More.

There's another thing I've wondered for some time, or actually a couple of things. First of all, what exactly do people think I've done that they would treat me this way? The police and the court seem to think harm and coercion and secrecy that leads to harm that you couldn't do to the worst felon, or so they say, was done to me. And my former therapist admits the police have been following me around for years and watching me. Admits by which he meant that he agrees that it was wrong and unjustified. But still. Why did they think that was not only necessary at all. And why did they think it was justified? Like I said, the only possibility was that people were told some terrible lie about me. And they did bring that up at Oakwood Hospital in 1992. But as I've said, felons and evildoers have certain rights too, even if they now realize I never was one. That is why you should never treat someone like that. Treat someone in a way that not only is mistreatment for anyone, even the worst member of society, but clearly against the rules. It's kind of like they say about capital punishment. It's irreversible and you might have the wrong person. Actually some people who were incarcerated wrongfully have the same injustice done to them. They've had years of their life stolen from them. But it still must have been obvious to people I've never even spent the night in jail. And yet they still treated me this way.

And different rules seem to apply to me. People say that there is no secret guardianship program, anywhere. And yet my doctors tell me clearly I am in one. So does that mean there is one just for me? That doesn't make any sense. And I'm am still trying to figure out why this problem doesn't have a simpler solution. The people who did this to me should pay for it, and there must be someway for me to just maintain the simple, lower middle class really, existence I am used to. I'm down to buying expired food, like I said. Disability or something. I didn't even realize until 2011 that I had Cerebral Palsy, and a couple of things to. Undiagnosed. But they still remain undiagnosed. I always knew my problems of organizing things, that would make something like a fulltime job virtually impossible, were not my fault. Why doesn't that qualify me for some kind of help? People do this to me, I'm getting much too old for this, something needs to be done. And when my doctors revealed what was going on a couple of years ago it looked like something would be done. But that's where it ended. No progress since then clearly. And now my neighborhood friend apparently tells me that's it's going to get worst. And after damaging me and harming me and doing into my old age they are going to just blame me for all of it in the end and lock me away and close the door behind me there for good. All I wanted was a simple life and a simple existence. I have never had expensive tastes. I was even trying to make the best of the time now without a car as I wait for the flat to be repaired. I've always been able to make the best out of situations like that that most people would not like. Blackouts and thunderstorms and minor catastrophes. And then he ruins it by saying that. And Eric was supposed to contact me by now to help me. That guy at that new place seemed to say so. All I ever wanted was for people to leave me in peace and let me live the simple life I wanted. All my life I was told that wrong, that was selfish. But now that I have come to the realization that they were always wrong it makes no difference. They still want me to believe that. Or that's the going joke, like that plastic glove joke in 92. And I thought the whole world was watching, maybe it isn't. Maybe these messages are being intercepted as I send them. It just doesn't seem this could be happening and it just seems someone somewhere would help me by now when they hear my story and how outrageous I have been treated. Not just now but all my life. But nothing, nothing like that at all is happening. It's outrageous and it's hard to believe people could be that way. I only lived at home those six years I was ill. But now I do go out and travel long distances. Even if what happens inside my house were somehow intercepted (and no I am not saying I know it is), like I tell people I am at least aware of the passage of time and long distances. But even outside, who knows. If someone is planning this they've gone thru a lot of trouble. But spent most of their time and resources on hurting me. And now I am an old man. Why don't they already see that and quit whatever it is they are doing.