When Your Lifelong Friend Leaves (Revisited)

I'm going to start therapy in about two weeks. It's long overdue. I haven't seen anyone in over 30 years (and he was mediocre at best).
Getting in touch with feelings is my concern of the moment. Any feeling that needs to be expressed tends to be anger. I get angry at robots that pose as telephone receptionists and are programmed to say sh*t such as, "I'm sorry, I'm having trouble understanding what you're saying..." That pushes my buttons since a robot is a non-sentient creation and experiences neither sorrow nor understanding."
...
My lifelong friend was someone I met right after graduation from high school. She had another year to go in Baltimore and she was planning on studying in New York City to a private Catholic college on a work study grant.
She lived the vegetarian life. Diet and exercise were no strangers to her. She danced. She'd go swimming. She ran track. And she made salads and spaghetti with vegetarian options and drank lots of TaB and loved macadamia nuts.
Then, her health took a nosedive. And all the crap that was attached to the genes created in her from mother and father came alive and slowly destroyed whole organ systems. Her gallbladder was removed. She developed diabetes. Her blood sugar was uncontrollable. Her electrolytes were outside normal limits. She was nauseous and edematous and at times couldn't stand up. Her legs were so swollen that if she were on the ground, she couldn't bend them to lift herself up.
I was with her for her 64th birthday. She died in the hospital a few days later. I was gone by then.
I was angry when I heard the news. And every time I want to call her on the phone to tell her something funny, I'd be angry again. "Why the f*** did you have to die on me? You know I don't have a lot of friends and don't make new ones too easily."
She couldn't help it. She didn't want to die. She had two beautiful granddaughters from an only begotten son. Who'd want to leave that?
I miss her and I hope that one day a spirit that was hers might come to visit me while I'm still on the earth because I sure as heck have no idea what's going to happen to me after life leaves this body of mine.