To Summarize.

Just to finish the story, and fill in the details again. When I was a little boy I thought I'd have a normal life. And why should I? I'd have a normal job. Maybe as a veterinarian, I thought at one point. Then on that day on the playground in the sixth grade, 1979 or 80, it all changed. I found I was too ugly to have a normal life. I was too ugly to even beg. A job of any kind was certainly out of the question. How would I even eat? But by my Freshman year in HS I just found I was happiest by myself anyways. And I stopped carrying what others thought of me. Even what onlookers thought if they saw me acting odd. What business was it of theirs? Until when I became a young adult when people told me I couldn't even have that. I was selfish and lazy, they told me. And immature, because I liked coffee and donuts too much. We have a place for people like that. It's called a mental hospital. Around the early 90s I was told I probably was handicapped in some way. Maybe disorganized schizophrenia, was the first thing I was told. Told that by 1987. And then in 1992 they told me I was a paranoid schizophrenic. Which seemed like an obvious insult. From news reports and the movies, it seemed. A paranoid schizophrenic who wore gloves, they said. The threats and the insults that continued were still hurtful and personal, and still surrounded that general theme. That I didn't deserve good things or a nice life. Or again, why don't you just work? was still repeated. I was already the victim of abuse in 1988 and 9. But it was obviously wrong, so I viewed it differently by now. But I was still just trying to live my life, which like I said was never expensive or extravagant. And then more tragedies followed and more threats. Many of them surrounding obvious injustices now, and very unequal treatment of me. Almost like how I interpreted the plot of a video I saw in 2004. And now most of my life is over, many years have been stolen from me that way. Stolen having me live in fear and panic of something horrible sometimes. Most of my life has been lived, and now my life is turning into that of an old man who has to deal with all of this abuse and nonsense now. Abuse and nonsense and dealing with a problem that I will never know when it ends.