Jimbee68's blog

And like I said, the lady at that new place said that to be taken off those dangerous psychiatric drugs, I will need the consent of my legal guardian Eric. Those dangerous psychiatric drugs that permanently damaged me and continue to damage me, but my doctors are coerced into silence. No. I will taken off all them right now. I will be taken off all of them right now, all of my medical consent will be restored to me and I will only take them ever again if I decide I want to. After exercising informed consent and having been told all the risks that are involved with them and all the harm they've done up till that point. No.

And I want all of this to end immediately. It has gone way too far. It went way too far 15-20 years ago when the damage began. Neuropathy and Type 2 Diabetes began but my doctors weren't allowed by the court to tell me. Even though I have always been stable and have never been a risk to myself or others. Whether on medicines or off, whatever the circumstances at the time were. I was driven to two suicide attempts by the psychiatric community, the police and many others in my life. But that's different. And if that ever comes up in any way, that is always what I will say. And that will always be my position on that topic. All I want to do now is to live the rest of my life in peace. Living the simple life that I always wanted to live. But they won't let me. I am still fighting battles. Endless battles that are only getting worse. And battles that will never be over with, because in Michigan forms can be fake and court proceedings fictional. Sworn statements can be perjured and serious damage that medicine is done to your body can be kept hidden from you. You can't do that to the worst criminal in the US. And yet they did it to me. And they must be doing it to others too. Doing worst things than that to others, if they think that is what was justified in my case. No, all of that will end right now. And they will admit what they did to me and other, publicly. They will take responsibility. And they will be held accountable. Starting with all who hurt me permanently with those dangerous drugs and continue to do that now. They know who they are, and I want legal action taken now. And people tell me that I must do that all myself. But I can't. I'm old, I'm tired, it was always hard for me to get things done. When I reach out to people with emails, they usually ignore me. And if I did now, the few who would reply would just tell me my case doesn't exist. No.

Also, I was just talking to a couple of doctors today. And again strangely the subject of driving came up. Again, not with me. But they let it slip, again, that their older patients often don't drive. Someone online told me it may be nothing and coincidence, but I don't know. I could be wrong, again. But I suspect a couple of things. Either they are anticipating that I may lose my limbs some day or even soon, and they are gently brokering that possibility to me. People have done that in the past. But I've told everyone my position on that. The people in my life, the ones responsible for all of that and all that got me to this point will make sure I can always drive whatever the cost. Hand pedals, steering knob, whatever is required. Anything except absolute blindness or my being a quadriplegic, in other words. (And I also know at least one doctor or medical staff specifically said that a person could never drive without limbs, in response to something I said when we were talking. I obviously know that, so there must have been some other reason why he said it.) Or, the people in my life could be planning on secretly taking my car away. I doubt that one. But it's possible, and in my life I'd never really know for sure anyways. Or, it could just be another form of psychological abuse again. That was another form of that, psychological abuse. As I said, it seemed to be going on at the same time that police and others were genuinely planning on taking away my car, even though there was no reason for it. Just like in the psychological abuse. And then the threat of losing my car ended, probably around 2014 I now think as I said. But the psychological abuse still continued.

In any event, it's not important. But I still expect it all to end. And I don't want anyone to bring up that subject in my presence again. Older people or people without use of their limbs can't drive. I know it sounds silly, but I am going to look for it from now on. And if anyone ever does that again I will do something about. At least report and expose it.

I was just talking to the guy at that new place about my living arrangements and how they may change some day. As I told him, I'd like to live here where I am as long as possible. It's a big house, all my stuff is already here where it belongs and the way I want it, and there's enough room for me and my cat. I always want to live that way, and with at least one cat. But like I pointed out, my situation is turning very different with the passage of time. I am no longer that young man in his late teens or twenties when you all started abusing me and treating me this way. I am becoming an old man now.

And so this is becoming the abuse, neglect and mistreatment of an old man. With all the legal and moral implications of that too, and what it means for others like me with the precedents it sets. Some people seem to tell me they think that is funny, my being mistreated and neglected as an old man. I don't even know what that means, I honestly don't. I also don't know why the fact I have Cerebral Palsy is important or how that ties into that like it does, or why that is important now like it clearly is. But like I said I'm getting too old for this. And now I am expected to be living this way for the rest of my life. Fighting endless legal battles with no solutions. Trying somehow find a good, free legal counsel. Only to be ignored most of the times I reach out. And then when they do reply they'll tell me they don't know what I am talking about and that my case doesn't even exist. I don't have time for that, I am sick and tired of that and I don't think it's fair to me or to others my age and in my situation. And plus on top of it all I'll never really know when this is all over with. Even if someone were to reassure me and tell me if it was, even it they were to bend over backwards to prove it to me, I'd have to think they may still be lying. And no one has even had the decency to try that yet.

