Witnessed an INSANELY bad trip. The `Freak out`

I never really shared this experience with anyone, and it also leaves me kinda dumbfounded as to what could have been running through this kid's head, and how he could ever of acted so impulsively and manically..... but who knows! I'm done guessing. My conclusion is, it has made me believe in everything that anybody's ever said about LSD having therapeutic/spiritual potential -- and the potential of producing extreme paranoia and fear. But, Anyway, 'ere goes....

Well it was the night before Christmas (honestly), and all the little children were waiting eagerly for their drugs to set in, in this particular case, LSD! Woo.

A few friends and I, Tom, lisa, Felix, Ryan, gathered together on this (what should of been (a)) special night to try some sweet Cupid print blotters, very strong indeed. From personal experience I could say these blotters were no less than 150 mics per hit, and we all ended up on 3, except Ryan (who paid for all of us, great guy), and wanted to get more out of his money's worth, so he took 5 (and handled it quite excellently).

OFF NOTE: How I will always wish I had a video camera or tape recorder this night...

Anyway, the night began obviously with dosing :::taking our hits:::. We were all sitting around in my friends garage, (which is laid out very nicely), very roomy, couches aligned around the garage structure with tapestries and Christmas lights covering the walls and ceiling. -- Not to mention a nice boom box that was handling our music all night, in the corner between two couches sitting on a chest that acted kind of like a coffee table.

But yeah, in this surrounding, it was pretty much good vibes, great people, awesome tunes keepin us mellowed out, a few blunts goin' around, and a tad bit of nervousness as we awaited any sign of the trips beginning.

::Skip ahead 5-10 minutes to the initial come up::

As for my side of the story, I was just kickin' it back on this one couch, getting the Giddy laughter of a come-up, and was swallowing spit like every 30 seconds because LSD makes me over produce funky tasting saliva. The "swaying" and "stretch-like morphing" of the visuals were almost beginning within the first thirty minutes and damn I was loving it. Just zonin' out checkin out the christmas lights and lookin around, watching the content of the tapestries transform themselves, .. shutting my eyes and getting lost in what felt like my personal extacy of meditative feeling, while witnessing some extreme kaleidoscope-like visuals. I would attempt to explain the intricacies but I might lose you guys. This all went on for about fourty minutes to about an hour and a half -- I couldn't tell you for sure, the time dilation and the feelings of eternity were practically KOing me.

Now this kid -- FUCK -- who had the bad trip -- He must of said EVERY TYPE OF GOD DAMN THING IN THE WORLD that'd you expect some kind of schitzo'd-weirded out alienoid-demon dude would say. And it doesn't help that I overthink things at times, and was under the influence of a drug that can temporarily make you believe any type of bullshit you hear.

The kid who got launched into the bad trip was Felix. (Now the explanations of what he did won't be in a nice story format like what I did for the beginning above, my memory from that night after the come-up is still in pieces.. I'll try though).

It started with him (Felix) in the corner saying -- "Guys, something very bad is about to happen."

OFF NOTE: I KID YOU GUYS NOT ANY THING I'M SAYING HERE. Nothing I ever confessed in my life is more truthful then this story, not that I'm a liar or anything, I just want to make my point clear: THIS happened. I could NOT make this up.

No one was really paying attention to him at this time (besides Tom and I), but my friend Tom claims that's what he said first. Tom attended to him and tried talking to him a little bit, but he was clearly spacing out and not listening to a word Tom was saying.

I got up off the couch and came by Tom (and we were both standing to gether observing Felix pretty much), whilst lisa and Ryan were on the other side of the garage getting lost into whatever they were experiencing.

He (Felix) was clearly non-responsive and lost "in his own world" as he was earlier putting it, even though for some reason moments ago he was able to announce that something bad was on it's way.

But suddenly, he starts twitching out all spazzicly. Jerking his head sideways and forward at what seemed like the speed of light at the time and he kept making weird "Robot" and "tongue" like noises. He kept saying, "Bing-Bing-Bing-Bing , BOP BOP" "KA-YOYA! KA YOYA!" while twitching around. He kept jerking his chest forward and he just would not stop acting like this. By this point -- everybody's attention was on him. 5 minutes of this behavior persisted, then he stopped all together. He stopped speaking completely and just sat there.

