More On Where Things Stand Now.

Like I said, I am in a desperate situation. I have a status like that of an animal to the Detroit police. They don't bother to do me the common decency of just asking before they want something. They take me away by force. Force and deception what they feel is always justified with me. Them, Wayne County Probate Court and many others. And they treat me like a child. They lie to me and lie to me and never stop even when I point it out. Like you would a child.

My doctors warned me Eric was my legal guardian a couple of years ago. Not trustee, not even conservator. Legal guardian, plain and simple. And just to review, at some point Wayne County Probate Court was supposed to come to me and pretend like they were finally being honest. He is your legal guardian, for 15 years now, they were supposed to say. Then after brief period of time they were supposed to contact me and lie by saying the matter has been resolved. We are still in the obvious lie stage. Not that I care at this point, but we are still hopelessly mired in that stage. We never moved on. And if they or Eric are saying I should play along, I refuse to. I made that clear long ago and that will not change. And Eric told me yesterday thru a text he is not my guardian. Hasn't he been following what I just described?

I have no legal status, no rights, no consent, horrible things are being done behind my back. And I don't even know what is going on. I thought maybe by now some progress would be made. People in my life were hinting and even saying that they agree the car issue is an important one and I have a valid point with all of that. But then September 15th happened and now I lost Eric. How could I ever afford a car now? It's not negotiable plain and simple. There will never be any change in that fact till the day I die. I've made that very clear and I will not move from that position ever, ever, ever. Just the group home alone is a frightening possibility that having a car protects me from. Because in addition to being threatened, abused and horribly neglected there, I would forever lose my contact with the outside world. My cries for help would be forever silenced. And Eric was supposed to buy me a nice new car in the new future. Now my financial institution says that I can buy a new one. What if I need one with hand pedals? Or some other special feature like that? I don't think they even sell handicapped-accessible cars like that used. I don't even know how you get a handicapped-accessible car to begin with.

And Wayne County Probate Court and the Detroit police secretly damaged me like this. Damaged me long before I could do something about it, at least tell others. (And now the new nurse practitioner I saw last Wednesday said that 2.5 mg of Olanzapine is a totally harmless dose. Like someone said at Sinai-Grace recently. At first I almost believed her. But then she said 7.5 mg would probably do no harm either. That I know to be a lie. Those 10+ mg of Olanzapine are what gave me the permanent damage to me feet. My doctors finally told me. The symptoms of me feet may be getting worse. If it was raised who knows what harm would be done. And what would happen if I was in a group home or even inpatient again? I'd be at the mercy of whatever they were doing and whatever new lie they were telling me.) It seems to me that they really should share some responsibility for making sure I always have a car, especially one that I may need now that I have permanent damage and the symptoms seem to be getting worse in the past couple of weeks. If not legally then at least morally. But I still seem to have low status and little worth in their eyes.

I am going be 60 in less than three years. I was really hoping all the abuse would end and I could relax and have some quality of life. Not an expensive life, just a simple quality of life is all I ever wanted. But I have that forever taken from me now. I will never have peace of mind ever again and I don't even know what kind of quality of life I will have now that the abuse begins again like it did 20 years ago in Sinai-Grace hospital. Despair, hopelessness, no peace, possibly even panic will set in too eventually. But Wayne County Probate Court, the Detroit police and all the others in my life created that situation now. And they only want to make it worse and they don't feel the least bit responsible for any of. And on top of it I lose my last relative, my last helpline to the word. I have no friends or family and for the first time in my life I am truly alone and there seems no solution. Only probably more trouble to follow. All being planned without consulting me.

EDIT: I forgot to add. And, about half my doctors admit that Eric is my legal guardian. Others freely admit it too, though some still deny it. Not trustee, not conservator, legal guardian. So just to make sure everyone knows what position I am in and where things stand now. When someone tells me Eric is simply not my legal guardian, I know they are lying. Not suspect. I was told, so I know. And when they plead with me to believe them, they reassure me, and insist it was simply never true. Well, let's just say I still know what I just told you and so then I have to put that in its right context too, to use a technical word.