Hard up

It's a simple term; meaning in need or poor. Hard up for cash would make the expression somewhat clearer.

There were times in my past when money was tight and getting by was very difficult. When I moved at 26 from NYC to San Francisco in my 1979 tan colored VW Rabbit (with automatic transmission), I didn't have a good-paying job waiting for me. I worked as an office temp. And I lived in an SRO (single-resident occupancy) hotel in the Tenderloin. I fought roaches and lived with a hot plate. The single window faced an air shaft. I shared a toilet and a shower with my neighbors.

Managing money was never a specialty of mine. When you don't have a lot of it in ready cash, it's difficult to pay for things. Never bounced a check and never filed for bankruptcy. It doesn't mean that life was easy. There were times when I washed my clothes in a tiny sink in my room and used the same soap that I'd use in the shower. I lived on two meals a day (sometimes just one) that was generally an egg, rice, canned fish, or a cereal dish.

And I had the smoking habit back then; although in the 1980s, cigarette prices were at least somewhat affordable. I shared a carton with a friend who got hers from the Price Club (the former name of the store known as Costco).

I've tried opening my home to people with the dream of a communal existence. It would be one person or two at most. But the ones I took it also had sketchy incomes or weren't interested in sharing the responsibilities of maintaining a place. One had girlfriends who would visit him at whims. I always kept the door unlocked and one such girl (who was a pole dancer) would make herself comfortable. I was not amused when I went to the kitchen in my boxers and found her rummaging through the refrigerator.

Money doesn't always last from pay check to pay check. I wish it would. I've learned how to make do and to get by. I only work one job. I cut my hair every three years. I seldom eat out. I don't go to movies. My travel is modest. I don't drink, smoke, or take recreational drugs. I buy good tea from a tea shop and store brand coffee. I shop at ALDI, Trader Joe's, Grocery Outlet, and Sprouts. I also go to Latin and Asian supermarkets for specialty foods. I no longer have pets.

I may not be rich, but I am no longer hard up.