But then he came alive again apparently and started saying-

"Guys, what channel are we on. GUYS (emphasizing). WHAT . CHANNEL . ARE WE . ON? WHO CHANGED THE CHANNEL." (completely freaking out at this point)

^ I can only conclude from that he thought that he was on a TV show. Cause we had no TV in there. And this ain't even half of the worst of it.

Next, he got up off the chair and started pacing around the garage. He still kinda had it together (compared to what he is about to do in this story). We were obviously tripping our balls off and the outdoors were kinda off limits at this point. And, we didn't want a kid in this kind of condition ranting and raving outside my friends house and attracting attention.

In the midst of his pacing he says - "So is this what we're gonna do our whole lives, IS THIS IT? - Are we just gonna sit around in this garage and GET FUCKED UP ALL THE TIME? IS THIS IT? "

But nonetheless! He gets up, as I said, pacing, saying that, and then suddenly bolts outside. The drive-way is right infront of the garage, and he only made it about that far (the drive-way) until I came right up to him and said "Felix we need to stay inside." And then for whatever reason he felt it was necessary to tell me that I don't exist and I'm only in his mind. But yeah, fuck that, whatever man, you just need to come inside.

At this point we were all inside the garage, conversating amongst ourselves, but at the same time watching Felix (who wasn't talking to us, just zoning out in a chair we made him sit in, and we didn't want him to try and run OUT again). He was VERY clearly 'not there' at all, and not 'really' listening to anything we told him.

However, he kept trying to jump in our conversation at random (as if he was following it) but made no sense at all. Saying the weirdest shit, and then moments later saying weird shit again yet acting as if he had never made an incident in the first place. His tone of voice and the emotions conveyed through it were swapping at rapid fire. At this point he just broke our conversation with his madness and the attention was centered around him. It went like this.

One moment he'd be relaxed, "Hey guys, I need a cigarette." (Tom had handed him a cigarette but then he put in on a coffee table, sat back in his chair and zoned out).

Next moment, he would practically shout while standing up off his chair a little bit, "WHO AM I? WHO AM I? WHERE AM I? WHAT IS THIS?"

Tom was saying "Felix. You ARE TRIPPING."
Suddenly Felix would sound like he was groggy and very tired - he said - "I'm whaaatttt.."

Tom - YOUR TRIPPING. You're at my house. We're on LSD. ACID.

Felix (suddenly appearing alive and crazy again) - WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!?! WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE? I DONT KNOW YOU. WHO ARE YOU?! WHAT IS LSD? WHAT IS ACID?:

Tom - We're your friends! It's me - Tom - man! It's ME (they were best friends up until this point, so imagine the smooth and reassuring tone of voice here)! You're just tripping! You're on a DRUG.

Felix - WHAT THE FUCK IS TRIPPING? WHERE THE FUCK AM I? WHO ARE YOU.

Suddenly he gets up and starts trying to attack Tom and Ryan (Ryan is a bigger marine-guy and Tom would lay this kid out easily so it's not like his spazzing out could get far). He starts trying to swing at them but immediately Ryan locks him in his arms and prevents him from moving.

Ryan kept telling him "Just relax buddy, just relax, settle down. It'll be okay. You're tripping man. Just settle down, for real."

Felix (Suddenly shifting his tone of voice from freaking out maniac to a more sensitive seductive tone) - "Okay, .. if I relax, .. will you let me go, then?" (It sounded almost as if he was trying to manipulate Ryan in a weird way.. u would just have to hear the tone of voice to get me. It was just.. fucked sounding in a way).

Ryan - "Yes Felix. Just settle down man, you're tripping."

Felix - "Oooooh. Okay. I'm sorry guys." (saying it lightly as if all is suddenly well and he never did anything nutty, in that same weird tone)

Then he would act as if it never happened, and sit there with a smile on his face again, acting as if he was apart of the group the whole time and all was chill. And then he asks once again," hey Guys, I need a cigarette".

