I Just Thought Of Something.

Also I just thought of something. That incident with the Detroit police taking me away July 22nd. Everything in my life was peaceful and going well. And food safety? As I had been sharing with people including my doctors, I'm actually dealing with the issue of food safety better. That was done for some reason. I already pointed out that all of this, including Eric leaving me in a desperate situation with no funds to live on, is a form of psychological abuse. All of it is, I know it is. I know most would find that fantastic. But I know it is, and I'll spend the rest of my life proving it to people as I said. But all of this, all of this is leading somewhere. I think they are trying to make me panic. Not just make me desperate like in the past, but put me in panic mode now. It doesn't seem like they would want me to harm myself or something like that out of panic. People in my life have gone out of their way to assure me of that. But I don't know anymore, because clearly that is what they are doing. And I told everyone as of now my approach. The abuse of me is deliberate, all my problems in the past including my two suicide attempts were caused by the abuse and the abuse alone, and my approach from now on is to expose this all. And now I am dealing with the possibility of going some place like a group home or even inpatient, once again knowing it can happen when I least suspect it, and having all my forms of contact with the outside world cut off. But I can't let that make me panic.

As I said, I would so much rather be enjoying and living a good quality of life now. Because such a simple life is that to me. To me a good quality of life costs so little. And I was remembering just now of that time period just before Sinai-Grace hospital forever destroyed my peace of mind in April 2004. I had a pretty good quality of life then. But I forever lost it then and there. And I never got it back. I still want that simple, good quality of life. But they still won't let me have it will they? Instead I have to be fighting this. Right when my life almost seemed like it would return to some simple, good quality existence again.