More On Things Now.

I sometimes have problems understanding human social interactions and predicting human behavior. But sometimes things I see just don't make sense and I don't think they ever will. Like when I was taking an English-composition class in Spring of 1988. And I just wrote an essay that said God helps those who help themselves. And after I read it there was a long silence in my group. And then a Southern woman there almost screamed. Because I said God helps those who help themselves? My teacher was kind critical it seemed as she wrote her correction of it by pen. Like she didn't agree with what I said for some reason. I read and reread the essay several times. And I still don't know what could have been so horrible about it. I was getting more skeptical of religious beliefs by then. But I didn't write anything overtly blasphemous or controversial. In fact I was trying to avoid that. Or like when I tried to join the Straight Dope message board in late 2001. I was very careful by then not to use the wrong words, not to say even the slightest wrong thing, and even to use the fewest words, just to be on the safe side. I just wrote that in Michigan it was a felony to try to return to many pop bottles or cans. Which I thought was an obvious swipe at homeless people. I didn't even include the fact I thought the law was unconstitutionally vague, so people didn't think I was trying to sound like a lawyer or something. And I included the Anatole France quote on grand majesty of the law, from my book of quotes at home. I guess it might have been a little melodramatic. But after all it was just a quote I was sharing. What could go wrong with that? The first person to respond said that sounded like an interesting topic. But then a moderator responded. He was very angry for some reason. Then he, and others on the board, started attacking me. Saying I was a waste of time to insult. And apparently very angry it seemed that I even had opinions, or thought I was entitled to them, for some reason. I didn't get upset. But then they started making fun of the way I talked. And whenever I asked why they were insulting me and degrading me so much they'd pause. And then they'd say it was because I was offering an incomplete argument. And then go back to verbally attacking me. I had no idea what they were so angry about. But it didn't seem like I did anything wrong. Plus I knew childish name-calling is never justified, so it couldn't be my fault. Until a woman joined in, without insulting me. She clearly wasn't going to take part in the insulting and belittling. But she still told me she didn't agree at all with what I wrote. What did I write that could be so bad?

I'm also confused by all of this. I have been reaching out for several years now to many people. And clearly no one wants to help me. The attorney general, others in law enforcement, various media, various other people like that. It seems someone would want to help me by now. But no one does it's clear. And I know I've done nothing wrong. I'm a good person. And I have no moral flaw and there's no other reason that would justify such treatment. But clearly no one is going to help me. Something would have happened by now. But clearly nothing has. I know when I was younger and more angry I would have a tendency to feel that some people deserve to be treated the way I have been. Damaged, harmed, having horrible damage kept hidden from me, denied all access to the legal system, treated I have no rights, given a status even below that of a criminal sometimes. I used tend to feel some people deserve to be treated that way. But I now know that simply was never true. But those are all the ways I am being treated. And I haven't even done anything to deserve it. And like I said I sometimes still get this glimmer of hope that maybe people are diligently working behind the scenes to help me. But they aren't, are they? Plus with all the damage that was secretly done to me I will need special help and special care now for the rest of my life. And in any other situation the people who did this thing that was done to me would be responsible for all of that. But they aren't, are they? No one is going to help me in any way. I'll even have to continue cleaning the house and not get help with that, with beginning of the mobility issues this secret harm has done to me. And like I said, living at home with a car to drive is vital. Not just for all the reasons I knew of in 2005. Not just my life and safety, as I've known more recently. But also to avoid neglect and abuse and to make sure my final cry for help is not forever silenced I now know. But that is uncertain because no one seems to care, no one wants to help, no one is even in my life now for me to turn to. Things now are getting much worse not better, now after September 15th. And on top of that, I don't know what the Detroit police are planning and scheming. Not only are they not being held responsible nor feel in even the slightest way responsible for all I just said. But now I know they might haul me away at any moment in a sick attempt to help me when all I am trying to do is relax and have some kind of life.

And like I said, this is a new form of abuse. I know it is and I plan on exposing it as such for the rest of my life everywhere I go. And on top of it all I am supposed to believe this all my fault. Like I said I sometimes have problems understanding human social interactions and predicting human behavior. And now I am supposed to believe that in what time is left, my life was destroyed and I was left alone and destitute because of my fault. All because I dared speak up and criticize someone. Is that correct? Is that why I am going to be paying for this for the rest of my life? Is that why my life is destroyed and any chance of a normal life gone? Because it was all my fault? And that is what I am supposed believe for the rest of the limited time I have left now?