We had given him a cigarette already the first time but he put it on the coffee table and didn't light it. Between all these little outbreaks and instances he was primarily just sitting on a couch, looking sluggish and sleepy, zoning out. When he wasn't speaking, he would almost seem to be sitting there on couch unconsciously with his mouth sort of ajar and his head leaning over.

So we had said, "dude, your cigarettes on the table". For whatever reason he suddenly seemed panicked and got up. He looked over at lisa who was sitting near him and said (shouted):

"FUCK ME lisa I WANT TO FUCK YOU. FUCK ME FUCK ME. HAVE SEX WITH ME lisa, -- COME ONNNNNNN (sounding as if he was a 5 year old kid begging for a toy at the store)"

And attempted to launch at her but quickly Ryan intervened and got him off. At this point he was just going wild and crazy in Ryan arms.

While in Ryan's arm he would say, suddenly in a more hushed down tone, "Oh comme onn lisa, why won't you just have sex with me. Let's do it. Come on. I WANT to fuck you". He kept trying to break out of Ryan's arms to come at lisa but that kid wasn't getting anywhere.

--

Personally, at this point - I'm ready to flip a nut myself. All I need is space. I just can't deal with this situation anymore, I'm finding it hard to hold it together now. However naturally and instinctively it seems I was handling Felix the whole time, trying to calm him down, despite my fear in the background. I kept trying to sit him down when he was getting up between all this, while saying "come on man you're only tripping just relax, it'll be over". It seems we were all taking rounds at doing this for him.

I can not even explain the visuals I seen at this point I just explained, but I literally felt as though I had seem a demon trying to escape this kid through his mouth. It was weird, believe what you will at this point (just my opinion really), but as he was being restrained in Ryan's arms he kept trying to cough something up. Ryan let him out and he got up. He kept coughing and it looked as if a face with a stubby horn was stretching out of his mouth, and his pupils looked as if they were 5 inches wide and empty. It looked like he kept trying to spit it out but then it would go back into his body. He attempted to do this bodily cough five times (it really did seem like he was trying to eject something, all of agreed on that), but whatever it was he couldn't get it out.

Now I'm having trouble processing what I'm seeing, because I sort of believe that there is a demon in him. But, I just wanna leave above all. Screw this kid. I don't wanna trip sit this maniac -- he's starting to make me feel like I'm on a fucking TV show, lol. I ask Tom (he's that one friend here who I can talk to and tell 'everything' too, so ofc. I explained that I needed a walk around the block real badly on the side to him).

Ryan (holding Felix still at this point), agree's that he can watch Felix while we run out, and lisa joins us. Tom said after leaving that garage he kinda felt like a Leash just broke off his body, literally (well not literally, because the acid kinda gave it that effect).

---

As for the walk, it was awesome. Felix was in the background of my mind so I don't really remember exactly how my visuals were acting, I think I was probably paying attention more to my thoughts of him than my surroundings (my mistake, I wish I could of enjoyed this trip more -- the visuals were second to none balls to the walls). From what I can remember, it looked like the trees surrounding the roads in my neighborhoods were growing 100 feet tall and then shrinking back down, whilst at the same time the leaves were shimmering and doing the same thing -- growing, expanding, melting shrinking. Every thing seemed stretched out -- ten feet ahead looked like 10 miles ahead soberly. Not to mention the body high, mmm.

Bla bla bla, we walked. Went to a walgreens, stole some candy and stretchy toys (lol). And after we were done at walgreens it was back to the garage!! (Noooooo). I asked Tom if we can just split. I kept saying, fuck man, screw this Felix kid. Let's just go.
Not that I was trying to be inconsiderate here, but my sanity felt like it was on the line around that kid. The negative vibes emanating from him were intense and freaking me out. I've had only two - three bad trips and I never felt anything this scary.

----

Anyway, inevitably, we went back. Felix actually seemed some what relaxed again and dozing off again on a chair -- While Ryan was just kickin it back lookin as happy as can be, enjoying his trip. I guess apparently while we were out Felix kept asking to eat Ryan's insides and something about taking his soul. IDK. Some fucked up shit. And that's not even all of it.

