When Obama takes office...

When Obama takes office... flowers will immediately begin growing up from the sewers everywhere.

When Obama takes office... AIDS will be immediately cured.

When Obama takes office... every child in the world will have a year's supply of gourmet-quality produce.

When Obama takes office... all nuclear weapons will immediately turn into beautiful easter baskets.

When Obama takes office... your silverware will turn to gold and will hold the power to cure irritable bowel syndrome.

 

when obama takes office, all feces expelled from that point on will be bubblegum scented.

 

Wow, I just love this whole "Obama" thing. I don't really understand it, but it makes me feel much better about everything.

 

When Obama takes office, no one will pay any taxes, healthcare will be free and the overhead cost for american medical providers will drop to 75 cents a year.

 

When Obama takes office my acid reflux and insomnia will be cured and I won't want to smoke cigarettes anymore!

Osama bin Laden will turn himself in, the Sunni and the Shia will embrace each other, Gitmo will fling open her gates, Israel will spontaneously vaporize and Palestinians will begin to breed like rats. Real rats, not pressed rats, which would be pathetic.

And Pressed Rat will STFU for at least a week (I hope).

 

when obama becomes president all muslims will actually decide they had the wrong one of abrahams sons. and start the biggest conversion in human history.

they will also want to become part of the u.s. and replace their culture with the teachings of the mighty obama.

 

OK I'm out.

 

when obama becomes president all fissionable material will turn into phot-voltaic panels with equal power/time potential.

but will have the capacity to be infinitely durable

 

When Obama takes over, all the little black kids will stop wanting to be professional sports players/gangsters and instead will ALL want to be the goddamn president.

 

pfft, brotha you be crazay

(honestly though, that would MASSIVELY change the social structure of this country towards equality, but I don't think it will happen)

 

When Obama takes office, the lead paint on the walls inside houses across America will be transformed into a vital source of folate and vitamin D.

 

When Obama takes office......

 

when obama takes office, no one will ever be obese again, and women will not age past thirty eight.

men will all become silver foxes as we age.

and all STDs will vanish from the face of the earth.

 

When Obama takes office, the air you breath will feel like silk in your lungs.

 

When Obama takes office, your oranges will be so much jucier... your apples so much crispier.

 

obama gave the terrorists the plague.

 

omggg I have that too Its awful

 

when obama finally gets in office, my dream of becoming a woman will come true. And I don't have to do a damn thing. He just waves his almightly dick, and boom, I got me a hot little hairy vagina.

 

When Obama takes office, we gonna rock down to electric avenue

 

and then we'll take it higher.