Why can't I forget about him??

Discussion in 'Relationships' started by SunnyHappyVegan, Jan 24, 2011.

  1. SunnyHappyVegan

    SunnyHappyVegan Member

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    So, basically I had an online 'relationship' with somebody that fell apart almost a year and a half ago now...it lasted about 6 months, but fell apart basically because of him... he stopped going on as much, flirted with somebody else, and we just stopped talking almost...
    But I haven't stopped thinking about him- and I'm sure he's not right for me!
    But now he's been being more active on the site, and all I wish is we could og back to the way things were- even though I know I don't want that, but I do!!

    Why can't I believe myself when I say he isn't right? Why do I still want him so bad?? I'm so sick of this feeling, and I wish I could just move on and forget about him, because that's what I want to do, but I just can't :confused:

    I thought time was supposed to mend a broken heart, but shouldn't a year and a half be enough?

    (I'm also only 16, so I'm pretty sure this isn't real love...)
     
  2. haha_wintaaa

    haha_wintaaa Member

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    It can be hard to let go of someone (real or online), but you just gotta remember that everything happens for a reason, and it was good that you had a relationship with him, but now you need to move on and find someone new.
    Once you force yourself to become interested in other people, you'll look back and think it's silly you spent so much time upsetting yourself over this.
    Best of luck! :)
     
  3. newbie-one

    newbie-one one with the newbiverse

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    doesn't sound too healthy if you can't get past this

    also, maybe you could contact him and ask directly what is going on
     
  4. Geriatric Delinquent

    Geriatric Delinquent Member

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    That's not true, SHV. Love at your age, and even before, is the most intense love you will ever experience. What you are feeling is as genuine as it gets.
     
  5. SunnyHappyVegan

    SunnyHappyVegan Member

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    ^ Maybe, I'm just making excuses for myself... Xd

    I am trying, and every time I find somebody else attractive, there's always something that turns me off... :(
    I go to a very small school, and there aren't many good guys.
    There was somebody who doesn't go to my school, who I did (do) find very attractive, but I've only seen him a handful of times, and haven't seen him for months now D:
     
  6. darrellkitchen

    darrellkitchen Lifetime Supporter

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    You're fixating ... not only are you fixating, but your talking your self into maintaining this fixation.

    When I say "your talking your self into ..." I used two different words as opposed to one word, i.e., "your" and "self" as opposed to "yourself".

    Look at what you said and pay attention to how many times you refered to your self as "I".

    Even thinking about not wanting to be in that particular relationship is fixating on the relationship you don't want to be in.

    If you truly want out, you would stop fixating on it. It's the fixation that keeps you bound to the relationship, real or imaginary. Whatever the mind fixates on, that object of fixation BECOMES ones reality, even if the object of fixation is imaginary, the imaginary then becomes reality.

    If you truly want out, stop fixating on it. Stop thinking about it. Let it go. Think about something else less arresting to your emotional development. Think about something that gives you joy, peace, stability of mind.

    Surely you have other friends you can hang out with. ...

    Pre-occupy your mind with other things. Don't even think about not thinking about him. Just stop. If you can't, then that means you enjoy your stress, your misery, your mental suffering. If you didn't enjoy it, you would just let it go without a second thought about it.



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