----

Of course, it's late now. Probably 4-5 hours into the trip. I'm not even wanting the experience anymore, and I live not too far from Tom. So I just wanna go home. Either Tom let me or I just went off on my own. I don't remember. I just couldn't stand any of it anymore and they seemed to have it in control.

Though in my absense, I guess it was more of the same. He attempted to lunge at lisa about 3-4 times. Though that kid was obviously heavily monitored and wasn't gettin anywhere in his attempts.

To make what could be an even more longer story short, I guess eventually he just fell completely asleep, and didn't remember any of what he did. There is a lot more to this story -- a lot more trippy things he said scattered about that I can not even think to remember right now. He said things about nobody existing but himself, he said only his mind was real, that everybody was fake except him. He kept thinking he was on a TV show one minute, bitching about somebody changing the channel of his life the next. He kept saying he didn't exist eventually. He kept asking if he was going crazy. And a lot more I could probably get off my friends if I ask. He also did say he was going to "kill Lisa" in one of his lunges if she didn't fuck him....

I wanna make this into an official trip report eventually, just a lot more detail to add in... My memory is poor as it happened pretty much right before 2009 began.

And that's it. Opinions?

 

funny me and a few of my buddies had almsot the exact same thing happen. this kid just freaked out and kept tryin to fuck my buddies girl and also had no memory of it the next day. But my opinion is that acid in some people just realeases the id and the ego is totally lost as for not remembering this is probubly the brain protecting itself from such a traumatic experience. Did u guys stop talkin to felix after this because we certainly stopped talkin to tay tay aka out felix lol

 

Oh yeah. We don't associate with him anymore. Still scares my boy Tom to even see the kid drive by his house from time to time. I guess months went by (they were best of friends for years I guess thats whats sad here, growing up together from like 14 to 18 years old), and they attempted to chill again, but Tom says that that kid is just a complete wack now. Just fucked, unfortunately. Nothing of what he used to be before that.

&&
I could imagine-, speaking of repressing and traumatic events, I forgot to add that during that trip he was on the ground saying all this weird shit like he was re-living something that happened w/ his dad. Like completely talking to somebody not there and saying all these weird lines, and also saying "NO- No- no no no no- NO", while squirming on the ground . Jezus fuck. lol

 

that is just some freaky shit man. i don't even know what i would do if someone i was tripping with started doing that. hopefully i wouldn't be having a very high dose trip, that would make things much harder.

the demon thing is just scary.

 

Dude thanks so much for the story, I really dug reading it. Sorry that kid was such a bummer. If you read this can you please answer me something though. What did Lisa do when Felix lunged at her? What'd she say or how'd she react? Just curious. Thanks. I hope your next trips are way better. Peace

 

Haha thanks I appreciate that.

Lisa was somewhat scared at first, but she did back herself up in all out bitch-mode (eventually she wasn't taking shit from this idiot anymore) . She started saying stuff like "you aren't screwing anybody you crazy bitch" or something like that. If I recall correctly she tried being laid back and saying "No Felix I'm not going to screw you", but that didn't work.

But, when he first lunged @ her she did back off the whole time and was trying to back up away from him -- she was cornered on a couch and my friends had to pull him away from her, -- i think it took her a lot to say even that though, cause initially I think she was scared and confused speechless. We all knew this kid for a while and NOOOBOOODYYY could have predicted a reaction like that from the kid on acid.

Especially him wanting to randomly "murder-rape" somebody while tripping. That's a bit intense, and too far I'd say. Shows you how the sex drive on some men is a true fucking weakness and a pity.


& Thanks for the wishes. I need em I can never just have that all - out "content" and "reach the depths" kinda trip. I had the potential on that dose - but not the setting.

 

I would've probably did the same thing, can't stand it when people can't handle their trips and flip.

 

Yeah, I'm sayin. Lol
This kid didn't seem like the type either to bust out with that kinda BS - especially the things he was saying. unexpected, unwanted. Had to get outta there and recollect.

