagers at their house, kids that went to traditional schools, private schools and home schooled. The younger daughter graduated from high school ( home school ) 1 year early with 5 more credits than the state requires. She had a great full time job that she has excelled in. She had the opportunity to go to college but she wanted to pursue her art// photographyweb creation/ music skills. She is head of the graphics / music department at a very large church.

    I think it depends on why you are being home schooled, the situation, if you are involved with other groups of people, etc. My half-sister had her children involved with church, with other home school groups and with neighborhood kids.. The girls took group music lessons with other kids, dancing , etc.. so that the girls developed strong social skills, and strong groups of friends.

    I would home school if my job allowed.. it doesn't so instead my child goes to a private school due to the size of the classes here in my town ( K had 30+ students in a class and my child is very sensitive, has adhd and is a visual not auditory learner)

  5. NotDeadYet

    NotDeadYet Not even close.

    In the area where I live, most parents who choose home schooling do so to prevent their kids from being exposed to other kids who don't live by conservative fundamentalist christian values, and to give them a heavier academic emphasis in bible study. This is poor preparation for adult life. The kids are going to grow up and live in a world filled with all kinds of people with different values and backgrounds, and they will have employers who care only about job skills, not beliefs.
  6. MissBHave

    MissBHave insert clever phrase here

    Plus there are alot of homeschooling groups and co-ops to make sure your kids get time to socialize with other kids as well as sports and music classes and other stuff to get them involved in. I think it's important to do that if you choose to homeschool, which I do
  7. Duck

    Duck quack. Lifetime Supporter

    His grammar should be proof enough without his testimonial!
  8. MissBHave

    MissBHave insert clever phrase here

    i shouldn't have laughed at that
  9. Duck

    Duck quack. Lifetime Supporter

    Well, you ARE MissBHave.
    That name doesn't suggest you do much that you should do.
  10. MissBHave

    MissBHave insert clever phrase here

    hahahaha touche
  11. I was homeschooled from 6th on up. It's actually not that bad if you've got other ways of meeting kids your age (I've faked religion, don't worry)... I moved to a shitty ass town (when I was about 16) and then it started to suck since I had almost no friends at all... and if I even wanted to go back, the schools down here are pretty sub-standard, not to sound like a snob.

    Plus, it depends on the kid.
  12. NotDeadYet

    NotDeadYet Not even close.

    It also depends on the parents. Not all parents are capable of teaching high school level material. Knowing something doesn't prove that you would be good at teaching it.
  13. MissBHave

    MissBHave insert clever phrase here

    very true
  14. Sebastunes

    Sebastunes Member

    homeschool kid .. you do know that many people who have went thru normal school are depressed and have no friends too right?

    its all down to chance.
  15. MaccaByrd

    MaccaByrd Member

    This is true. Take note.

    However, the original post made me really feel for the kid. It's such a shame someone is feeling so low and cut off from life.
  16. floydianslip6

    floydianslip6 Senior Member

    It definitely can go either way. Come high school though I think it's better to go to a public or even private school. Only reason I'd say that is because I don't really think the great value in high school is the material you learn, yah dig?

    By high school someone is either into learning or they aren't. High school is a time for developing other aspects of your life... eh?
  17. MaccaByrd

    MaccaByrd Member

    Me vs. high school: high school won.
  18. shroomama

    shroomama Member

    I keep seeing this thread and it's bugging me enough that I'll finally respond.

    I have to respectfully disagree with the op. On a less respectful note, sorry, but you sound like a whiny teenager. Ok, maybe you have some extenuating circumstances (panic attacks suck, I know from firsthand experience) but come on, be responsible for your own life.

    My daughter is almost your age and homeschooled. I am not comparing you to her, that would be unfair because I don't even know you. However, she could have easily had the same issues. I'm not saying either that she hasn't had moments of teenage angst where she is lonely or feels like things just suck. That's part of life. I'm 36 and still feel the same way sometimes, but I digress. Anyway, I'm not an outgoing person by nature, our social circle is comfortably small. She went outside of it and made her own friends, through Parks and Rec classes, randomly getting accquainted with people, chatting up kids at the local skate shop, her job, through our local hs co-op, etc. She has friends of many ages and backgrounds. My point is that she doesn't let grass grow under her feet. Btw, this was without any church affiliation as we are not remotely religious.

    Now my other two kids have few friends because we like it that way. We have had numerous discussions about it. Occasionally I ask if they care to broaden the social circle because, of course, I don't want them to be socially inept. They both went to ps for a year and have, on their own, decided that it is far better for them to have the close friends that they do rather than have to spend the day with 30 kids, who they may know, but wouldn't call friends. In other words quality, not quantity, is what matters. I daresay that most adults would wholeheartedly agree with this.

    Most of my friends also hs their kids. The parents make an effort to make sure that the kids aren't cut off from the outside world. The kids make an effort to explore that. It takes concious effort and drive on the part of the parent and the kid. On the flipside, I have seen parents who just don't give a rat's ass and the kid succeeds in spite of this, as well as parents who are gungho and junior sits on his butt eating HoHo's and playing WOW all day. Takes all kinds, but ultimately, we all make our own decisions.

    My point of this long winded post is that it is up to you. It sucks that you're feeling badly and I feel for you. Go to therapy. Take an anti-depressant or whatever if you need it. You are almost an adult. Being an adult means that you can't play the blame game (unless you just want to be a whining mess) you make your own decisions and take responsibility for them. Maybe homeschooling wasn't right for you, but it's water under the bridge. Who are you now and where do you want to go?

    Keep your chin up and I wish you the best.
    1 person likes this.
  19. daisymelan

    daisymelan Professional fence sitter

    OP, were you ever involved in any activities outside of the house? I think if the decision is to homeschool, there has to be another conscious decision to have the HS child active in activities outside of the house for the very reasons you described.

    I'm in a position where homeschooling may be the only way to educate my ds who is 4. Having suffered from panic attacks myself, I can emapthize with you... and know that in your heart, you truly felt you couldn't be in a school environment... Nothing wrong with that. A school environment is so different from the adult norm that I truly wonder why we as a society feel that this is best for us. Putting 30 ppl in the smae room with the only common denominator being age seems very strange. I can't imagine getting together iwth a bunch of 30 year olds just because we share an age. It's just weird.

    Hugs to you, you sound like you need them.
  20. Valdis

    Valdis Member

    I'm sorry for your experience and current feelings. However, I have to say it's now what every feels or experiences when they homeschool.

    My kids have gotten to do and accomplish far more than they would have if they had continued in public school.

    My girl has just started college. She is loving it. She feels better prepared than most of her freshman class.

    I personally know of no homeschoolers that don't socialize and enjoy homeschooling.

    So while your experience and feeling about homeschooling may be very negative, please know that for many, if not most, that is not the case.


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