My Mission.

I just thought of something, though I have thought about it a lot in the past too. Keeping information of the side effects of psychiatric medicines from patients. Like I've said, that first psychiatrist I saw in 1984 Dr. Thorburn started all that. He claimed he never heard of akathisia. It's just not a side effect he heard of or that he would associate with that medicine, those last words being his words. And it turned me into a virtual invalid. I couldn't possibly function the rest of my life that way on that Haldol, and he was fine with that. I am still not sure all these years later why he thought I needed it. It wasn't doing anything for me. It was supposed to take away that malevolent personality I now call Merde. But it certainly didn't, it seemed to make him more angry and defiant if anything. But he was going to keep me on it indefinitely, until I had the wherewithal to take myself off it. I told him that just before my Christmas vacation of 1984, whenever that was. But before Christmas IAE. And my functioning and my normal life slowly returned to me. My normal life and my quality of life. Like I said, I kind of celebrated all of that taking my first nightly excursion April 3, 1985. Both the practice and the name, because I thought some of my ability to express myself verbally had returned. I was sure I had brain damage by then, and often talked to doctors about that for years after. But some of that returned, which is why I chose that name as I tell people. Also important, according to the dates I keep, my parents and I started the tradition of going out looking at Christmas lights during the holidays. But they were playing the 1968 Star Trek episode Spectre of the Gun on local WKBD channel 50. That was December 23, 1984 and I was totally out of it then. I did not enjoy the trip at all, though I tried. All my functioning, all my ability to take care of myself, was severely effected by that Haldol. And I was taking the lowest dose, I remember. But I always remember my decision to stop the Haldol helped save Christmas that year. But I don't know, because you know for me Christmas was really December 24 when we had Christmas dinner. Christmas day would not be really Christmas to me, strange as that sounds. So I might have been still affected on December 24. I honestly don't remember. I might have meant it saved Christmas vacation for me when I thought that. Or maybe even New Years Eve or the time up till that, which is also considered Christmastime, at least in my family or where I live. So again, I don't know. But I just know I could never function or live that way.

But anyways, no one in my family seemed to know what was going on. My aunt, who was genuinely concerned, wondered if I had narcolepsy. No one in my life seemed to notice anything was odd. I told Dr. Thorburn one day that I had to stay home the whole day and had no homework I literally slept the whole day, from midnight to midnight. Doesn't that seem odd? I asked him. He didn't say much to that. But long story short, I had horrible reaction to the Haldol the next year. And my mother told me she looked up my side effect in a medical text book she got used that called it motor restlessness, or just restlessness. (And I also later concluded Thorburn was obviously lying to me when he said he never heard of that side effect. What other explanation could there be?) But what this is all leading up to is that I think there is a system in Michigan, or maybe Detroit, or maybe again just in my life, I don't know. That they lie to you about the side effects of these psychiatric medicines. Some of the side effects are dangerous and damaging. Or frankly I always thought the pain akathisia can cause some patients is bad enough. It's harmless in itself, but it has led to trips to emergency rooms I later read. And it was kept from, that information. I am going spend the rest of my life looking into that. Looking into it, uncovering it and exposing it. I can already hear people doubting that and thinking I can't. But fate has a way of helping me even when I least suspect it. So don't count me out.

I have also already gone into all other things in my life that have been proven or exposed. That my doctors have admitted to, and so that you could never say again were the work of my imaginary friend, like some people have said. Old classmates and others. Some lawyers online have even told me they've never heard of such things. Well I have, I am living that nightmare now. Like I said, that includes telling people's neighbors terrible things about them if they are mentally ill. You should never tell people's neighbors terrible things if they were true, especially in place like Detroit where it could be very dangerous, along with telling them they are gay or that that has something to do with it, which like I said it seems it has. Going back at least to Sinai-Grace hospital in 2004, when I came out to them for the first time as gay and proud of it. Though in reality I don't think I ever had a problem with it. I don't think it's considered a mental illness anymore either. Though like I said that one staff in 2004 seemed to feel differently. Also like I said, there was something bizarre going on in my life involving the police in my car. My former therapist confirmed that and that that wasn't the work of my imaginary friend either. Actually starting in 2011 my therapist revealed a lot surprising things that really happened. Some of them they didn't go into detail, but they told me they happened, they happened. I was a good driver and one the few people in Detroit or even should have been driving. I was law abiding and minding my own business in a city where the police should have had better things to worry about. Where there aren't enough resources to solve all our murders, and yet they spent so my time and resources on me. Following me to parks, trying to take away my car, invading my solitude and driving me to desperation and all the rest I have listed.

Well anyways, we are going to look into all of that. I have the time, I have the rest of my life. It has been forever shortened by the hidden damage those medicines did to me, but we'll see about that too. I don't give up that easily, I tend to fall into a pattern and do things repetitively for the rest of my life. And I will, all those issues I've mentioned with those three at the top of the list. Maybe I have mild OCD, I don't know. I only recently found out I probably have autism and a coupe of other things too. But now you all will have to content with that as I live the rest of my life doing that. Exposing you, stopping you and seeing some real justice is finally done here. For me and whoever else you may have done this to.