Why do women cheat?

I constantly hear chicks asking what makes a guy cheat. You realize for a guy to cheap there must be a chick who is doing approximately the same thing - unless there is one busy woman out there. Why do chicks cheat?

 

im guessing i inspired this question, so i'll answer you with my views, personally i have been in relationships where i havnt felt fully appreciated as a person, and thats why ive cheated, ive only cheated once mind you. the guys who i havn't cheated on have just generally been great guys to me, treated me right, listened to me, and ive felt a connection with them. i dont think its anything to do with sex for me, its to do with being loved and feeling close to someone.

 

You're right Crystaleyes. You did inspire that. Maybe a few others will dive in on both questions.

 

I agree with Crystaleyes. Women want intimacy and to feel special. If they aren't getting that from a partner they will seek it elsewhere. Although, some have other reasons. I cheated once so that my boyfriend would find out and break up with me b/c I was too chicken-shit to do it myself. And some women just aren't happy period. They want everything, no matter how fantastic a person their lover is.

 

I agree with the above answers, the only time that I've been motivated to cheat is when my boyfriend wont spend time with me.

 

the question should be why do people cheat cause its the same answer. The Why, selfishness, ego, jealousy, envy amd a few others. We as humans show little if any respect for others in general. Nothing justifies dis-honesty (unless you're talking to a cop) it is a sign of insecurity and low self-esteem.

 

Yeah, this should be a general question of why people cheat, not directed at one gender or the other. I have never cheated so I have nothing to add to this topic from my own experience. There's lots of "literature" out on the net from people who have cheated to read through. It always seems like there was something missing in the realtionship and the curiosity factor kicked in. Cheaters want to see what else is out there while keeping an attachment to their current SO, in case the grass wasn't really as green as they thought it would be on the other side. This is where the selfishness comes in. Anybody who is not content in their current relationship should step up, tell them it's not working out, and move on. It's not fair to the person who has invested so much time and energy into the relationship. I would much rather deal with the heartache before she cheats then after the fact.

 

Cheating is cheating I know - But don't you think that it is more of a lust thing for guys and a relationship thing for girls?

 

Good question. I would take a guess that men FAR outnumber women when it comes to cheating for sexual reasons. But, I'm also sure there's lots of women out there doing it for the same reasons. Only the cheaters truly know the reasons why they do it.

 

I've been proud to say I've had a perfect track record. I never cheated in a commited relationship. But some of the women in my now retired sex life, over the years.....have. Hence why I've started over in life so many times. In my 20's and 30's most women I knew "fizzled" out before me. I was a guy who they said was fantastic in bed in every way including oral. But.....even tho their complaint was "I can't keep up with you", I either cought them cheating or found out about it after the break-up. I believe it's like shoplifting even tho you have the money. The thrill of getting away with it. There are those who want a life, a "forever" partner, then there are those who want variety. I fell into the former category and it may have been a mistake. No it was a mistake, looking back. I think I should have done things differently. Men: don't ever think that men cheat more than women. It's equal. 50/50. I've retired from the dating game, grown too old to be attracted to the women in my age group. I have only my 30+ years of sexual experiences to share(some of them great!). Don't underestimate the female drive to cheat. No matter how satisfied you think you keep them. Most of my "glory days" came before the internet. I look at matchmaker sites now as sites that bring people together...but equally break them apart. Once the curiosity is there....the meat market is on your PC. Take it from a retired 48yo, cheating is equal regardless of gender.

 

Man, i've only read two of your posts so far and they have been great advice.

 

I once had a gf who would scheme and get really jelous if another girl so much as looked at me. she ended up getting really drunk and making out with some other girl. Im not complaining but shouldnt someone who worries about cheating be more careful about it themselves. oh and she said that it wasnt cheating since it was with another girl, how full of shit is that

 

I disagree that cheating has the same effect on both gender.

Guys cheat because either a) they dont care for you or b) they lost interest in you. Im not bringing guys down but most of it is A

I think if guys want to end it cause they lost feelings for you, they just end it. If they cheat, theyre scums

Girls cheat because yes, they want to feel loved and intimacy, a lot of guilt is built up with cheating but I, myself never cheated..never intend to..Ive been cheated on plenty times before and the reason was that they didnt care..not because they lost interest or needed love...and not only me but most girls I know have felt the same

I dont know if my stage of "i hate guys" is talking or im making a true point but it seems to be like that with guys

if I lost interest in someone, I would tell it straight out, not cheat. Thats rude and very low

 

As a man who has been cheated on quite a few times. It has come down to - previous feelings for another man or she is very insecure about herself. Both have bit me on the ass on several occasions.

