Difficult orgasm, advice please

Maybe pre-game a little with some couples kind of porn?

 

You are worrying about it too much,just don't worry and it will happen s

 

Not sure I can be of much help other than to let you know you aren’t alone-I pretty much have to use a vibrator during sex to orgasm and it’s something I have struggled with for a long (why can’t I just orgasm while he is thrusting in me) but the fact is: I am not going to orgasm during penetrative sex, period. We have tried every position and it just doesn’t happen. I can orgasm from oral, but it takes a really long time (like 45-60 minutes and by then I get to thinking he might be tired and isn’t enjoying it and that kills it for me so we rarely do it) I can masturbate using only my fingers, but again, it takes a lot longer than using a vibrator. Now I have gotten to the point where we have sex and he cums and that is part of foreplay for me, and then I use a vibrator while he fingers my g spot and those 2 in combo gives me a strong and long orgasm. We play around with the g spot only and so far I haven’t been able to orgasm from that alone, but it gets close so maybe one day I won’t need the vibrator.

 

Thank you for this! It's nice to hear the female prospective. Since I posted this I actually found a free E-book, called "UNLEASHING THE FEMALE O" I'm not sure if it's going to help but I have started reading it. I'll keep you posted.

 

Definitely keep me posted-maybe you will find something out that can help me too

 

Following this thread with lots of interest, fingers crossed for you.

 

My wife and I used to have this problem some years ago. I was also not aware that she failed to orgasm during our normal sex sessions. Now, for the last 7 or 8 years, we both reach orgasm almost every time we have sex. My wife always climaxes first and then I will follow immediately. We have sex at least once a week but occasionally it may be two or three times. We never tried to stimulate the G-spot because my wife is not comfortable with fingering the G-spot. But we do a lots of foreplay so that she gets wet. On many occasions we also watch sex films as part of our foreplay. These are mostly very sensual films with realistic actions by beautiful couples, mainly missionary penetrative sex with creampies. This really turns on both of us massively and my wife orgasms within 10 minutes of penetration and some fingering of the clit. We don't use any sex toys except on occasions a vibrator. Most of the time we enjoy better with no vibrator.

If we are very tired before sex or go to bed very late it takes us a long time to climax. So it is better to go to bed much earlier if you intend to have some quality sex. There should not be any distraction from other people or kids in the house. Also you must not have any unnecessary worries in your mind.

I hope you can give this a try. I wish you have more enjoyable sex

 

I wasn't sure where else to post this but I'm sure you'll all get a kick out of it, lol

 

Only 15 percent of women can reach orgasm regularly from intercourse without direct additional clitoral stimulation. You're in good company.

Whatever else they are doing, the shower head and vibrator are certainly stimulating your clitoris. Using the shower head with your husband pleasuring you in some other way will be difficult unless he is in the shower with you. However, you can use a vibrator during many activities with him.

How to reach orgasm with no vibrator and no shower head? Yes, that is the challenge you've posed. You're going to have to dig deep into your psyche. First, there must be a most pleasurable thing you do with him that doesn't involve the vibrator or shower head. Do what gets you the closest. Now the dig-deep part. To get over the last hurdle and climax, you are going to have to engage him in pillow talk in a way that you have never done before. I don't know what the magic phrase or line of conversation will be for you, but you will look deep within yourself, to that hidden, secret place in your mind, and find it.

Some women want him to pull their hair and say "You're a dirty little slut." Not you? that's OK. For another woman, it might be for him to say while he's buried deep in you, "hurry up and cum, honey, so I can do the dishes, dust the furniture, and vacuum the rugs." Him doing housework not your ultimate fantasy? The point is, you will find it. You just have to keep looking, and be willing to go to that place you have kept hidden, perhaps that you have hidden because you considered it shameful or wanton.

Maybe it isn't something he has to say to you, but rather something you have to say to him that will push you past that elusive finish line while the shower is off and the vibrator is still in the drawer.

 

Thank you all for your advice, I really do appreciate it It is looking like this will just have to be a solo mission from now on so if any women have some masturbation tips, hints, or tricks...I'd love to hear them!

 

You may need to use your imagination more. Your thoughts and feelings influence your experience.

 

Thank you, I will keep that in mind, although I'm not so sure about the spanking. lol

 

Please do not be offended by this question. But are you on any antidepressants?
I only ask because... I was on the offbrand of Zoloft for five years. And I think I had two orgasms in five years. It was frustrating for me and my husband. It took me five years to realize it was the Meds.
After talking with my doctor I am switched different different med. And holy shit it’s like I’m a teenager again. Also I didn’t have my first orgasm until I was in my 20s. Not sure how old you are.

 

I'm not offended. I am not on any medication. I was on an antidepressant once many years ago for a very short time, I didn't like how it made me feel so I don't take anything anymore.
I am 41. Since having written this I still have yet to have an "unassisted" orgasm but I have been identifying some possible reasons and trying to work on them.
Thank you for sharing your experience

 

I don’t remember the statistics but the majority of women require clitoral stimulation in order to have an orgasm. My advice would be to not do any sexual activity for about a week. It will be tough to do but well worth the result! Then after the week is over, get relaxed, put on lingerie that makes you feel like a million bucks then ask your man to very gently begin to eat your pussy, stopping occasionally to lick your inner thighs and around the outside of your pussy, teasing you which will drive you up the wall in a great way!!!!! It’s about stopping what you are currently doing which isn’t working so why continue that?? By no sex for a week, your body will be craving his touch and just the thought of his tongue between your legs will make you wet and very horny for more!

 

I've never met a woman who could orgasm from penetration alone. I think that they are unicorns. However, thanks to a few "Cosmo" magazines left laying around in my formative years, I learned that it is all about stimulating the clit and the best way is with your tongue. I had a GF in college that helped me improve my technique and she got off every time we tried. I have applied that method to all of the subsequent women I have been with.

It's all about her. We're guys. We can get off with a handjob from a granny. It's all about the build up. Warm her up with lots of kissing. Don't forget the neck just below the ears. Maybe a little heavy breathing. Work you way down to the nipples. If she likes it, keep at it for longer than you want. Then work your way down to her belly button, pause for a bit and then go below. Don't go straight for the jackpot. You can breath on her, let her know you are near, but don't touch her clit. Not yet. She wants you to muckle onto it but making her wait helps build up the suspension. Work your tongue around her outer labia. Lots of saliva. Don't penetrate anything. Then worm your tongue into the inner labia...be sure to get close to but don't touch her clit. Her hips should be bucking by now. Now make a few glancing passes by her clit. Nothing more than a passing blow (like when the masseuse grazes your balls). You'll know when she's ready. Then explore her clit and the surrounding area. Try different spots. One LTR loved it just below the tip (like the frenulum) another right at the tip (and so on). When you find that spot...keep doing the exact same thing. Don't stop. Don't alternate. Don't tickle her butt. The slightest deviation can delay the whole thing. She doesn't want you to do exotic stuff. She wants you to move your tongue against her clit the same way one thousand times (never really counted). It's like climbing a mountain. It's just another step. If you find you're stalled out you can do a few things to fire her up. One is to stuff your cock in her mouth. You'd be surprised at how many women are turned on by sucking a cock. But only do this for 10-30 seconds (it's not about you, yet) and go back to stimulating that clit. Another trick (if she's straight out of the shower) is lift her legs a little and work your way down to the starfish. Spend a little time down there and return to the clit. She'll cum and you'll never need lube. Slide up into the prone position and game on.

The only time this wouldn't work was when she was pregnant. I had to use my finger tip (with short nail, I keep them very short and Astroglide or saliva) and stimulate the magic spot.