There's also the issue of what if I suddenly decline one day. Our family physician Dr. Kaniowski was telling me about this around 2007 when my father took a beta blocker. He told me a slip on the ice or a sudden illness can make you suddenly decline. Even when you appear young and health then, for your age. That is where I am now, but because of that talk with him I know how that can suddenly change. And I'd lose everything if that happened. Or at least the life I am accustomed to. I know there's a lot of noticeable symptoms and symptom changes in my feet and hands in even the past couple of weeks. It could be nothing and I do have a tendency to exaggerate things in my mind, and to make mountains out of molehills. But something seems different. And plus all my doctors are clearly lying. And lying about that specifically, my neuropathy and that status. It all seems to have begun when I went to Vascular Centers of America in July 2024. And they told me everything was fine. But when I got back to my other doctors they told me with a grave look that is not correct. Everything is definitely not fine with me and I definitely do have neuropathy.

But like I said, I expect to always live independently, in a nice house. With enough room for all my possessions and my cat, and to always have at least one cat as a pet. And to drive always. Which like I said I now consider the responsibility of the police and all the others who put me thru that for two decades. Wrongfully and putting me in horrible danger like that. I will always bring that up in every new situation along with what they did. And I expect a comfortable existence too. I don't think I am spending that much money. My tastes aren't that expensive. I don't like expensive food and I don't eat at fancy restaurants. Life is just expensive, and I not used to any other standard of living. This is all that expect.

Also there's probably a lot more to what people were doing and planning behind my back that I still don't know. I try not to speculate when I can. But I have reason to believe that people were trying to put me away some place for the longest time. Wherever they could, even though I've never been a danger to myself or others. Like I said, my therapist recently admitted that the police have been observing me for some time, even though I've done nothing wrong and have nothing to hide. I've never even been to jail. But I know my Uncle Al for one thought I should be there. To get the psychiatric treatment I needed he said. It would be better to get it there. And plus he just didn't like me. He thought I was spoiled and had life too good. And I used the word explicitly once and asked to go to 7-11, which made sure to tell me every Sunday he never forgave me for. Everyone in my family knew he was the one who belonged in jail after all the abuse he did to his adopted son. But we weren't talking about him, we were talking about me. One this is certain, despite doing nothing wrong those above people didn't think I was entitled to good things. A car, a nice home, even an occasional walk in the park when I felt down. And they were always trying to take those things away from me when all I was ever trying to do was live my life. Trying to do that ever since I was that little handicapped boy, the little boy too ugly to beg even.

And now I'm harmed and damaged from those medicines. I'm an old man helpless and alone. Eric harmed me thru in the secrecy of it all. And usually the people who harmed you are the ones who legally have make sure that you have all you need to live from then on. For life and with all the damage they did to you. You would think that. But Eric is done with me, after I dared to complain about it all. I may lose my car with loss of my limbs to neuropathy, basically like the police always wanted for the past two decades. And I don't even know what is wrong with me. My doctors still aren't allowed to tell me about the neuropathy. Some kind of gag order obviously. But not only is it much too late to avoid the permanent damage the caused, but it might be getting worse. With symptoms in the past couple of weeks, and in my hands. My neurologist never even told me about me hands, when he finally stopped talking about the subject. And my cases still doesn't exist, and I have to wonder who else they harmed this way or did something like this to. I'm an old man, helpless and alone with an uncertain future and the possibility of losing all if I lose my hands or feet or all four and become a quadriplegic. With most of my life over and much of it destroyed this way and with their psychological abuse. And now I am face too with an unending task and a problem with no solution. I am supposed to call endless lawyers and free legal aid organizations. Most of which will just ignore me. And when they finally do get back with me they'll just say it says online that my case doesn't even exist. Because nothing is being done. Like I said, it seems to me the people who got me here and did this too me bear some legal responsibility to make sure I am well-cared for from now on. Or moral responsibility. But no seems to notice and care. And if things don't stay the same now they seem to only get worse too.

Also, I don't mean to repeat myself yet again, and I think this will be the last one for tonight. But the harm they are doing to me now can be prevented. The neuropathy is permanent, the other damage the years of high sugar levels in my blood can't be undone, the years they took from me starting in grade school from abuse can't be given back. My doctors say the Type 2 Diabetes went away and is gone now, but that could be a lie. Some of the things they say conflict with each others, or sometimes just with themselves the previous visit, so those are obviously lies. So I don't know. But the damage is clear, as is the fact I'm an old man now who has lived most of his life. But whatever damage they are doing now can be stopped. The physical damage to my body, and just really the damage of forcing me to fight this last battle. Some damage can be avoided an undone, and it starts with people taking responsibility for what they are doing and what they have done, who they are covering for, and admitting that it's all wrong.