 

I've never cheated because I feel insecure, infact I think you have to be very confident in yourself to go out and persue another man while being in a relationship.

 

I'd say 75% of guys who cheat know they are going to cheat going into the relationship. When the groundwork for the relationship is being laid out, they are already deciding whether or not they'll cheat on this person. There's really no way to find out if he'll cheat or not without directly asking him. And he'll usually lie anyway... so yeah, sometimes it's unavoidable. It just depends on his own ethics and how much he values the relationship with you.

The other 25% cheat because the girl has changed so much over the course of the relationship, she's not the same person etc.

 

Women cheat for many of the same reasons as men, and the ratio is about equal with unfaithful men being only slightly higher.

Many women cheat for emotional reasons. The seek the love and doting attention that their partner gave them when they were first together. Some women cheat for the sheer pleasure of cheating. The same can be said for many men.

The "why's" do not matter so much as the "how to prevents" do. Cheating, in most cases, can be prevented. It is not a matter of controlling your partners every move, but about communication and trust. It is also about putting the time into your relationship making sure that it stays on the right track. People often get so caught up in their personal crap that they completely overlook their partner. Many of the women that I know who have cheated did it because they were ignored at home. They got stuck in the role of mother or homemaker, and their partner's stopped treating them as sexual beings. They strayed because some man made them feel sexy. He whispered all the sweet nothings in her ear when her partner stopped doing it years ago. The men I know, either had an unhappy marriage, or just wanted something their partner refused to provide for them (oral, anal, etc).

Instead of focusing on the why's....why not ask people why they don't cheat. It seems more productive to understand what someone could do to keep their partner happy, then all the reasons they might get cheated on. Just seems more beneficial, but that is just my opinion.

 

Iam a one man woman but I have been tempted. I have met several men, while I was in a relationship with another, that I've been close with. By close I mean, I can speak my mind, we laugh together, -- just have fun together. I've come close to sleeping with one but I resisted. I don't want to ruin the friendship. Other women might not ujse the same restraint as me. Many women need men/sex to validate themselves.

 

There are a million reasons people cheat, whether it be just to be vengeful to get back at the person they are with for unspoken reasons, or they just are simply not attracted to them anymore and unable to sever ties.

I think in a lot of cases, women that turn into bitchy/cheating girlfriends do so because their man became a wuss bag, of course there are people out there that have no moral values and will cheat regardless of who you are, but if a woman loses respect for you as a man its more likely to happen.

 

There are many answers to this question and I personally believe that it depends on the woman and on the situation. I can only speak from personal experience. I cheated on my ex husband (I told him I wanted a divorce, and I filed the papers, and moved out of the bedroom into our living room and I told him that I was going to see other people and I suggest he do the same- but we were technically still married and stuck in a lease because he wouldn't leave or let me out of the lease). The reason I did this was because I was no longer in love with him. I can't pinpoint any one thing that happened or that he did. We just were not right for each other. I had absolutely no respect for him, I did not love him, and I guess you could say I did not care about him (I didn't wish anything bad would happen, I just really didn't want to be near him). Part of the reason I cheated was because men started paying attention to me and I was not used to that. Not just paying attention in a sexual context, but I found people that I could have actual intelligent conversations with. That is actually what attracted me to these men, they were well-educated where as my ex husband was not. We could have great conversations that went late into the night. I spent a lot of time with these different friends that happened to be men. And then I guess you just can't help who you catch feelings for. The difference is whether you act on it or not. I decided to act on it. I did not care about anyone but myself. I was 20 freakin' years old and I was being selfish for once. I never regret cheating my ex, OMG it opened me up to a completely different world and different life. I'm me now because of that decision I made. No one can ever make me feel badly about that. I would have never gone back to college and gotten a degree and bought a beautiful house or anything, had I not stepped out and figured out everything that I did.

That is the thing about monogamy that I don't think people understand. It isn't natural, it is a choice, a decision that someone makes. That is why we take vows, because it is not something that naturally happens, you have to promise to someone that you will do these things.

I have now been in a relationship with a man that I am absolutely crazy about (I did meet him after my divorce and after I had dated some other men) for 8 years now. I have never cheated on him. It has been a choice that I have made. I have had offers, but I want to be with the man I am with. I don't want to be with someone else. I don't really have an explaination for it.

As far as the grass being greener... it was in my case, but I think my case is unique and doesn't exactly apply here. Trust me the grass was not even grass it was dryed up old dirt, then I went to the golf course! (and I'm not talking about sex, but that is good too).

And a lot of women do cheat, we are just smarter and can hide it better and don't blab our mouths. LOL... I'm just kidding people, lighten up. (ok so part of it is true).