What would u do if ur fiance....

had porn on his lap top? I knew my fiance had a little bit of porn on his lap top no biggie thought he never looked at it cause that would show up in windows media player where ya hit file and it has a list if files last seen or listened to. and it never did i fliped on his lap top tonight and went to listen to to a song he down loaded for me and the top 2 files was of 2 differnt videos of women stripping in front of a camera. It didnt bother me when i knew he had it a little while ago but now that i know i wasnt home and now he has watched them i feel violated or something. I dont know. Him and i have a very active sex life he comes home to me every night and makes love to me and well we have alot of sex. Do i not turn him on any more? He cums every time we have sex and tells me how much he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I have asked him b 4 if he finds other women attractive and he said yes but it doesnt matter cause he is faithful to me and loves me and would never do any thing to hurt me or our relationship and he is coming home to me every night. I dont think he is cheating or any thying hell im with him 80% of the time only only time im not whith him is when he is at work and that just stopped i did work there as well so we was together for like 99% of the time. Should i not worry about the porn i mean i know he is faithful and dont think he is cheating or any thing he is way to much into me and spends every second that he can with me and thats alot of time and if i dont wanna go out and do something with him he just stays home says its no fun if i dont go with him he rather be with me. So am i just being stupid now about the porn cause its the fact that i know he watched it yesterday when i wasnt home.

 

it's normal, just be thankful he ain't screwing around. besides, my wife enjoys watching porn with me.... infact she has picked many of in our collection.

 

As long as he's not cheating It shouldn't be that much of a problem. I admit from time to time I look at porn, but in no way would I cheat. My wife knows I look at porn from time to time, she isn't bother by it and in fact has her own porno collection! It's just fantasy, and from the sounds of it, he keeps it that way. Were only human, but if a couple of naked pictures of women would deter curosity it not a bad thing.

 

Honestly, women need to understand that men are turned on visually, whereas women are turned on tactilely... Porn and masturbation are going to be a part of your fiance/husband's life forever.

Do you think he does not masturbate now that you two are together? I can almost guarantee that he does masturbate, and while it's probably not as much as it was, it's certainly still there. In addition, he probably masturbates while watching that very porn which you discovered.

Again, most men will always do these things regardless of the relationship that they are in... it's just part of who we are. It has nothing to do with how he feels about you, or how much you turn him on... this normal! It is by no means an indication that he would cheat on your or do anything else which would be bad for either of you... please just try to understand that this is something you'll probably have to deal with, and the more comfortable with it that you are the less stress will your relationship have...

Anyway, good luck with him... I wish you the best.

 

When I was younger, I disliked anything that sexually pleased my man that wasn't me... Now, my philosophy has changed...

To me, porn is fantasy. It isn't real. He cannot touch them or make love to them. They are objects that fill a momentary need.

I also feel that cybersex and phone sex are within the fantasy realm. They have no physical contact with another human being...

Now, if my guy hooks up with another girl, in person... Look out! LOL I would also be uncomfortable with him having phone sex or cybersex with someone that he knows, in real life, as well, because they are "real" people at that point, not some faceless being inside a "box"...

As long as he keeps it strictly sexual in nature, doesn't develop a relationship and doesn't spend too much money, it's all good...

 

My boyfriend has tons on porno on his PC. I have some myself. It's not the porn itself that's the issue-it's how it makes you feel. The likely case is that he's like most guys, he wants visual stimulation for when he's by himself and feeling a bit randy. It has nothing to do with his feelings towards you-if he were dating someone else, he'd be looking at pics of you. But seriously-if it bothers you that much, talk to him about it. Hopefully, he'll decide he cares more about you than porn.

 

I did talk to him about it when he came home from work last night.He said yeah he may have it on his computer but has had it there for a very long time. Said he down loaded most of that when he was a teenager... (he is 21 now) so it was b 4 him and i even got together. And told me the last time he looked at any thing is when he went back to his parents house (he just moved in with me out of his parents house 6 weeks ago) he said he was home lone and i wasnt with him but said it didnt do any thing for him cause im the one he wants. And that night he came home to me and we had awesome sex as always. he asked me if i was uncomfortable with it on his comp and if i was he would erase it all. and told me that those women are nothing and no one to him and that he has what he wants at home and he would never in any way cheat on me and they are basically what you all said fantasy. He said yeah when we wasnt living together he did watch it alittle more cause we didnt get all the nights together and stuff and now we have sex atleast once a day every day of the week. But he said if it makes me uncomfortable he will get rid of it. so thank you all and i feel much better sense i talked to him about it. Thanx again all

 

take it and claim it..

