I tend to avoid the hetero-normative patriarchal paradigm

Where the f**k does one begin?
Sometimes I experience something likened to a flashback, or a rêverie, or a conscious meditative thought
about how and where I grew up and about how wild things were and how glad I am that i have managed to pull myself through that era without disease or deformity.
The worst things that ever happened were body lice and a curable infection.
But meeting, and dating and first base, second base, third base and the exchange of pleasantries was different for me because at an early age I knew that I would not be comfortable conforming to the hetero-normative patriarchal paradigm. I have enough trouble deciding whether to check the top or bottom option. I wonder if you can say you're versatile if you mean that you can say no to either option with equal facility.
The picture I chose is one of two men who are possibly going to meet for the first time. The man on the left received a very angry phone message from the guy on the right. The guy on the right sent a smiley emoji to someone whom he thought was going to be the love of his life. But the emoji never got responded to. So the angry writer picked up the red phone and dialed the lover and gave him a good what-for. Unfortunately, the recipient of the angry message was a wrong number. Yet, he seemed intrigued.
The story deals with difficulty in communicating how one feels vs what one feels comfortable revealing to another. What if I reveal my heart and the recipient laughs at me. Or steps on my heart. Then there is the matter of not being intellectually equal. The professional man speaks like a snob. And the young man in the bar likes to talk about his workout in the gym.
What is family? One of the men refers to his relationship with his family as complicated. The other has a mother who dotes on him. His mother lives by the credo is something to the effect of: As long as I live, you will always have family, you will always be loved, and there will always be a place for you at the table. Who wouldn't want that?
My dreams are not within the realm of possibility. One fine day, I hope to meet someone who would agree to be a long term friend and love me for who I am, a man who lives outside the hetero-normative patriarchal paradigm.