Would you date someone who had a child?

Pretty simple question. Right now I'm dating this girl who has a 4yr old (her little boy's bday was 3 weeks ago and her's is in June). Anyways, when telling some of my friends about her they instantly start criticizing her. I for one am a very easy going, understanding person. I do not hold it against her for having a child w/ the kid's father. Of course it was an accident, but she's pro-life and chose not to abort the baby. This could happen to ANYONE who has premarital sex. I guess if I was in the same situation, I wouldnt want someone to hold it against myself...

What are some other opinions about situations like this?

 

I've dated my fair share of men with children. I definitely don't hold it against them. Everyone has a past...and it comes in all different forms

 

At my age, I don't think I would... but never say never. I guess I just don't feel like having kids right now.

 

Not at my age (19). But in years to come I hope I'll be open enough to not run away from a woman with a child.

 

i dated one guy who had a kid (got his gf of the time pregnant whne he was 16 or so). he left me to date her again but its all worked out for the best, shes pregnant again and ive found a better (in my opinion at least) boyfriend, so, sall good

 

A couple of years ago I would have said no but this fall I dated a guy with the most adorable 3-year-old little girl and have only been with guys who have kids since. I don't know if it's a coincidence but most guys with kids seem more affectionate, patient, sensitive and responsible.
I can't stand people who are completley irresponsible.

 

i don't think that i could handle it

 

Probably not. I look at relationships where either the gf or the bf has a child and they seem pretty like they are permantely tied down. I, for one, couldn't handle that. I suppose it works for some and not for others.

 

If I wasn't already attached, I would have no problem with it. My ex is engaged to be married to a girl his age (22) with a 6 year old, and I find that a little weird, but that's just because he's never seemed the father type to me and to just throw himself into the position of being the father figure for a kid who's already in school seems really strange. But hey, I'm just glad he's happy, cuz it's been so long since I've seen him smile like that.

 

to each his own but just because someone has kids from a previous relationship doesn't mean you can't fall in love with them. what if you declined a relationship with someone who had kids, and you loved them you would give up love because they have a kid, i don't know imo.

 

i totaly would, i think it could be really nice. come on, dads are hot! lol but really, i love kids and it seems like a guy with a kid would be much more down to earth which is pretty much the most important thing im looking for in a guy right now. not that im really looking for a guy.... lol

 

i would i don't really see the problem as long as they were involved in the kids life if they were a dead beat dad hell no

 

yeah good point

 

maybe in future
but definetely not now

too young for that responsibility and all...

 

Just from another perspective for all the girls who think daddys are sexy. Please imagine this: having to deal with lots of baby mama drama, not being able to go out on dates because you cannot find a babysitter or better yet your man cannot afford a babysitter. Moving on, how sexy is picking up puke at 3 am when the child suddenly comes down with the flu? How about when children throwing tantrums and everybody staring at you, while you are out to eat? That's something I would picture for real. Children are great, I wont deny that, but reality sometimes has a nice way of biting you in the behind.

 

I can understand why it would be difficult to some people. I have a son, and while I can always find time to make a girl happy, it usually is not enough time. I am very busy with him and my job, and I really would not like to give up my hobbies I've been able to develop further since becoming a single father. So, I can understand why some girls would not want to deal with such responsibility, especially at my age

 

It would depend on several things 1.) What is their relationship with the other parent (I would not put up with a bitter and jealous ex who thinks I am trying to replace her) 2.) What their parenting style is (I believe in kids being reasonably well behaved and not spoiled brats) 3.) They would have to be serious about being a good parent and always put the child's best interests first.

There is nothing wrong with dating someone with kids as long as you lay out some ground rules first. It's not something to take lightly, because often times the child forms a bond with the "new person" so that also needs to be taken into consideration. When you date someone with kids you need to remember that when things go wrong the child can be negatively affected emotionally.

The one thing that really irks me is when women try to get their kids to call every man they date "daddy". That is a horrible thing to do to a child!

 

I helped raise my brothers for awhile. He married a single mom and it worked out well. I like being called Uncle. I have dated moe than a few single moms. The young lady I'm currently seeing has an 11 y/o girl but her daughter is severly autistic and lives in an institution.

 

For ME that's an idiotic question... (not saying the question itself but for me).... of course, it wouldn't make any difference to me.

 

Of course then, you have proven your tolerance and maturity. Love, acceptance, is not out in question for someone with such a strong mind. Congratulations to you Lucky, why even ask such questions? Your rite, it is all dependant upon individual situations, and you summarized the unconditional love and acceptance. If only everyone was as mentally capable as you, to forgive and accept all for what it is. Beautiful post, simple, but beautifuly deep at the same time