 

thats not a big deal at all. ive looked at porn and i bet you have

 

Don't feckin worry. 'S a pleasure facilitator. And I'm pretty sure that, while girls don't wanna have sex 24/7, guys do, and since half of the equation is missin, we got ourselves some porn. Ahhhh, porn.

 

Ok, I want to know who told you that girls don't wanna have sex 24/7.

 

Thas why I said "I'm pretty sure" not "I'm positive that..." I don't know everythin!

 

I am the same way you are.My boyfriend and I shared a computer that my mom gave to us, and then one time I saw a TON of porn on it. I freaked out on him about it. I told him I got mad because my mom might see it, but I was really pissed because I dont want him looking at other girls. He ended up buying his own computer, and I bought my own as well.
I never got over it, and finally I told him how I felt, and it mad me feel like shit because he was looking at other girls. He said he would stop, but being a horny man, he never did.
I have finally told him I didnt care about it, as long as he didnt do it on my computer. (because I knew he wouldn't stop anyway)
I know exactly how you feel. I was worried I didnt turn him on anymore, but what can ya do?
I'm just not a big fan of porn.
Hell, I have even found dirty magazines in my boyfriends car underneath his seat! Hell, I'd rather it be on the computer.
Guys dont think porn is a big thing. BUT I know alot of guys that would flip if their girl had pictures of naked guys on her computer.
Why is that????
Just dont get too obsessed about it, or it will drive you crazy. Hell, I check his comuter all the time, and now I have found myself actually wanting to find porn on it so I can bust him!
Just thank god it's not somthing like child porn or anything. THEN, you have a problem!!!!!!!!

 

my fiance does too, and i'm cool with it. we occasionally watch together. he watches it to get pointers so i'm not worried,...i am worried about him getting a lap dance at an upcoming bachelor party. i told him he can go to the strip club but no lap dances. is that ok? like does it seem resonable?

 

That's your decision, but as a dancer (currently on break), I can tell you that all a lap dance entails is the dancer rubbing herself against the customer. It depends on the club of course, but usually the actual skin contact is limited (at my club, men are not allowed to touch AT ALL, and we can only touch their arms), and the dancer wears at the very least a G-string. It lasts 4 to 5 minutes, is nothing more than a tease and is usually performed for men who never have sex. If you're worried..go with him. If you can't or don't want to do that, I don't believe it's unreasonable to ask him not to get one if it makes you uncomfortable.

 

And yes, our sex drive is just as high as men's. It's just that women are conditioned to believe that sex is for bad girls, or that even thinking about sex makes them slutty. It's gotten better, but not as equal as it should be.

::YAY:: 100 posts!! Now I can go into the Political forums

 

This post is excellent and bears being quoted in full.
I completely agree.
Even when I have a girlfriend, I still like porn, and enjoy masturbating to it. It's altogether different from having actual sex with a person, and so it fills a different need.

It does NOT -- repeat DOES NOT -- diminish the love I have for the girlfriend.

Another thing to keep in mind is that people are not always able to be perfectly frank with a girlfriend or boyfriend about all the specifics of what turns them on. Sometimes a person is embarrassed to want certain things out of a sexual relationship, and may take years to finally get the courage to tell the other person -- or may never tell them.

Let's say you are just starting to date someone, and you do begin to have sex. Even 6 months into the relationship, or a year, one of them may not feel that the time is right to discuss the fantasies they have about, say, BD/SM, or anal sex, or foot fetishism. It is common for people to harbor these fantasies but keep them secret from their lover until something gives them the confidence to allow that part of them to show. In the meantime, PORN may give the person release! It serves a useful purpose.

Now, the question remains: Should your fiance be concerned that you snoop around his computer with a mind for finding his porn?

Blue skies,
-Jeffrey

 

I know, sweetness...I was just messing with ya!

 

Porn is nothing to worry about. I seen a few movies and pictures that are "entertaining." Porn is a huge part of a man's life. All men have it, and if they say they don't they are lieing ...lol

But seriously, it's healthy. Hey, if watching it doesn't bother you that much, watch some with him. Trust me, you won't be watching very long.

But if it does make you incredibly uncomfortable, he should respect you enough to get rid of it.

 

I watch porn, and I am a lady..
Its funny, cause a guy that I dated, he hated porn, I think he was a closet porn lover, but he would be weird about it, like when he found them, he looked disgusted..And I am almost positive if I went into his room I would have found some type of porn..
Porn is not the end of the world, its not a big deal at all...its not like hes obsessed with it and would rather watch porn than have sex with you..now thats a problem..