 

Wow, that's absolutely terrible if it really changed him for good. I've heard about some bad trips, but I've never actually seen someone REALLY freak the fuck out. It's a real bummer that you had to spend your trip dealing with that. And that's really fucked up about the dad thing. Weird, man!

 

He has a demon in him
The cure is love -
and abandonment he gets
makes you wonder how he got this way in the first place

 

me either. It's a bummer. I'd really like too.

 

Yeah, I know. I feel bad underneath it all for him -- he seemed like an 'ordinary' guy before that, and now he just seems a bit reclusive and wacked.

But ya, I've heard about freak outs before then - usually it's just people having a kind of unwarranted and bizarre fear, and acting strange and running away or something of that nature.

This kid however, actually lashed at people and raised shit to a screaming at the top of the lungs and life or death situation degree - and we were all faced on top of it! I'm really glad the cops weren't involved that night and nobody was like.. critically injured, lol.

 

Maybe he does not have a great capacity for embodying states of higher awareness, (and as well all know, LSD indeed is a catalyst for temporarily gaining access to these states) so in response to the uplifting chemical, all of his excess energy and awareness had to be directed to the only place where they could be compensated for - the lower chakras, creating some sort of unstable, dysfunctional energetic cocktail.

The whole kill/fuck thing is really interesting, as that could easily be considered a confused overly amped up sex drive relating to the second chakra, and testosterone basically has only two functions anyways - kill it or fuck it.
Also, his insistence that he was the only one that really existed could be a misinterpretation of the message of oneness that could not be computed by the third chakra, which is responsible for personal awareness. In other words, he was receiving the message of Oneness that we all get, but since his higher energetic centers lacked the capacity to perceive it, it was regulated to the 3rd chakra - thus, instead of "God is the only one, we are all God", we get "I am the only one, you do not exist."

I really wish I could hear his side of the story.....fascinating.

 

Pretty interesting that you could translate that all into the idea of chakra's, I never really looked into the function of each individual one but I do have a basic understanding and know where ya goin with it. His statements had reminded me of solipsism at the time. Lol, and as far as the "I'm on a TV show bla bla", that one really weirded me out when I was dosed. Don't know what sparked a comment like that. Just hearing somebody actually say that and MEAN it when they're tripping is enuff to get you on the skitzo vibe yourself.

Honestly, that story I feel doesn't even touch what actually happened that day. The negative energy was explosive, and what better way to feel it than to be dosed? Jeez. I probably left out a lot of juice I forgot about too.

During that walk my friend Tom also read my mind (even though it wasn't on my mind at the time, it was something I was curious about) and started randomly talking to me about the illusion of time and eternity and that weirded me the fuck out cause I never discussed anything remotely spiritual with him in that kinda depth we were gettin at, I pretty much felt like everyone else was reflecting back what I felt, the oneness thing I guess.

As for his side of the story - he doesn't remember a thing. I could straight up tell you wherever he was it was probably mostly unconscious. It almost seemed like he was doing these things automatically. If you were there, it almost seemed like he was "glitching" out. With the whole BE-BoP boo Bop Thing. lol. And he also kept saying like 5 different statements over and over again and was shuffling them for 5 minutes. His insecurities were radiating. I just.. couldn't even capture the bulk of it in words if I try. It was truly mind blowing and showed me the truth in expecting the unexpected (with psychedelic drugs).

 

quite a read, swooosh. I read it twice. I'm glad your buddy ryan was able to relish his trip with that going on. two totally opposite vibes existing side by side. aside from felix's sexual advances, a lot of what he said kinda made sense in a bizarre way. I've felt at one point on a trip that no one existed but me, and it was not pleasant it was a very profound loneliness. I'm sure his experience was different though.

