Yep, another relationship question

so i've been talking to this girl for the past couple of weeks and i really wanna get with her

the problem is, she has a boyfriend. now, she's been talking to me a lot and she's been very cute and a little flirty and she texts and IMs me all the time. she seems very happy talking to me. she talks to me as if i were her bf...

i'm not sure what she wants! i assumed she wasn't happy with her boyfriend and she was coming to me because she wanted to get with me, too. she just posted a facebook picture with her and him together and she put "<33" as the comment

WHY IS SHE TALKING TO ME IF SHE'S HAPPY WITH HER BOYFRIEND??

i flirt with her so she knows what i'm thinking and she's leading me on

should i keep up what we have together and try to strengthen it in hopes that she breaks up with him at some point? i like talking to her but i don't want to be trying towards something that might not happen for a while

i want to be straight with her and say "why are you talking to me so much? i'm not your bf so either dump him and make me your bf or quit leading me on"
would saying this just scare her away? i feel like it would

what do i do?

 

she wants her cake and wants to eat it, too... not cool..

i think you should go with your gut and be straight with her
yeah it puts her on the spot but if she can't handle that then i say let her go.

just my 2cents good luck

 

People can be in love with someone and still be attracted to someone else. Shit, people can even be in love with more than one person. Maybe she's not leading you on and is just having some difficulty in making a decision. Maybe she's leading you on. Only she knows.

Whatever the case may be, you should bring it up and let her know how you feel about the situation. Honesty is always the best way to go when it comes to matters of the heart.

 

keep talking to her, but dont give her your 100% attention.
put her on the back burner for awhile. only answer like half of her texts and IMs.
just be whatever about it, and stop all that flirty shit.
if she asks you whats up about it, like you're doing something wrong, thats when you confront her about having a boyfriend and what she wants with you.
if she dosnt really notice then she's probably not interested.

 

said it better than i did haha

 

As always, the proper answer is to be honest with her and ask her whats up.

As for the idea of giving her an ultimatum, or stealing her from her bf... keep in mind... do you want to put effort into a relationship with someone who would do that to her bf?

How long will it be before she is flirting and talking to someone else, and what will she do then if THEY give her the same ultimatum you did to steal her?

It always amazes me how people never consider that when they try to steal someone elses bf/gf... if they can be 'stolen' away from them, they can be stolen away from you...

Same as people who get involved in affairs with attached/married people and then are shocked when down the line, they find out the person is cheating on them.

 

fuck her.. in 20 yrs, if you dont knock her up.. you will not even remember her or her bf...

 

boyfriends/girlfriends are only obstacles..

 

hahahahahahahahahaha

 

The same thing just pretty much happened to me except the other way around. I just made friends with this kid at school and he knows I have a bf, yet he goes out of his way to mention how much we have in common and shit like that. I mean he's cool and we do, but I'm not trying to do anything about it.The whole situation is awkward. I think we're just too nice when it comes to that sort of thing. Just tell her straight up otherwise it's going to get even more confusing.

 

do you really want this chick as a GF??? if shes flirting with you now that she has a BF what makes you think she wont do that same shit when your boyfriend?

 

thanks for all the advice guys i think i know what i'm gunna do now

i know, i did consider that and i'm completely prepared for it. i know not to get attached to this one too much and i'm easing off a little

 

we'll see what happens. even if it's just a short thing it'll be a good one

 

qft

 

this

 

Nothin you say suggests she's intentionally leading you on, don't forget that you're flirting with her too, bud.

As far as what to do, get more direct and stop pussyfooting.
Either ask her what's up, make a more direct move, or tell her you're confused.

 

This!

 

I say go for it. Let her make the decision. When I was in high school, I would never let the idea of another guy get in my way unless I knew the person. Now keep in mind I was not looking for sloppy seconds but I was always keeping my options open. There was one point when I was dating 5 girls at one time. They were all going to different area schools. The worst problem I had at that point was when they would call me and I was not sure who it was. Keeping track of 5 different girls was hard but also fun. I consider that the highlight of my high school dating carear. After that I kept it to one or two.

The long and short of it is, you are young, it is too early in your relationship to put demands on her. If she wants to date two guys you are not in a position to tell her to only date you. Now if things get serious then it's time to put the foot down so to speak but just live in the now and enjoy the little gifts that life can throw at you.

Now, on the otherhand. Would you not always be worried about a girl who has a "boyfriend" and is still willing to date you. It's up to you but you must be willing to know that she is with another guy. If you can't handle that then I suggest you don't date her.

It all boils down to what you are willing to accept in a relationship at this level. What if you did not know about the boyfriend? She is playing the field just as you should be.

There is no ring on this finger!

Good Luck.

 

I'm a firm believer in unless you have a ring on your finger, keep your options open. Yes, this girl has a boyfriend, but she ain't married, and therefore is fair game for you to make the moves.

 

dang.. what about respecting people's relationships?