It isn't you, it's me

At a time in my not so distant past, I had looked at Wicca life choices. I enjoyed the fellowship/community and most of the rituals that were performed. Unlike the masses, however, I am NOT an outdoors person. I feel most comfortable alone or with one other person. I question a religion that prescribes the number of persons who have to be in a group in order for a rite or ritual to happen or to be valid.
Can you imagine a religion that explains if you want to say a mourner's prayer for your deceased parent, you must join an all-male prayer group of at least 10 others? No thanks.
After the lifting of COVID restrictions, many groups are returning to the live action. One such group I attend has a meetup in a park. The person who sent out invitations is getting mighty pushy and wants to know why I haven't RSVPed ... considering the event is on waitlist status. Hey, Lady, if you've got so many people as to already have formed a waitlist, why the heck are you nagging me?
Truth is, I'm not feeling the connection right now. Maybe I'm looking for something else. Maybe I'm thinking of returning to a past practice. Maybe I'm planning on having nothing in my life for awhile. Or... maybe... I just don't feel like sharing with you. (She's a bit of a blabber-mouth).
So I remain mute. And I get text messages that never end. She's needy. She's whiney. She's gosh-darn annoying. Even after I say, "It's not you. It's me," she still doesn't get the hint. How much clearer need one be? Does a piano need to fall on her?
Well, that's that on that for now. My spiritual void will be a lifelong ponderance.