I find it very noteworthy that during the comeup he said "something bad is going to happen." it seems like he might have been carrying some baggage into the trip and knew the acid was going to run away with it, idk. maybe just wishful thinking that it was not a totally random occurrence and he created this trip somehow, but that's a tired debate.

how many times had felix tripped on acid and other psychs before then? is he really messed up now or is it that he acts a certain way around the ppl there that night? You said the other guy was his best friend until this incident, could that have influenced his behavior in the months after the trip?

sorry to pester you with questions man thanks for sharing what you already have. wild stuff.

also neo those are some deep insights. makes sense.

 

Happy to answer anything I can man. Thanks for posting. I wanted experienced LSD users to hear about this, so no prob.

Felix and Tom both had their second trip that night. Felix's & Tom's first trip actually didn't go anywhere, and I was there to experience it with them (I'm supposedly the bringer of Good vibes to that group, just couldn't fix that kid -- could make him relax for minutes at most but then the fear would overtake him and he'd start lashing out manically once again)

-- but yeah, first trip they had -- Some serious weakened and short-cut acid (The guy tried giving me paper that was clearly less than 1/4 x 1/4" a hit, kinda ridiculously small.) I got a body high with mild visual distortion at best, mild ego recession. Point is i wouldn't say they had any real experience with breaking through to that other side prior to this clearly heavy dose trip.

I can't even count the trip number mine was, Lisa + Ryan probably couldn't either. Probably why they held their game. Tom now has a bad idea about acid unfortunately, basically he only believes in the neutrality and now only knows the potential of something going terribly wrong instead of terribly right lol, he never got to feel the depths of positiveness you can reach on it, -- I guess you could put it.

is he really messed up now or is it that he acts a certain way around the ppl there that night?

I guess i could say imho he was always one of those kids just looking for social acceptance. He didn't really think for himself he just went with what everyone else is saying and doing. He probably has something terrible repressed, and some issues to straighten out no doubt. But now I guess he doesn't even really try around other people -- he's slowly becoming more and more burnt and shut down, unfortunate really. This was all shown to us hands down on the acid -- he actually kept changing his personality and mood to see if people would start liking him even after he freaked out -- and everybody noticed this hands on. Illusion out the closet. It was weird man. idk how i can put it. hope that makes some sense there.

about the sex -

Last i heard actually he was using this bigger girl recently to sleep with, and succeeded. (this is after that bad trip he had)

You said the other guy was his best friend until this incident, could that have influenced his behavior in the months after the trip?

They were having some problems before hand -- This is where the social acceptance thing is verified. He literally tries being and acting like Tom in subtle ways, cause tom brings a more leadership type of vibe i guess u could say. He's funny too, and generally a key part in the crowd so i can see where that happened. Tom actually was confronting felix about the way he acted for the longest time, but they never really moved past it, they just tried to "look past it", but u could see the bad vibe still there clearly, just with the expressions me and Tom would exchange whenever felix would do something like it. Felix used to be his own man many years ago though. Something happened.

anything i need to clear up lemme know please

 

wow this just keeps getting more interesting. thanks

:lurk5:

 

All the chakras are fundamentally different states or energies of our consciousness.
That being said, the lower charkas are the least conscious and most reactionary of the bunch. So, if all of his energy was being directed down into these centers, it would make sense that he would appear to be on "auto-pilot".

 

Things like that are the reason why it's important to have an outside or an area of solitude accessible.

It is very possible that had he the ability to go walk out into the forest, in solitude, things would of quickly turned around for him.

Or gotten quickly worse... of course though it could get so worse he could come full circle, back to good. It certainly would allow him to get out of any loops he was in either way.

And assuming it's a repressed issue might not be true, the psychic waters and energies that exist even in tranquil suburban neighborhoods can be hell for some people, can be completely incompatible with some people. A different location could of caused a completely different effect. I know that in my neighborhood, which is a nice neighborhood, some waves of very nasty energy can come through it at times.

also, being enclosed in the same room with other people can at times be very disconcerting, even close friends, there energy can clash very intensely. People always need the ability to leave the group and go on their own during a trip.

If I was in your shoes, I would have stuck the guy in the bathroom, or a bedroom, or the garage, by himself. With the lights off. He needed to go deeper into his own mind, having other people around watching him was probably a distraction from his own self.

 

don't give an infant a telescope.